[{"content":"The past two weeks have been filled with celebrations as both my husband and my youngest celebrated their birthdays. And then there was cross-country\u0026hellip; which, despite all the celebrations, is what stood out most.\nEvery year, cross-country reminds me that I am, indeed, a road runner. My coach insists it does me good, so I dutifully pin on my race number and convince myself that perhaps this year it won\u0026rsquo;t be quite so bad.\nIt always is.\nThis previous cross-course was especially brutal. We had a log to jump over, endless zig-zagging up and down an embankment, and one section where we had to run across a steep camber that seemed designed to make everyone question their life choices.\nMore than once I thought about quitting.\nNot slowing down.\nNot walking.\nQuitting.\nAfterwards, I told my coach that if it hadn\u0026rsquo;t been for one thing, I probably would have stepped off the course. My youngest son had already finished his race and was watching ours. Knowing that somewhere out there he was watching me gave me a reason not to quit.\nI joked afterwards that I realised I had to set a good example. But the more I\u0026rsquo;ve thought about it, the more I\u0026rsquo;ve realised that\u0026rsquo;s only half the story.\nThe truth is that I needed him.\nHis presence gave me something to hold onto when my own determination started slipping.\nWe often celebrate self-motivated people. We admire those who seem to achieve incredible things through sheer discipline and willpower. But I wonder if we sometimes underestimate the power of simply having someone in our corner.\nSomeone who says, \u0026ldquo;Go for it.\u0026rdquo;\nSomeone who says, \u0026ldquo;I believe in you.\u0026rdquo;\nSomeone who waits at the finish line.\nSomeone whose belief in us becomes strong enough to carry us when our belief in ourselves falters.\nI always feel sad for people whose dreams are met with indifference or criticism at home. How many goals are quietly abandoned because nobody ever said, \u0026ldquo;I\u0026rsquo;ll be there\u0026rdquo;?\nSometimes the people who believe in us become the very reason we refuse to give up. Not because we don\u0026rsquo;t want to disappoint them, but because their belief reminds us of who we are when we\u0026rsquo;ve temporarily forgotten ourselves.\nI most certainly didn\u0026rsquo;t finish that cross-country race because I suddenly became tougher.\nI finished because someone important was watching.\nAnd sometimes, that\u0026rsquo;s enough.\n","permalink":"/blog/someone-was-watching/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe past two weeks have been filled with celebrations as both my husband and my youngest celebrated their birthdays. And then there was cross-country\u0026hellip; which, despite all the celebrations, is what stood out most.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery year, cross-country reminds me that I am, indeed, a road runner. My coach insists it does me good, so I dutifully pin on my race number and convince myself that perhaps this year it won\u0026rsquo;t be quite so bad.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Someone Was Watching"},{"content":"Last week, an Instagram page I follow had me thinking about why we do the things we do.\nWhy do I run, for example?\nI love being reminded of this now and then because motivation is fickle. A friend recently commented on another friend\u0026rsquo;s Strava feed that motivation has no loyalty. It is with you one day and gone the next.\nAnd that is true for all of us. Me included.\nNot long after that, another Instagram post had me in tears. A woman was questioning whether the years-long health journey she had been on was worth it at all. She was considering a gastric sleeve and asked the people who had followed her journey from the beginning whether they could actually see a difference between then and now.\nI cried because I understood exactly what she meant.\nAt the start of next year, it will be ten years since I rejoined Weigh-Less.\nIn those ten years, I have lost 80 kilograms, worked through emotional eating in therapy, started running, written two books, completed five marathons, and stopped weighing myself.\nAnd yet, many days, I still find this hard.\nIn my first book, I wrote about a saying often heard in weight-loss circles:\n\u0026ldquo;Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard.\u0026rdquo;\nSometimes it feels as though I live with both hards.\nI am still not at a \u0026ldquo;perfect\u0026rdquo; weight and probably never will be. I still live with a great deal of discipline. True, I no longer weigh my food or myself, but I still pay attention to what I eat. I still train hard. I still run about 50 kilometres a week on average.\nIt is still hard.\nThere have been many moments when I have wondered whether I should consider something like a gastric bypass. Maybe maintenance would be easier then. Maybe the constant effort would ease up a little.\nBut then I think about what I would be trading. I currently have a healthy digestive system and have had no trouble from hernias for years now. Surgery carries risks. Am I really willing to do that to myself?\nAnd medications such as Ozempic and other GLP-1 treatments are simply beyond what I can justify financially right now, especially while my children are still at home.\nSo what does that leave me with?\nIt leaves me with this: The other reasons.\nIf I run because I love it, because I enjoy the quiet time alone with my thoughts, because I like challenging myself, because I enjoy being fit, and because I can now do things I once thought impossible — then does it really matter if I don\u0026rsquo;t run to lose weight?\nIf I cook from scratch because it makes me feel good, because processed food leaves me feeling bloated and sluggish, because I want my children to see what balanced eating looks like, and because it is honestly more affordable than the alternatives — what other reason do I need?\nWhen the original reasons start losing their grip, find others.\nFind the reasons that will remain when motivation leaves.\nFind the reasons that continue making the effort worthwhile.\nBecause if you ever find yourself wanting to shout, \u0026quot; What is even the point of all this?\u0026quot; then perhaps the answer is not to quit the game, but perhaps to find a different reason to keep playing.\nBut there is a catch.\nThe other reasons may help us stay in the game, but they do not necessarily solve the problem that got us playing in the first place.\nAnd perhaps that is the part I still wrestle with.\nBecause while I genuinely love running, and writing, and feeling strong, and living a healthier life than I once did, there is still a part of me that would very much like the next decade to feel a little less hard than the decade that has been.\n","permalink":"/blog/still-here/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eLast week, an \u003ca href="/%22https://www.instagram.com/wethinkdeeply/%22/u003eInstagram/index.html" page\u003c/a\u003e I follow had me thinking about why we do the things we do.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy do I run, for example?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI love being reminded of this now and then because motivation is fickle. A friend recently commented on another friend\u0026rsquo;s Strava feed that motivation has no loyalty. It is with you one day and gone the next.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd that is true for all of us. Me included.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Still Here"},{"content":"Last week, my daughter got a hairband stuck in her hair.\nNot just tangled — properly stuck.\nI tried pulling gently. I tried working it loose with my fingers. I tried approaching it from different angles. Nothing worked.\nFrustrated, she suggested we cut it out.\nI was stunned. She is fiercely proud of her long blonde hair, protective of it even. The last person I expected to suggest cutting it was her.\nBut seeing no other solution, I carefully isolated the section where the hairband was trapped and began snipping away at a strand of hair — when she suddenly exclaimed:\n\u0026ldquo;Not my hair, Mum! Cut the hairband!\u0026rdquo;\nI froze.\nOf course. What an idiot I was. Why was I cutting the hair?\nThe hair was precious. The hairband was the problem. Cheap, replaceable, disposable.\nOne dramatic cut later, the hairband slid free. She grabbed a comb and detangling spray, worked through the knot, and within minutes her hair was smooth again. For her, it was over. For me, it was a lesson I couldn’t stop thinking about.\nHow often do I assume that getting out of a tangle means sacrificing something valuable? How often do I cut away the thing I care about, instead of the obstacle wrapped around it?\nThe expectation. The obligation. The fear. The belief that things must be done a certain way. The goal? The disposable hairband masquerading as something essential.\nWhat struck me most was how obvious the solution was to her. She never saw her hair as the thing to lose. She saw the hairband for what it was: the problem.\nAnd yet, removing the hairband didn’t instantly fix everything. She still had to sit down, comb through the mess, and work it out.\nThat’s another lesson. Removing the obstacle doesn’t immediately erase the knot. The healing still has to happen. The conversations still need to be had. The habits still need to change. The grief still needs to be processed. The work still needs to be done.\nBut once the obstacle is gone, progress is possible. Space opens up. We can breathe. We can heal. We can untangle ourselves without sacrificing what matters most.\nThe knot may remain — but at least we’re no longer tightening it.\nSo maybe the question to ask is:\nAm I cutting hair, or hairbands?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-hairband/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eLast week, my daughter got a hairband stuck in her hair.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot just tangled — properly stuck.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI tried pulling gently. I tried working it loose with my fingers. I tried approaching it from different angles. Nothing worked.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFrustrated, she suggested we cut it out.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was stunned. She is fiercely proud of her long blonde hair, protective of it even. The last person I expected to suggest cutting it was her.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Hairband"},{"content":"Why is it that lately, whenever I sit down to write this newsletter, I feel like I have nothing to say?\nWhich is absurd, really, because something objectively amazing happened these past two weeks: I completed my fifth marathon, well within the cutoff.\nI should be proud. I should be celebrating.\nInstead, I came home disappointed.\nNot because something went wrong. But because, somewhere deep down, I had hoped for more. And I am a fan of setting goals, but it always carries the risk of not reaching them, which can be disappointing. I wanted to run better. Faster. Stronger. I wanted proof that all the training was translating into improvement.