An observation from my run with Michelle on Friday was that I don’t push myself nearly hard enough. There were many times during that run I desperately wanted to run slower. And I would’ve… if it wasn’t for Michelle’s persistent pushing.

I shared this observation with Michelle. She said: “You need to learn to push yourself. It comes from your intrinsic motivation which you need to get in touch with.”

“Perhaps somewhere along the line, I’ve lost that intrinsic motivation?” I replied.

“You should think about what motivates you during a race and training.”

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What motivates me during a run? Somehow I reckon this question has no simple answer.

Michelle’s question is not what makes me get up, dressed and out on the road each morning. The “showing up”-part requires its own motivation. I reckon I’ve cemented the habit of exercising so well by now that showing up has become routine.

Michelle’s question is also not directed towards what it will take for me to see my workout through. Although it has happened before, it is unusual for me to start a workout and not see it through. Most of the time simply starting is enough to get me to finish a workout.

No. Michelle’s question is about what motivates me during a race or training. I.e. what will it take for me to push myself more and out of my comfort zone?

Late Friday afternoon, I went for a recovery walk to stretch out my legs and ponder Michelle’s question. I did not get around to any pondering though as my thoughts kept returning to the morning’s run and how accomplished I felt – I could not stop smiling.

I must’ve known the answer to Michelle’s question then. I probably knew when I clicked “Enter” (again!) two days after completing my first marathon last year. I just needed my memory refreshed.

Friday morning’s run was challenging – I can’t recall the last time something was that hard. Yet, afterwards, I felt:

• I was victorious in exceeding limits I’ve kinda come to accept are going to be there forever
• That I can get back to where I once used to be – and perhaps even improve on it
• That I am not limited

I felt so proud of myself! And also confident – specifically concerning running. Yet again, I cannot remember when last I had confidence in my running.

What motivates me during races or training is that feeling of being alive and limitless and that I am capable of anything and everything.

It is the grasping towards what sits beyond my abilities that causes me, time and again, to rediscover the spark inside of me. It is the pushing towards more that makes me more… So much more.