“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” What a lie!

On the one side, I believe that we should be able to fairly criticize and share an honest opinion. On the other hand, I believe that it is better to keep quiet when you don’t have something good to say.

When trying to console someone who’s been the receiver of some hurtful words, sentences such as “Remember hurt people hurt people”, “Choose who you allow yourself to listen to” or “Offence is taken, not given” are sometimes uttered. Not that these consolations help. Once the hurtful message has been spoken or posted there is no knowing how long it will be pondered over in the mind of the receiver.

Recently I’ve been the receiver of some hurtful words. The one incident caused me to decide to complete the current project I was busy with but then to stop giving any more of my time and attention to a cause I’ve supported for nearly ten years, and which I feel I am actually good at. It is their loss, not mine – but that doesn’t make me feel any better about what happened.

The other incident was with my eldest son. He was busy making sandwiches for himself for school one evening. I walked past him and commented on the eight slices of bread he was using. He said that he needs to eat that much cause he works out every day. I said that I also work out each day, often twice a day, and before I could finish my sentence he said: “Doesn’t look like it!” He is young, he still needs to learn – doesn’t hurt any less though… And now he has to be taught as well. I’ve asked Derik to handle it.

Perhaps everything boils down to intent. If your intent is to warn others of poor service or scams, then, by all means, speak up publicly. If your intent is to give constructive criticism or to help guide, then do so privately. But otherwise perhaps keep quiet when you don’t have something good to say, cause you have no idea how long something you say can stay on someone’s mind.

And always give someone who has created something your most favourable review or remain quiet as tastes most certainly differ.

Have you been hurt by words? Have you hurt others with your words?