\nThis time, I even tried something different. I deliberately started much slower than usual, hoping it would leave me with more energy towards the end. I imagined myself finishing stronger instead of simply surviving the final kilometres.\nBut it did not work that way.\nBy the end, I felt just as depleted as always — just as empty, just as done. Afterwards, I found myself wondering whether the marathon distance will always break me down like this, no matter how carefully I pace it.\nMy coach gave me the entire week off afterwards. No running. No strength training. No walks. Just rest.\nI cannot even remember the last time I stopped completely.\nAnd physically, the rest helped. I slept late. I recovered. By the time I returned to the track this morning, my body felt ready to move again. Mentally, though, I am not sure I recovered at all.\nA friend checked in on Friday and asked whether both my body and mentality were recovering. I replied that my body definitely was, but that I was not so sure about my mentality yet.\nUnderneath all of this sits a fear I do not really know how to admit out loud: what if I never improve again? What if this is the point where things slowly start going backwards instead of forwards? What if no amount of training or hard work will ever help again? How do I keep going then?\nI do not know the answer to that yet.\nMaybe marathon running is simply meant to humble you. I know improvement is not linear. Maybe endurance is not only about learning how to keep moving through physical exhaustion, but also learning how to continue through disappointment.\nAnd perhaps that, too, is part of the marathon.\n","permalink":"/blog/the-mental-marathon/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWhy is it that lately, whenever I sit down to write this newsletter, I feel like I have nothing to say?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhich is absurd, really, because something objectively amazing happened these past two weeks: I completed my fifth marathon, well within the cutoff.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI should be proud. I should be celebrating.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, I came home disappointed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot because something went wrong. But because, somewhere deep down, I had hoped for more. And I am a fan of setting goals, but it always carries the risk of not reaching them, which can be disappointing. I wanted to run better. Faster. Stronger. I wanted proof that all the training was translating into improvement.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Mental Marathon"},{"content":"There have been so many signs lately that I am growing older much faster than I want to. And I am already feeling a bit insecure about it because I am trying to grow my grey out\u0026hellip; again. It is currently at that horrible stage where it is so tempting to just go colour it.\nWe were celebrating my 45th birthday this past weekend, seeing as I am going to be in Cape Town for the remainder of this coming week, and I decided to have a glass of wine. Boy, that did not go down well. I have officially reached the age where any alcohol creates havoc with my sleep and HRV.\nI also ran Cross Country this past weekend, and my youngest son joined me. Afterwards, he was looking for our times on Peak Timing and could not find my result on the system. Turns out he was looking in the wrong age group. I have obviously moved on to the 45–50 age group now. Can you believe it?\nBut do you know the sign that hit me the hardest these past two weeks?\nMy eldest son travelled to Nigeria to compete in the African Continental Track Cycling Championships. I know one of the main goals as a parent is to raise independent children. But do you know how hard it hits when you realise that your child can actually get on an aeroplane and travel internationally without you needing to sign anything? He does not even need his birth certificate anymore to travel.\nAnd he is just the first of my children to be able to do that.\nOne by one, they are going to fly — some literally — and spread their wings until they have all gone. And while it makes me incredibly proud, it is also very scary.\nGrowing old is a privilege denied to many. It is the realising and noticing it part that feels scary.\nBut in the meantime, I also have to continue living for myself and chasing my own hopes and dreams. It is race week! This upcoming Sunday, I will be running my fifth marathon. I am hoping things will go superdly well, please hold thumbs for me.\n","permalink":"/blog/one-by-one-they-fly/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThere have been so many signs lately that I am growing older much faster than I want to. And I am already feeling a bit insecure about it because I am trying to grow my grey out\u0026hellip; again. It is currently at that horrible stage where it is so tempting to just go colour it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe were celebrating my 45th birthday this past weekend, seeing as I am going to be in Cape Town for the remainder of this coming week, and I decided to have a glass of wine. Boy, that did not go down well. I have officially reached the age where any alcohol creates havoc with my sleep and HRV.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"One by One, They Fly"},{"content":"I was sitting in a meeting two weeks ago, helping plan the menu for a matric farewell.\nAt one point, I joked that at least this isn’t an evening where we have to force vegetables onto anyone’s plate… but we should probably have a few options besides just a salad.\nSo I asked what else we could include.\nThe suggestions were: potatoes. Corn.\nAnd then… nothing.\nIt wasn’t wrong. It just felt limited.\nBecause somewhere along the line, my idea of “normal” changed.\nThese days, I cook broccoli, green beans, baby marrows, eggplant, asparagus, butternut, leeks, gemsquash, carrots, and brusselsprouts (just to name a few) — all things that used to feel unfamiliar. Now they’re just part of life.\nBut in that meeting, I hesitated to suggest them. Not because they’re strange. But because I didn’t want to be strange.\nThe truth is, I’ve built a bit of a strange little world for myself.\nI wake up at 4:00.\nI train for marathons.\nI run most days.\nI don’t drink alcohol.\nI try to eat well.\nI go to bed at 20:00.\nTo me, it’s normal. To most people, it really isn’t.\nAnd I feel that sometimes — in small conversations, in the way people react, in the things that go unsaid but hang in the air anyway.\nThere’s still a part of me that wants to fit in. To not stand out. To not have to explain why this life makes sense to me.\nBut then I wonder…\nHow often are the people we’re trying to fit in with also the ones quietly keeping us where we used to be?\nNot on purpose. Just by what feels familiar.\nAnd how easily we shrink parts of ourselves to match that.\nSo maybe it matters that we each have a space somewhere — even a small one — where we don’t have to do that.\nWhere waking up at 4:00 isn’t strange.\nWhere running 50+ kilometres a week doesn’t need explaining.\nWhere eating vegetables isn’t a personality trait.\nWhere your normal can just be normal.\nFor me, this newsletter is one of those spaces. And I hope you have a space like that too.\n","permalink":"/blog/my-strange-little-world/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI was sitting in a meeting two weeks ago, helping plan the menu for a matric farewell.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt one point, I joked that at least this isn’t an evening where we have to force vegetables onto anyone’s plate… but we should probably have a few options besides just a salad.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo I asked what else we could include.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe suggestions were: potatoes. Corn.\u003cbr\u003e\nAnd then… nothing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt wasn’t wrong. It just felt limited.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"My Strange Little World"},{"content":"I’m in the peak of marathon training at the moment, and it’s hard. This past weekend I hurt my foot — nothing major, I hope. And that’s been frustrating. Not just because of the interruption, but because of how quickly my mind goes to: “You messed this up.”\nAs if one small thing undoes weeks of consistency.\nIt made me realise how easily I slip into thinking: “I’m bad at this.”\nFor example, there was a time I thought I was bad at race nutrition. I’d forget to eat, pack too much, or pack too little or the wrong things, or I’d go by feel, or I’d just not want to take a gel when I was supposed to. It felt inconsistent and out of control.\nThen my coach said something simple: approach your nutrition with the same discipline as your training. I.e., have a plan, and stick to it — regardless of how you feel in the moment.\nThe plan wasn’t perfect; it’s still not. I changed it often as I figured out what worked for me. I’m still experimenting and changing it. But that is actually not the point. The shift happened when I stopped relying on how I felt and started going into a run with a plan. And suddenly, I wasn’t that “bad at nutrition” anymore.\nWhen I think about it, I do this in other areas too. These newsletters, for example. I have a reminder set on my phone for every second Friday to start writing my newsletter. The plan is simple: reflect on the past two weeks, pick something that stood out, and start. I don’t wait for inspiration.\nAnd my training works the same way. I don’t negotiate with it daily. I trust the plan, which I have my coach to thank for, and I show up.\nSo maybe discipline isn’t something that you either have or don’t. Maybe it’s something much more practical.\nMaybe it’s the shift from:\n“I’m bad at this”\nto\n“As long as I can plan it, I can do it.”\nAnd that feels like a much more useful place to start.\n","permalink":"/blog/as-long-as-i-can-plan-it/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI’m in the peak of marathon training at the moment, and it’s hard. This past weekend I hurt my foot — nothing major, I hope. And that’s been frustrating. Not just because of the interruption, but because of how quickly my mind goes to: \u003cem\u003e“You messed this up.”\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs if one small thing undoes weeks of consistency.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt made me realise how easily I slip into thinking: \u003cem\u003e“I’m bad at this.”\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"As Long As I Can Plan It"},{"content":"I’ve recently increased the weights I use for my strength training.\nThey’re not the kind you can quickly adjust — changing them is a bit of a mission. And while it does feel good to know I’ve progressed enough that my old weights became too easy… these new ones are hard.\nProperly hard.\nHard enough that I’ve noticed something I don’t love: I’ve started avoiding my strength sessions.\nWhich feels a bit ridiculous, because this is exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it?\nMy husband keeps saying I did the right thing — that fewer sets with heavier weights are better than more sets with lighter ones. And I mean… that probably makes sense.\nBut at the same time, I keep wondering:\nSurely doing something is better than doing nothing? What’s the point of the “better” option if it makes you not want to show up at all?