Last week, while I was waiting in the car to collect our children from school, my husband sent me a message: “There is a car I’d like to check out this afternoon.” (We’re looking for a second-hand vehicle to replace his current one, perhaps something our eldest can use while learning to drive.)

I wasn’t feeling well that day and replied, “I would love to lie down for a little while after the school run.”

“You can still,” he said.

“Okay. I’ll set an alarm for when Adri needs to go swim.”

Since I struggle to fall asleep anyway — or perhaps because I wasn’t feeling well — I forgot to set an alarm. For the first time in many months, though, I actually fell asleep without medication. It was a short nap, but it felt significant. Before I could even register it, my youngest woke me to take her to swimming. I then saw that my youngest son had messaged about fifteen minutes earlier to say he was finished at athletics and needed a lift. Having just woken from a too-short nap, I felt confused, tired, and overwhelmed.

Meanwhile, my husband had gone off to look at the car, assuming I had everything under control at home. Who can blame him? It’s been a long time since I’ve said, “I’m going to lie down,” and actually fallen asleep.

It wasn’t the best situation… but it got me thinking about making space for what matters, and what it takes to create that space. Maybe it starts with acknowledging what you need, and then having the support to let that space actually happen.

The next few months are going to be messy. Resting for two weeks didn’t help my sleep — it’s still poor. I’m back to running, but it does leave me feeling fatigued. The culprit may be my elevated iron levels, which we’re slowly addressing. It’s messy, it’s frustrating, but it’s the deck of cards I have to play.

What last week’s nap has shown me is that making space is rarely tidy. It doesn’t come wrapped in perfect conditions or timing. It comes through missteps, miscommunications, and trying again — and still not getting it right. Maybe that’s the point: space isn’t given, it’s made. Sometimes imperfectly, sometimes clumsily, but made all the same, and not always on the first try.

What do you know you need to make space for, but can’t seem to figure out?

News note: My Afrikaans Newsletter

Writing more in Afrikaans has been on my heart for a while now. I just don’t really know how to go about it. I don’t want to lose my English readers, but I’m also not sure I can manage two pieces every time.

At the Afrikaans 100 concert at Hoërskool Randburg, though, I was reminded how important it really is. If I don’t write in Afrikaans myself, my kids probably won’t either… and then probably not their kids, and so it goes on.

So I will see how long I can manage to put out two pieces every two weeks. It won’t always be perfect, but it’s better than nothing, and who knows — maybe I’ll get more comfortable with it as I go.

Please subscribe to it if you’d like to read what I write in my mother tongue.