\nI don’t quite have an answer yet.\nWhat I do know is that this has made me think (again) about motivation and discipline. All those things we like to believe will carry us through the hard parts.\nBecause if I’m honest, I don’t think I’m a very motivated person. And I also don’t think anyone is motivated all the time anyway.\nBut I do think I’m quite disciplined, and I care about the kind of person I’m trying to be.\nAnd if that person is someone who shows up, even when things feel a bit uncomfortable… and happens to have toned, strong arms, then I guess this is part of it. Even if that means picking up the heavier weights.\nDo you always wait until you feel like it? If so, what do you think all the time spent waiting for motivation to show up has stolen from you?\n","permalink":"/blog/when-better-gets-harder/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI’ve recently increased the weights I use for my strength training.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey’re not the kind you can quickly adjust — changing them is a bit of a mission. And while it does feel good to know I’ve progressed enough that my old weights became too easy… these new ones are hard.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProperly hard.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHard enough that I’ve noticed something I don’t love: I’ve started avoiding my strength sessions.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhich feels a bit ridiculous, because this is exactly what I wanted, wasn’t it?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"When Better Gets Harder"},{"content":"For someone who likes plans, certainty, and clear direction, the past few weeks have felt particularly uncomfortable.\nMy daughter hasn’t been well, and we still don’t have clear answers. Maybe it’s nothing. Actually, it’s highly unlikely that it’s nothing; we simply don’t know how serious it is yet — and that uncertainty has a way of sitting heavily in the background of everything else.\nI’ve realised how much I rely on things being measurable, definable, and predictable. I like knowing what I’m dealing with and what comes next. Not knowing feels like standing still without a map.\nAnd perhaps that’s why, lately, I haven’t felt particularly reflective. The only thing that has stirred any real thoughts was something our coach shared recently:\nFitness does not equal speed.\nI understand that. I really do.\nBut at the same time, I can’t help noticing that speed is still what we mostly use to measure fitness. Metrics like VO₂ max and VDOT — the numbers many of us track so closely — are ultimately based on how fast we run. Even when other factors are considered, speed remains central to how fitness is quantified.\nAnd that can be frustrating.\nBecause despite consistent training over years — strength work, track sessions, strides, all the things we’re “supposed” to do — my speed hasn’t really improved. My watch still gives me the same VO₂ max it did years ago. My VDOT hasn’t meaningfully changed.\nIt’s hard for me not to feel like I’m standing still.\nWhich is why I hold onto a memory from about fifteen months ago.\nI was admitted to the hospital after a spider bite that had to be surgically opened and drained. Before the procedure, as part of the routine questions, I was asked whether I exercised. I said that I run.\nAfterwards, the surgeon told me something I’ve not since forgotten.\nApparently, while I was in the theatre, the staff became quite concerned because my resting heart rate was so low (like in the thirties low). They thought something might be wrong. The doctor and anaesthetist had to reassure them that there was no issue — that my heart rate was simply low because I was very fit.\nShe later told me that she could not recall having a patient as fit as I was. Which to me was the nicest thing anyone has ever told me. The story must’ve made an impact on her as she told it to me again at my follow-up.\nIn a world where my fitness often feels defined — and limited — by numbers on a watch, that moment stands out.\nBecause there were no metrics in that room. No pace, no VO₂ max, no VDOT. And I wasn’t awake to plead my case either.\nAnd yet, my fitness was undeniable.\nIt makes me wonder how often we rely on measurements that only tell part of the story.\nWe want numbers because they give us certainty. They make things feel controlled and understandable. But not everything that matters fits neatly into something we can track or quantify.\nRight now, with my daughter, we don’t yet have clear answers. There are no definitive numbers to hold onto. And that is incredibly difficult for someone like me.\nBut perhaps this is the same lesson, just a different context.\nNot everything real is measurable. And numbers don’t always fully reflect reality.\nI still check my watch. I still wish my speed would improve. And I still struggle with uncertainty. But I’m starting to realise that sometimes, the truth exists — even when the numbers don’t show it.\nWhat in your life is still true… even when it doesn’t measure as that?\n","permalink":"/blog/what-is-real/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eFor someone who likes plans, certainty, and clear direction, the past few weeks have felt particularly uncomfortable.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy daughter hasn’t been well, and we still don’t have clear answers. Maybe it’s nothing. Actually, it’s highly unlikely that it’s nothing; we simply don’t know how serious it is yet — and that uncertainty has a way of sitting heavily in the background of everything else.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI’ve realised how much I rely on things being measurable, definable, and predictable. I like knowing what I’m dealing with and what comes next. Not knowing feels like standing still without a map.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What Is Real?"},{"content":"After running my fourth marathon just more than a week ago, I expected to have so much to say.\nInstead, there’s a strange quiet.\nWhere is the neat little story about perseverance, grit, and the magic of race day?\nI don’t have it.\nInstead, I find myself wondering whether signing up for two marathons so close together was actually a good idea. It probably wasn’t. At the time, it felt exciting. Ambitious. Like something my future self would thank me for.\nRight now, I’m not so sure.\nBut I am in it now. There’s no turning back. The next marathon is just under eleven weeks away.\nWhat makes it harder is the strange feeling that everyone else who ran a marathon the same weekend I did seems to have bounced back already. My Strava feed is full of people running again as if they never ran a marathon in the first place.\nMeanwhile, although better than the first few days, my legs are still negotiating with gravity, and my motivation feels a little… muted.\nWhy is recovery so hard for me? And perhaps the bigger question: why don’t I have more to say?\nRunning a marathon is not a small thing. It’s months of training, early mornings, long runs, doubts, and tiny victories along the way. Crossing the finish line should feel like something to celebrate.\nBut right now I don’t quite feel the celebration. And I’m not sure why.\nMaybe it’s the fatigue that lingers longer than expected. Maybe it’s knowing there’s another marathon looming so soon that this one didn’t quite get the space it deserved. Or maybe sometimes the emotional processing of a marathon takes longer than the physical recovery.\nPerhaps that feeling is worth unpacking. Or perhaps not. My expectations are probably all wrong again. They usually are.\nPerhaps sometimes the most honest thing is to acknowledge the strange quiet. Maybe the words will come later.\nFor now, the only clear thing is this: recovery first, curiosity second, and then — slowly — the road back to marathon training for the next one.\nHow do you deal with an anti-climax?\n","permalink":"/blog/a-strange-quiet/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAfter running my fourth marathon just more than a week ago, I expected to have so much to say.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, there’s a strange quiet.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhere is the neat little story about perseverance, grit, and the magic of race day?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don’t have it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, I find myself wondering whether signing up for two marathons so close together was actually a good idea. It probably wasn’t. At the time, it felt exciting. Ambitious. Like something my future self would thank me for.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"A Strange Quiet"},{"content":"It’s race week! On Saturday, I’m running my next marathon.\nThe other day, I saw an Instagram reel that said:\nIt’s always “Why do you run so much?”\nand never “What mile can I meet you at with snacks?”\nI laughed. Because — true story.\nAt the start of this year, while discussing leave, I mentioned that I’m planning to run a marathon at the end of February. A colleague looked at me and asked, quite sincerely:\n“Why? Just… why?”\nIt’s a fair question.\nIf you don’t run, it can seem baffling. Painful. Time-consuming. Unnecessary. My life is already full. I’m a wife and a mum of four. At home, I try to be the best wife and mum I can be. There are responsibilities. Logistics. Worries.\nAt work, I’m a developer. There too, although I do love to be one, I try to be the best developer I can be. More responsibilities. More problem-solving. More worries.\nMy days are full of roles.\nBut when I go out for a run — for an hour, sometimes three — I am not a mum.\nI am not a wife.\nI am not a developer.\nI am just me.\nNo one needs anything from me out there. No lunchboxes. No deadlines. No decisions beyond pace and direction. Just breath and rhythm and the steady sound of my own feet hitting the road.\nBut if I’m honest, that alone wouldn’t be enough.\nBecause if I’m given this small, sacred pocket of time just to be me, then I feel almost obligated to use it well. To grow. To stretch. To become stronger — not only physically, but mentally.\nSo I set goals.\nI sign up for races.\nI work toward things that scare me a little.\nNot because my life isn’t full enough.\nBut because growth keeps me from stagnating. Because progress — however small — keeps things interesting. Because discovering what I’m capable of reminds me that I am more than the roles I fill.\nAnd that is why I run.\nSo perhaps the question isn’t “Why?”\nMaybe it’s:\nWhy not?\n","permalink":"/blog/just-me/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIt’s race week! On Saturday, I’m running my next marathon.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe other day, I saw an \u003ca href="/%22https://www.instagram.com/reels/DU5fCNjjNNm//%22/u003eInstagram/index.html" reel\u003c/a\u003e that said:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s always “Why do you run so much?”\u003cbr\u003e\nand never “What mile can I meet you at with snacks?”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI laughed. Because — true story.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt the start of this year, while discussing leave, I mentioned that I’m planning to run a marathon at the end of February. A colleague looked at me and asked, quite sincerely:\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Just Me"},{"content":"My foot caught on a lip of uneven concrete, and before I could even comprehend what was happening, I was down.\nThere is a specific, jarring shock to falling at forty-four. It’s not quite like falling as a kid, which was already bad for me; it’s a heavy, bone-rattling impact that leaves you winded on the side of a busy road, traffic blurring past while you check for blood and broken pride. I sat there for quite some time, brushing grit off my palms, wondering why I do this at all.\nI had honestly forgotten how hard marathon training is. Much like I had forgotten childbirth or those first blurred months with a newborn, your brain protects you by scrubbing the intensity from your memory. We forget the bone-deep exhaustion until we’re back in the thick of it. One day, this will be a story I tell. Right now, it’s just something I’m trying to survive.\nTake the weekend before last: back-to-back half marathons. Saturday was fine, but Sunday was a lesson in humility. Eight kilometres in, my legs already felt like they were made of lead. I might have walked more than I intended to, but I didn’t stop. I finished what I started, and I am proud of that.\nThe fall on the pavement was just the universe’s way of doubling down on the lesson. It’s a reminder that “trying” isn’t a clean, linear path. It’s messy. It’s painful. And sometimes it looks like a grown woman picking herself up off the pavement on a Thursday morning. Training doesn’t just test your heart rate; it tests your willingness to be humbled — and your resolve to get back up. Literally.\nI wouldn’t trade this season for an easier one, though. Even if back-to-back half marathons are difficult, and falling is sore. The easy seasons don’t leave you with much to say. This one? It’s going to be a hell of a story.\nWhat does “keep trying” look like in your life right now?\nLess than three weeks until 2026’s first marathon. Let’s go.\n","permalink":"/blog/what-keep-trying-looks-like/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eMy foot caught on a lip of uneven concrete, and before I could even comprehend what was happening, I was down.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a specific, jarring shock to falling at forty-four. It’s not quite like falling as a kid, which was already bad for me; it’s a heavy, bone-rattling impact that leaves you winded on the side of a busy road, traffic blurring past while you check for blood and broken pride. I sat there for quite some time, brushing grit off my palms, wondering why I do this at all.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What “Keep Trying” Looks Like"},{"content":"Wow, this year has started with a bang.\nMy father-in-law passed away the day before my husband and I were due to return to work after our December and January leave. Although he had been ill for some time, it was still a huge shock for all of us. I have already lost both my parents, but for my husband, this is his first experience of losing a parent, and it’s been heartbreaking to watch him go through this. And don’t let me start on what it’s been like for our children.\nReturning to work brought a different kind of loss. On my very first day back, we were told that a major project — one we had been working on for the past four years in collaboration with another company — had been cancelled. I’m still sitting with the grief over the work, effort, and relationships that came to a sudden end.\nLess than a week later, another shock followed. A colleague of nearly nine years, with almost thirty years of experience at the company, announced her retirement. I have been asked to take over her responsibilities\u0026hellip;\nWhat a way to start a new year.\nAmidst all of this, I ran my first 32km race. I approached it as a training run rather than something to race, but I was still nervous—especially as I hadn’t run that distance in a long time. To my relief, it went well. I felt strong for almost the entire run.\nAt times, it feels as though the carpet has been pulled out from under my feet. But I am a long-distance runner, and if I’ve learned one thing from distance running, it’s to keep steady and not panic when things suddenly become unsteady. I remind myself that growth rarely happens in comfort zones, and perhaps, in time, all of this will make sense.\nDespite all the chaos, marathon training is progressing well. In a way, sticking to the training routine gives me the structure I need right now. Less than five weeks left to go!\nI hope your year has started more gently than mine. I would love to hear how 2026 has been treating you thus far.\n","permalink":"/blog/when-everything-changes-at-once/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWow, this year has started with a bang.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy father-in-law passed away the day before my husband and I were due to return to work after our December and January leave. Although he had been ill for some time, it was still a huge shock for all of us. I have already lost both my parents, but for my husband, this is his first experience of losing a parent, and it’s been heartbreaking to watch him go through this. And don’t let me start on what it’s been like for our children.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"When Everything Changes at Once"},{"content":"I took a long break from writing. It was necessary. It was good. But I’m ready to start again — carefully, intentionally, and hopeful that I’ll find the rhythm I managed to hold over the last two years.\n2025 wasn\u0026rsquo;t a year of big ambitions. I stepped back from marathons to focus on shorter distances and gave cross-country a try. My only real target was a mileage goal: 2,600 km.\nThen came the curveball: Insomnia.\nBy August, my energy had disappeared. I lowered my goal to 2,500 km — still an ambitious ask for someone who felt permanently depleted. On December 29th, I did the math:\n“Just two days left. It looks like I’ll miss my goal by 12 km.”\nIt stung. So close, yet so far.\nOn the morning of December 31st, I finished what was supposed to be my final run of the year. I came home, refuelled, and stared at the gap: 12.7 km remained between me and my promise. I realised I couldn’t leave it there.\nI messaged my coach: “Don’t call me crazy\u0026hellip; I’m going back out for a second run.”\nTwo long runs in one day are no joke. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done — not because of the distance or pace, but because of the exhaustion. But I finished. I honoured the promise.\nFor 2026, the metrics are changing.\nI’m taking a break from chasing a total distance. My goals are simpler: train well and fix my sleep. I have two marathons planned. If PBs follow, I’ll welcome them — not as targets chased, but as outcomes earned.\nHere’s to another year of doing things I’m not very good at, but that are very good for me.\nI’m ditching the Strava goals for a bit this year. What’s one metric, if any, you’re letting go of in 2026?\n","permalink":"/blog/a-promise-kept-and-a-new-way-forward/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI took a long break from writing. It was necessary. It was good. But I’m ready to start again — carefully, intentionally, and hopeful that I’ll find the rhythm I managed to hold over the last two years.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e2025 wasn\u0026rsquo;t a year of big ambitions. I stepped back from marathons to focus on shorter distances and gave cross-country a try. My only real target was a mileage goal: 2,600 km.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"A Promise Kept (and a new way forward)"},{"content":"Way back when I wrote my learner’s licence test, things worked differently: you first wrote the exam, and then you did your eye test. I remember sitting down for the eye test, relieved that I had passed, only for the instructor to look at me with a seriousness I didn’t expect.\n“I’m sorry… I can’t give you your licence.”\nI felt my stomach drop. “Why?”\n“Because you cannot see.”\nI was seventeen when I learned that I had been walking around in a world I couldn’t see clearly. I still remember putting on my first pair of glasses and staring at the trees outside. I stood there completely still because for the first time in my life, I could make out individual leaves. I had genuinely believed everyone saw trees the way I did: soft green smudges. It never once occurred to me that my “normal” wasn’t actually normal.\nTwo weeks ago, now at forty-four, I felt that same jolt.\nAs many of you know, this has been a difficult year with my sleep. This year handed me a gigantic lemon. When I sat with the sleep specialist to work through everything again, she stopped me mid-sentence and asked:\n“Do you know that most people can lie down and fall asleep? No tossing. No fighting. They just… sleep.”\nI didn’t. I truly didn’t. I’ve watched my husband fall asleep in minutes, but I always assumed he was built differently — blessed, gifted, lucky, something.\nSuddenly, I could see all the moments in my life where I thought I was the problem:\nWhen race-day nerves prevented me from sleeping the night before, my coach would tell me that lying down still with my eyes closed was just as good; I should try that. I thought, “That doesn’t work for me.”\nAll the nights I lay awake thinking I just needed to push harder, be calmer, be better.\nAnd then this specialist looked at me and named something I’ve lived with for years without recognising: restless legs. A quiet, constant condition I had folded into my idea of “normal.” How many times have doctors asked me this year if I have restless legs, and I have confidently responded that I don’t?\nMany times.\nIt reminds me of all the years my sister and I believed that if we just lost weight, life could continue normally, as we were used to it, afterwards. Except our normal wasn’t normal at all.\nWe’ve only just started down the path of treating RLS, and at this stage, it’s pretty much trial and error (more error, it feels like). Hopefully, I’ll have better news in the new year.\nAnd so, with this final newsletter of 2025, as I prepare for a proper rest, this is what I want to leave you with:\nQuestion everything.\nNever assume your normal is the world’s normal.\nThere might be a clearer view waiting — one you don’t even know you’re missing yet.\nWishing you a gentle Christmas if you\u0026rsquo;re celebrating, and a new year that brings clarity, rest, and small, surprising miracles.\nSee you in 2026 — my first year of tackling two marathons in one year. Eeek\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"/blog/question-everything/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWay back when I wrote my learner’s licence test, things worked differently: you first wrote the exam, and then you did your eye test. I remember sitting down for the eye test, relieved that I had passed, only for the instructor to look at me with a seriousness I didn’t expect.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“I’m sorry… I can’t give you your licence.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI felt my stomach drop. “Why?”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Because you cannot see.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was seventeen when I learned that I had been walking around in a world I couldn’t see clearly. I still remember putting on my first pair of glasses and staring at the trees outside. I stood there completely still because for the first time in my life, I could make out individual leaves. I had genuinely believed everyone saw trees the way I did: soft green smudges. It never once occurred to me that my “normal” wasn’t actually normal.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Question Everything"},{"content":"This past week, our weather hasn’t been great. On Tuesday, I got properly soaked during my track session, and afterwards, I had to rush straight home — no coffee, no lingering, just wet shoes and that quiet frustration you feel when the day starts too fast.\nThen on Sunday morning, when it was time for my long run, it was pouring again. And for once, instead of pushing myself out the door, I realised I actually had the space to pause. So I decided to get another cup of coffee, catch up on some speeches I am writing for next year, check the weather later, and told myself that I’d run from home if the day allowed it.\nThe weather didn’t really improve… so I postponed again.\nMeanwhile, many of my friends went out and ran the local race anyway. They showed up in the rain, and I could feel their discipline oozing from a distance through my phone.\nAnd that familiar guilt settled in — that little voice that says you should have gone too.\nIn addition to the weather, my eldest daughter hasn’t been feeling well. She was the reason I couldn\u0026rsquo;t stay for coffee after track last week, as she had an operation last Monday evening and was still in the hospital Tuesday morning. She’s recovering, but she has another one coming next week. Even so, she still managed to make me laugh.\nShe: “It’s strange how the operation affected my sleep. I just can’t sleep in anymore. I wake up early every morning.”\nMe: “How early were you awake today?”\nShe: “From 7h00!”\nI couldn’t help smiling. And in that tiny moment — where she was wondering about waking up “early” when she can sleep in because of exams — something softened in me.\nBecause I suddenly remembered that my “normal” isn’t everyone’s normal. Waking at four to run feels routine to me. Feeling guilty when I don’t? Eeeek, also routine. But for her, seven is early. And she feels no shame, no pressure, no guilt attached to it at all.\nI may need to relearn that.\nMost days, I try my best. Maybe more than I realise. And on the rare days when life permits me to shift things, to breathe a bit, to not run through a downpour just to prove something to myself — maybe that’s a gift, not a failure.\nBecause the truth is simple: the more willing I am to adapt, the more sustainable this whole lifestyle becomes.\nI did catch up on my run yesterday morning. The rain held off — just, just. The day was gentle. And it reminded me that sometimes things still fall into place, especially when we give them a little space.\nWhen was the last time you let yourself adjust your plans without feeling guilty about it?\n","permalink":"/blog/grace-is-a-strength/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis past week, our weather hasn’t been great. On Tuesday, I got properly soaked during my track session, and afterwards, I had to rush straight home — no coffee, no lingering, just wet shoes and that quiet frustration you feel when the day starts too fast.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen on Sunday morning, when it was time for my long run, it was pouring again. And for once, instead of pushing myself out the door, I realised I actually had the space to pause. So I decided to get another cup of coffee, catch up on some speeches I am writing for next year, check the weather later, and told myself that I’d run from home if the day allowed it.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Grace is a Strength"},{"content":"Can you feel the end of the year approaching? I can certainly feel it, and that feeling usually gets me thinking about goals again — not just big ones like marathons or life milestones, but also the small, steady ones that quietly shape who I become. As you might’ve noticed by now, I usually write my newsletters about the one thing that stood out most to me in the past two weeks, and this time it was a moment that reminded me exactly why goals matter so much.\nThe other day, I had the privilege of pacing one of our Couch-to-5K runners through her first 5km without stopping. She did so well — I am incredibly proud of her. But what really struck me was seeing her pride in herself. It reminded me how easily we, as runners, take for granted something as simple as being able to run 5km continuously. Yet there was a time every one of us couldn’t do it, and now it’s so routine that we forget it was once a dream.\nOn the one side, although it’s sad, I think the purpose of working towards goals is for them to become “everyday”, and on the other side, I think it is amazing that we can grow so much to get to such a point. Being goal-oriented isn’t just about chasing medals or ticking boxes — it’s about growth. Outside of my running and cycling friends, I rarely see people setting themselves tangible goals and working consistently toward them, which I think is a pity. For me, that structure gives life rhythm. My goals keep me grounded when things feel uncertain and pull me forward when motivation dips. And they have me thinking in November that there is still something left to accomplish this year!\nI didn’t have a race goal this year, but I did set a distance goal. Looking back, and although there were times I thought it was a stupid goal, I’m certain that’s what kept me running many kilometres I might otherwise have skipped. Having a goal — even a quiet one — changes how we show up.\nAnd now, as the year ends, I can feel that familiar restlessness in the air. It’s the season of wrapping things up and taking stock. I’m trying to do the same — to close out my goals well and think ahead to what I want to build next. I’ve just entered my next marathon, and with less than four months to go, I suddenly find myself back in marathon training again. After a year of focusing on shorter distances, it feels exciting and a little intimidating.\nThat’s the magic of goals, though. They don’t just move us forward — they also help us find our way back.\nWhat are your goals for the new year?\n","permalink":"/blog/goal-oriented/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eCan you feel the end of the year approaching? I can certainly feel it, and that feeling usually gets me thinking about goals again — not just big ones like marathons or life milestones, but also the small, steady ones that quietly shape who I become. As you might’ve noticed by now, I usually write my newsletters about the one thing that stood out most to me in the past two weeks, and this time it was a moment that reminded me exactly why goals matter so much.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Goal-Oriented"},{"content":"Stepping into our house the other day, I caught the tail end of a conversation between my husband and our youngest son. They were discussing some computer game he was playing, and the sentence I overheard—completely out of context—was: “If everything has priority, then nothing has priority.”\nA revelation and a half for a thirteen-year-old, I thought. But then again, this is the same child who, a few years ago, at a resort displaying the sign “We’re proudly cashless,” asked, “Is that just a fancy way of saying they’re poor?” So I’ve come to expect his bright little flashes of insight.\nStill, that line stuck with me, and I thought it appropriate to share it for this week’s letter: If everything has priority, then nothing has priority.\nHow easily we forget that in our daily scramble to keep everything afloat, please everyone, and do it all. I can’t help wondering how much of our constant busyness is really about that all-or-nothing mindset that whispers, if I can’t do it all or tick all the boxes right away, I’ve failed.\nI’ve noticed that when I start to feel like I’m not moving forward, the best antidote isn’t doing more, but doing less on purpose; picking just one or two things to focus on for a while. It’s like a return to basics—or perhaps more truthfully, a quiet return to what’s actually important.\nNot everything can matter equally. Some things are simply meant to wait their turn. An inability to prioritise will eventually lead to being overwhelmed, burnt out, or demotivated.\nI once had a business analyst colleague who refused to use the word priorities. She insisted there can only ever be one priority—that the noun has no true plural. I often found being forced to pick a priority item a bit ridiculous, but perhaps she had the right idea all along.\nThe important question then, I suppose, is this:\nWhat is the most important thing you should focus on next?\n","permalink":"/blog/when-everything-has-priority/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eStepping into our house the other day, I caught the tail end of a conversation between my husband and our youngest son. They were discussing some computer game he was playing, and the sentence I overheard—completely out of context—was: \u003cem\u003e“If everything has priority, then nothing has priority.”\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA revelation and a half for a thirteen-year-old, I thought. But then again, this is the same child who, a few years ago, at a resort displaying the sign \u003cem\u003e“We’re proudly cashless,”\u003c/em\u003e asked, “Is that just a fancy way of saying they’re poor?” So I’ve come to expect his bright little flashes of insight.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"When Everything Has Priority"},{"content":"Now and then, I hit a wall. It feels like I’ve tried everything, thought through every angle, and still nothing works. The problem before me becomes heavy and immovable — and I feel stuck.\nI’ve learned that the way out isn’t always to push harder. Sometimes, it’s to speak. Out loud.\nA colleague many years ago showed me this in the quirkiest way: he kept a tiny rubber duck glued to the top of his computer screen. Whenever he got stuck on a problem and couldn’t find a colleague to listen, he’d explain it to the duck — a strange thing to witness! More often than not, he\u0026rsquo;d already uncovered the answer by the time he’d finished talking it through.\nMy husband and I borrowed the habit. Both of us being software engineers and sharing an office meant we had the perfect setup to bounce problems off each other. Whenever one of us talked ourselves into a breakthrough, the other would respond with a playful “Quack! Quack!” Silly, yes — but these are the moments we’ll remember one day.\nLast week, I found myself in that same place again — just not stuck on a programming problem. Two rough nights of poor sleep, after weeks of doing well, had me spiralling: what if my cycle of insomnia is back? I felt like I’d already tried everything and had no options left.\nSo I visited my running coach. Not to demand a solution, just to have someone listen while I talked it through. By the end of our conversation, we didn’t land on a miracle cure, but we did come up with two new things to try. I no longer felt pressed against the wall. And, more importantly, I no longer felt like I was facing it alone.\nThere is real power in speaking a problem out loud and walking someone else through your thoughts and reasoning. It not only creates space and perspective to unravel the knot, but it also builds connection and draws others into your world — even when the topic feels vulnerable.\nDo you think it’s important to talk through difficult situations you ’re facing with someone else? Is that something you allow yourself to do? And if not, what makes it hard?\n","permalink":"/blog/asking-for-a-quack-quack/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eNow and then, I hit a wall. It feels like I’ve tried everything, thought through every angle, and still nothing works. The problem before me becomes heavy and immovable — and I feel stuck.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI’ve learned that the way out isn’t always to push harder. Sometimes, it’s to speak. Out loud.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA colleague many years ago showed me this in the quirkiest way: he kept a tiny rubber duck glued to the top of his computer screen. Whenever he got stuck on a problem and couldn’t find a colleague to listen, he’d explain it to the duck — a strange thing to witness! More often than not, he\u0026rsquo;d already uncovered the answer by the time he’d finished talking it through.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Asking for a “Quack! Quack!”"},{"content":"MCM runs a couch-to-5k program, usually twice a year. The idea is simple but powerful: take people from the couch to running 5 km in just eight weeks.\nThe latest program kicked off recently, and on their first Saturday, those of us at track got to meet some of the new group. That morning, one woman arrived early. She didn’t want to walk alone, so I offered to walk with her. At first, I set off too fast, but soon slowed to her pace. Just starting is a tricky thing; I’ve forgotten what that feels like.\nWe chatted as we walked. For me, it was a refreshing warm-up. For her — new, unfit, and often out of breath — it was a real challenge.\nHalfway through, I looked over at her and thought: That was me, eight years ago.\nBack then, I could hardly walk 30 minutes without stopping. Running felt impossible. I weighed around 130 kg when I started, and I had to learn everything from scratch — first walking, then running.\nThat memory hit me hard. I often feel like I’m not making progress, but looking back reminded me how far I’ve come. I’m nowhere near the person I was eight years ago. The days can feel long and difficult, but the years are short — and change happens in those quiet, steady steps.\nThe truth is: who you are today is not who you have to be forever.\nA friend recently found a notebook from her school days while packing up her house. It was filled with quotes and thoughts her younger self had written down. She remembered keeping those notes, but reading them again, she felt so far removed from that version of herself that she wondered, “Who are you, girl?”\nMaybe that’s the point of life. Our younger selves carried us this far, but we’re meant to grow so much that we hardly recognise them anymore. While it’s normal to look back and see how much has changed, it’s a gift to know it was in the right direction. Isn’t that what we all want?\nDon’t be concerned with how long something will take to achieve; the time will pass anyway. The real concern is:\nTime passing and change are inevitable. Are you working towards becoming the person you want to be?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-person-you-havent-met-yet/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href="/%22https://michellecoachmee.co.za//%22/u003eMCM/u003c/a/u003e/index.html" runs a couch-to-5k program, usually twice a year. The idea is simple but powerful: take people from the couch to running 5 km in just eight weeks.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe latest program kicked off recently, and on their first Saturday, those of us at track got to meet some of the new group. That morning, one woman arrived early. She didn’t want to walk alone, so I offered to walk with her. At first, I set off too fast, but soon slowed to her pace. Just starting is a tricky thing; I’ve forgotten what that feels like.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Person You Haven’t Met Yet"},{"content":"One of my favourite sayings is, “Remember, whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing.” I often use this line whenever I notice someone complaining about a repairable situation but not doing anything about it. I also remind myself of it whenever I feel stuck in a frustrating, ongoing situation.\nIt’s a hard line to hear. The moment I think of it, I can almost hear the “But, but, but…” bubbling up inside me.\nThe truth is, we don’t want to settle, but sometimes we like it when we don’t have to do the changing. When the ball isn’t in our court. If we don’t know what to do or don’t want the responsibility, it’s easier to imagine it sitting in someone else’s hands. Until, of course, they leave it lying there. It was, after all, never their problem\u0026hellip; And then nothing changes.\nThat’s, for example, what happens when you put your weight loss entirely on a dietitian or group leader, or your happiness on your partner. Then, when results don’t come, we can pull the wool over our eyes and say that it’s not due to our own lack of doing something.\nMy struggle with sleep this year feels like it’s touching on this theme. As much as I’ve tried to figure it out, I’ve wanted to hit the ball into someone else’s court and hope they’d solve it for me. But that hasn’t happened. At the moment, I don’t think there is anyone who can help… So here I am, staring at the ball on the ground. And it’s tempting to leave it there and say, “I don’t know what to do anymore; hopefully it will resolve itself.”\nThen last week, when a friend stopped by briefly and I sent a quick thank-you message afterwards, the reply came back: “Missing you.”\nWhat surprised me wasn’t the words, but the thought that rose in me: “Yes, I miss myself too.”\nI miss the version of me who woke up refreshed. Who had enough energy for runs, for work, for family — and even a little left over. Who didn’t have to plan downtime into every single day just to cope.\nMy energy is so precious. But it feels like water in my hands, running out too quickly.\nDo I miss myself enough to pick up that ball again? Yes, I do. I don’t know exactly how I’ll play it, but I know I have to.\nWhich balls have you left lying there, waiting to be picked up again?\n","permalink":"/blog/when-you-miss-yourself/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eOne of my favourite sayings is, \u003cem\u003e“Remember, whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing.”\u003c/em\u003e I often use this line whenever I notice someone complaining about a repairable situation but not doing anything about it. I also remind myself of it whenever I feel stuck in a frustrating, ongoing situation.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s a hard line to hear. The moment I think of it, I can almost hear the \u003cem\u003e“But, but, but…”\u003c/em\u003e bubbling up inside me.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"When You Miss Yourself"},{"content":"Last week, while I was waiting in the car to collect our children from school, my husband sent me a message: “ There is a car I’d like to check out this afternoon.” (We’re looking for a second-hand vehicle to replace his current one, perhaps something our eldest can use while learning to drive.)\nI wasn’t feeling well that day and replied, “ I would love to lie down for a little while after the school run.”\n“ You can still,” he said.\n“ Okay. I’ll set an alarm for when Adri needs to go swim.”\nSince I struggle to fall asleep anyway — or perhaps because I wasn’t feeling well — I forgot to set an alarm. For the first time in many months, though, I actually fell asleep without medication. It was a short nap, but it felt significant. Before I could even register it, my youngest woke me to take her to swimming. I then saw that my youngest son had messaged about fifteen minutes earlier to say he was finished at athletics and needed a lift. Having just woken from a too-short nap, I felt confused, tired, and overwhelmed.\nMeanwhile, my husband had gone off to look at the car, assuming I had everything under control at home. Who can blame him? It’s been a long time since I’ve said, “ I’m going to lie down,” and actually fallen asleep.\nIt wasn’t the best situation… but it got me thinking about making space for what matters, and what it takes to create that space. Maybe it starts with acknowledging what you need, and then having the support to let that space actually happen.\nThe next few months are going to be messy. Resting for two weeks didn’t help my sleep — it’s still poor. I’m back to running, but it does leave me feeling fatigued. The culprit may be my elevated iron levels, which we’re slowly addressing. It’s messy, it’s frustrating, but it’s the deck of cards I have to play.\nWhat last week’s nap has shown me is that making space is rarely tidy. It doesn’t come wrapped in perfect conditions or timing. It comes through missteps, miscommunications, and trying again — and still not getting it right. Maybe that’s the point: space isn’t given, it’s made. Sometimes imperfectly, sometimes clumsily, but made all the same, and not always on the first try.\nWhat do you know you need to make space for, but can’t seem to figure out?\nNews note: My Afrikaans Newsletter\nWriting more in Afrikaans has been on my heart for a while now. I just don’t really know how to go about it. I don’t want to lose my English readers, but I’m also not sure I can manage two pieces every time.\nAt the Afrikaans 100 concert at Hoërskool Randburg, though, I was reminded how important it really is. If I don’t write in Afrikaans myself, my kids probably won’t either… and then probably not their kids, and so it goes on.\nSo I will see how long I can manage to put out two pieces every two weeks. It won’t always be perfect, but it’s better than nothing, and who knows — maybe I’ll get more comfortable with it as I go.\nPlease subscribe to it if you\u0026rsquo;d like to read what I write in my mother tongue.\n","permalink":"/blog/making-space-in-a-messy-middle/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eLast week, while I was waiting in the car to collect our children from school, my husband sent me a message: “ \u003cem\u003eThere is a car I’d like to check out this afternoon.\u003c/em\u003e” (We’re looking for a second-hand vehicle to replace his current one, perhaps something our eldest can use while learning to drive.)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI wasn’t feeling well that day and replied, “ \u003cem\u003eI would love to lie down for a little while after the school run.\u003c/em\u003e”\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Making Space in a Messy Middle"},{"content":"People talk about the love-hate relationship with running (or any pursuit, really) as if the “love” will always outweigh the “hate.” As if that tension is sustainable forever. But what happens when it isn’t? What happens when the hate quietly crowds out the love — not in one dramatic blow, but slowly, through a hundred small disappointments, sore spots, setbacks, unmet hopes?\nWhen all that’s left is the dread of another session, the shame of being slow, the fear of never improving — and the guilt of admitting out loud that I don’t want this anymore?\nThat’s the part no one tells you how to navigate.\nI’ve felt for some time now that I don’t want to run anymore. There. I said it.\nI dread getting up early to run. I hate knowing I won’t hit the paces and be too slow again. I’ve lost the desire to push, to see if I can improve. Mostly because I no longer believe I can improve.\nI don’t know how much of this feeling comes from my poor sleep, or how much this feeling causes my poor sleep. But nothing has helped. So I’ve decided to try the only thing I haven’t yet: rest.\nI’m taking a two-week break from running, and I am just more than a week in already.\nIt might mean I don’t reach my yearly distance goal — and yes, that already makes me feel like a failure. But what else should I try?\nTo help manage the guilt of not running, I made a list of things I think I won’t lose by taking a short break. Things like:\nMy identity as a runner My aerobic base My muscle tone and strength My discipline My resilience Goodness, I hope there’s more\u0026hellip;\nSurely there are things I’ll gain, too. The first thing I’ve noticed already? The mental relief of an empty TrainingPeaks calendar. I didn’t expect that. But the absence of green ticks and daily workouts with target paces feels like a weight lifted.\nI hope that, somehow, properly resting will bring back the love. I hope it helps me find joy in movement again — even if I’m still slow. Even if the only thing that changes is the way I feel about it all.\nBecause it’s all good and well being told that running is a love-hate relationship… until all that’s left is hate.\n","permalink":"/blog/when-hate-is-all-thats-left/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003ePeople talk about the love-hate relationship with running (or any pursuit, really) as if the “love” will always outweigh the “hate.” As if that tension is sustainable forever. But what happens when it isn’t? What happens when the hate quietly crowds out the love — not in one dramatic blow, but slowly, through a hundred small disappointments, sore spots, setbacks, unmet hopes?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen all that’s left is the dread of another session, the shame of being slow, the fear of never improving — and the guilt of admitting out loud that I don’t want this anymore?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"When Hate Is All That’s Left"},{"content":"Last week, I was challenged about the reason behind my consistency when my running partner admitted he hated running 1600m intervals.\n“Why?” I asked.\n“Because I can’t hit the pace set on TrainingPeaks.”\n“But then run them at the best pace you can manage.”\n“Yes, I can do that… but then I won’t get a green tick.”\n“So? Why do you always have to get a green tick?”\n“I guess for the same reason you can’t skip a workout.”\nI laughed. What would I do without straight-shooting friends?\n“Ah, but see — I have a history with obesity. I always fear that if I miss one workout, it’ll turn into two… then three… before I know it, I won’t be running at all.”\nWhen Tamryn took my latest portrait photos earlier this year — the ones I’ve loved using for my recent newsletters — one of her questions during the session was, “What’s your definition of freedom?”\nA difficult question.\nI didn’t have an answer for her then.\nBut now, months later, and reflecting on my conversation last week, I wonder: does freedom not perhaps mean not being afraid?\nIt sounds neat and noble, but what does that say about my need to be consistent? Does it mean I’m not free?\nThen I came across this:\n“Fear is information about what matters to you.\nIf it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be afraid.”\nAnd I thought: Yes, how beautiful. I want things in my life that matter to me.\nSee, there’s a big difference between:\n“I’m afraid of going back to where I was, so I keep showing up with intention,”\nand\n“I’m afraid of going back to where I was, so I never give myself permission to rest.”\nThe one honours my growth.\nThe other holds me hostage.\nPerhaps freedom isn’t fearlessness. Perhaps freedom is living a life rooted in trust — in others AND yourself.\nWhat’s your fear trying to tell you? Are you listening with kindness or obsession?\n","permalink":"/blog/what-fear-tells-me-about-freedom/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eLast week, I was challenged about the reason behind my consistency when my running partner admitted he hated running 1600m intervals.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Why?” I asked.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Because I can’t hit the pace set on TrainingPeaks.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“But then run them at the best pace you can manage.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Yes, I can do that… but then I won’t get a green tick.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“So? Why do you always have to get a green tick?”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“I guess for the same reason you can’t skip a workout.”\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What Fear Tells Me About Freedom"},{"content":"For the past three years, I’ve helped my youngest daughter’s drama teacher write speeches for her students as the new school year approaches. Last year, we worked on eighteen! It’s something I genuinely enjoy. It challenges me not only because I have to come up with debatable arguments from the topics we’re given, but also because I often have to write from a perspective I don’t personally agree with or know much about.\nOne of the speeches I wrote last year argued that “quick solutions are the best solutions.” One of the points I made in that speech was that sometimes the best way to move forward is simply to do something. Just start.\nI’ve noticed this message echoing in my own life recently.\nThis past year, I’ve had trouble sleeping, something you might recall me mentioning before. It’s a big deal to me as I’ve not felt like myself at all, I’ve been exhausted, and I just seem unable to solve it. I’ve tried multiple medications, some more helpful than others. About two weeks ago, the medication I was on, the one that seemed to finally work, suddenly stopped helping, with no clear reason why. While trying to figure out what had happened, I discovered that I had iron overload.\nAfter some research and consultation, I decided to manage it by donating blood. This wasn’t a decision I took lightly, and when the blood bank told me that they had an oversupply of A+ blood and couldn’t accept my donation without a referral letter, I felt defeated and even asked, “So when do I give up?”. Getting the letter wasn’t a problem; I was tired of all the hurdles to jump over.\nLast Friday afternoon, I sat in the donor chair, finally able to do something. And as the blood flowed from my arm, I could feel a quiet sense of relief wash over me. Maybe not because of the act of donating itself, but because I wasn’t sitting still anymore. I wasn’t just waiting and wondering. I had done something. That mental shift alone helped me sleep better that very evening.\nI don’t know if we’re on the right track yet. But I know this: sometimes, the breakthrough isn’t solving the problem — it’s deciding to move.\nThere are times when the bravest thing we can do is keep going in the same direction, holding the line. But there are also times when we need to do something different, even if we don’t know whether it’s the “right” thing. We just need to take a step. Any step. Because motion itself can be healing.\nToday, my Facebook page turns five years old. I still remember pressing “Publish” — heart racing, wondering what I had done? I had sat on the unpublished version for weeks, trying to make everything “just right.” It never was. It still isn’t. It just is — and I love it.\nOver the past five years, I’m proud of my consistency in showing up: online socially, in my running, and through these newsletters. But I’m also proud of the moments when I chose to be brave. When I tried something new or took action toward something uncertain. Those moments, too, have brought purpose, excitement, and a sense of relief.\nWhen was the last time you acted even though you weren’t sure it would work? How did it feel?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-power-of-doing-something/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eFor the past three years, I’ve helped my youngest daughter’s drama teacher write speeches for her students as the new school year approaches. Last year, we worked on eighteen! It’s something I genuinely enjoy. It challenges me not only because I have to come up with debatable arguments from the topics we’re given, but also because I often have to write from a perspective I don’t personally agree with or know much about.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Power of Doing Something"},{"content":"I don’t like wearing my glasses when I run. But I also can’t see without them, and I’ve never been able to get contact lenses into my eyes—so it is what it is, a necessary evil.\nIn winter, it’s even more horrible. And right now, it’s the middle of winter here in South Africa. My glasses fog up in the cold morning air, especially when running track. It’s a constant dance of wiping, adjusting, and squinting through the mist. I keep joking, “Can’t see with them, can’t see without them,” or “I’m going to run into a goalpost soon,” just to keep the annoyance light. But it is an annoyance. One of those problems I can’t fix, but I manage as best I can.\nCertain other things in my life feel the same.\nThree of my biggest “foggy glasses” are perfectionism, impostor syndrome, and not celebrating my successes before rushing off to chase the next goal. I know they’re there. I know they cloud my thinking. Sometimes I manage okay, like a dry summer morning when my lenses stay clear. Other times, like a fogged-up winter run, they slow me down and frustrate me. And no matter how often I wipe them clean, they come back.\nAnd unlike my more tangible running goals, I can’t tick these off a list and solve them once and for all. I can aim for a distance goal and chip away at it week by week. I can train at a specific pace and give it my all. Those things make sense to me. But what do I do about the softer goals? The ones that whisper, You’re not good enough, or This isn’t worth celebrating, or You don’t belong?\nDo I acknowledge them and move on?\nDo I stop in my tracks and wipe the lenses every time I notice them?\nDo I scold myself for fogging up again?\nI don’t know. But maybe the answer is the same as what I do with my glasses: I notice. I manage. I do the best I can in that moment.\nWhat do you do about the foggy glasses in your life?\n","permalink":"/blog/foggy-glasses-and-other-things-i-cant-fix/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI don’t like wearing my glasses when I run. But I also can’t see without them, and I’ve never been able to get contact lenses into my eyes—so it is what it is, a necessary evil.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn winter, it’s even more horrible. And right now, it’s the middle of winter here in South Africa. My glasses fog up in the cold morning air, especially when running track. It’s a constant dance of wiping, adjusting, and squinting through the mist. I keep joking, \u003cem\u003e“Can’t see with them, can’t see without them,”\u003c/em\u003e or \u003cem\u003e“I’m going to run into a goalpost soon,”\u003c/em\u003e just to keep the annoyance light. But it is an annoyance. One of those problems I can’t fix, but I manage as best I can.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Foggy Glasses and Other Things I Can’t Fix"},{"content":"The other day, I wasn’t quite sure how to make sense of the box of goodies that had been left behind at the 30km mark—the first table we supported at during Comrades. We had sport gels, empty packets, running kit—some clean, some very much not—that needed to be sorted and cleaned. These items might only make their way back to their owners in a week or two, and I certainly didn’t want anyone receiving two-week-old sweaty clothes.\nThe problem? Not everything was marked. I wanted to make sure that when I washed the items, I could place them back into the correct packet afterwards. So I took photos of each bag and its contents. Great plan—until I noticed that two runners had identical-looking gloves. The only difference? One pair was slightly thicker than the other.\nSo I sent myself a WhatsApp message to keep track: “Dash\u0026rsquo;s gloves are thicker.”\nI do not often message myself, and because I’ve left WhatsApp Web open on my desktop and it’s pinned under my name (otherwise I miss notifications on my phone for other contacts), that little note became the first thing I read most mornings this past week: “Dash\u0026rsquo;s gloves are thicker.”\nIt made me smile every time. And not just because of the slightly absurd nature of the message. It reminded me—quietly and beautifully—of the kind of running community I get to be part of. One where we care enough to make plans like this. To send ourselves notes about gloves. To ensure that the right things make their way back to the right people.\nAnd the thing is, it’s not one-sided. I know these are the same people who would do the same for me. People who show up. Who remembers. Who make mental notes, take photos, and send silly messages—because they care.\nRunning teaches us about endurance, sure. But sometimes it also teaches us about tenderness. That behind the big finish lines and the loud cheers are smaller moments of unseen effort. Acts of care. The kind that no one claps for, but that hold everything together.\nThat’s what support looks like. Not just the loud encouragement, but the quiet organising. The kit-washing. The glove-sorting. The funny little reminder that someone is looking out for you, even if it’s just through a message that says your gloves are the thicker ones.\nMuch of who I am and what I do, I can only do—or be—because of others who support me along the way. Who do invisible work and care in ways I might never notice.\nWho knows that your gloves are thicker? If no one, is it not time you find yourself such a community?\n","permalink":"/blog/dashs-gloves-are-thicker/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe other day, I wasn’t quite sure how to make sense of the box of goodies that had been left behind at the 30km mark—the first table we supported at during Comrades. We had sport gels, empty packets, running kit—some clean, some very much not—that needed to be sorted and cleaned. These items might only make their way back to their owners in a week or two, and I certainly didn’t want anyone receiving two-week-old sweaty clothes.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Dash's gloves are thicker"},{"content":"My newsletters have transitioned to a new provider, and I\u0026rsquo;m delighted to share the new subscription link.\n","permalink":"/blog/subscribe-to-my-newsletter/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eMy newsletters have transitioned to a new provider, and I\u0026rsquo;m delighted to share the new \u003ca href="/%22https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/1592916/157294983521502989/share/%22/u003esubscription/index.html" link\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Subscribe To My Newsletter"},{"content":"The past two weeks have been rough. I’m not even going to dress it up. My sleep, or the lack of it, has pushed me to the edge. (Stupid perimenopause, well, that is what I think it is.) I’ve tried everything. The first round of prescription meds I got earlier this year didn’t work. The second left me feeling drugged and groggy, even more tired than before. A third script followed, but I decided not to fill it right away. I’d rather face my bad sleep head-on than risk going through that again. I am tired of experimenting on top of being physically exhausted.\nAnd then there was Mother’s Day.\nMy children went out of their way to spoil me. (And why can I not just stop this paragraph here, why is it always the but that occupies the most thought real estate?) But one—well—did not even verbally acknowledge the day.\nLater that week, his teacher stopped me to say how touched she was by the message he’d sent her, thanking her for being like a mum to him at school. I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked. It stung. And that night, when I couldn’t sleep, the spiral came: Where did I go wrong? What did I miss? Why does he hate me when I do so much for him and love him as best I can? You know the drill\u0026hellip; Those thoughts find you when you\u0026rsquo;re already low, and pull you deeper still.\nBut not everything has been dark.\nI celebrated my birthday. I felt terrible that morning; it was day two on that awful medication. But I’d invited some friends over for cake, and they lifted me. They reminded me that I’m held, even when I don’t feel steady. They made my day!\nThe day before my birthday, something else happened.\nAt the track where I run, there’s a checkpoint when we leave. Show your keys, turn the ignition, off you go. But that day, as I rolled down my window, the security guard looked at me, smiled, and said:\n\u0026ldquo;Yoh. You can really see the progress. One of these days, you’re going to run a marathon.\u0026rdquo;\nI laughed. Partly because I’ve already run three. But mostly because it was just such a pure moment. Unfiltered kindness from someone who sees me only in passing. He doesn’t know the pain, the exhaustion, the doubts. He sees someone who keeps showing up.\nAnd sometimes, that’s all we can do.\nThat one comment reminded me that even when things feel like falling apart, something in me is still building. Still becoming. Still visible, even if only to someone standing at the edge of the car park.\nSo here I am: still tired, still wrestling, still unsure. But still going.\nHow do you stop yourself from falling apart?\n","permalink":"/blog/too-tired/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe past two weeks have been rough. I’m not even going to dress it up. My sleep, or the lack of it, has pushed me to the edge. (Stupid perimenopause, well, that is what I think it is.) I’ve tried everything. The first round of prescription meds I got earlier this year didn’t work. The second left me feeling drugged and groggy, even more tired than before. A third script followed, but I decided not to fill it right away. I’d rather face my bad sleep head-on than risk going through \u003cem\u003ethat\u003c/em\u003e again. I am tired of experimenting on top of being physically exhausted.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Too Tired"},{"content":"I’ve done enough 10km time trials by now to know my typical reactions: either I dread them, feeling unprepared, annoyed, and not in the mood, or I go in too confident, sure I’ll crush it… only to be disappointed.\nThat disappointment has started to weigh on me more than I realised. It lingers. I work so hard, consistently, and still, the outcomes sometimes—uhm, often—don’t reflect the effort I’ve put in. Over time, something in me has quietly shifted. I’ve started not wanting to try—not because I don’t care, but because I care so much. I hate the hurt that comes with feeling like I’ve fallen short.\nLast Monday morning, my coach told me I’m due for another 10km time trial this coming Friday. And to my surprise, a new response showed up. I didn’t push back. I didn’t pretend to be excited either. I replied:\n“Sigh… I’m not sure I am ready yet. Curious to see if I can do better? Yes… But not ready…”\nThat line stayed with me all day. Why that response? Why not my usual “I’m not keen at all,” or “Maybe I can go for that PB”? Why suddenly… curious?\nI think it’s the first time I’ve let myself feel curious without needing to also feel confident—something I had lost so long ago. Or so hesitant that I don’t want to try at all. I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m not avoiding anything. I’m standing in the middle of not knowing. That place between fear and excitement. Just… curious.\nIf it’s not a test, nor a statement, then maybe Friday’s 10km is just a line in the sand. A simple: “Let’s see where you’re at.”\nI’m curious (ha ha, so curious about so many things it seems) to see, after the run, whether this mindset changes how I feel afterwards. Maybe curiosity is the way forward.\nThe way to keep caring without being crushed.\nThe way to try without tying everything to the result.\nThe way to survive outside of my comfort zone\u0026hellip;\nWhat might happen if you approached things with curiosity instead of expectation or hesitation? Do you think it matters?\nP.S. My training week looks slightly different now, probably because I am running my first Cross-Country event on Saturday. I will be curious about a 10km time trial another day.\n","permalink":"/blog/not-ready-just-curious/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI’ve done enough 10km time trials by now to know my typical reactions: either I dread them, feeling unprepared, annoyed, and not in the mood, or I go in too confident, sure I’ll crush it… only to be disappointed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat disappointment has started to weigh on me more than I realised. It lingers. I work so hard, consistently, and still, the outcomes sometimes—uhm, often—don’t reflect the effort I’ve put in. Over time, something in me has quietly shifted. I’ve started not wanting to try—not because I don’t care, but because I care so much. I hate the hurt that comes with feeling like I’ve fallen short.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Not Ready. Just Curious."},{"content":"I baked some resurrection rolls the other day for our Easter Sunday service. It was my first time making them. I’m fairly confident in baking, but I don’t usually bake bread, and this recipe was particularly odd. Somehow, I forgot that I was supposed to halve the marshmallows, and well\u0026hellip; my rolls looked less like an empty tomb and more like an explosion from within one. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but they didn’t look quite how they were supposed to.\nBut they didn’t taste too bad, so I sent them anyway. If the Lord asks us to come as we are and welcomes us anyway, my imperfect resurrection rolls would surely be welcome too.\nDuring this process, I kept thinking about the importance of showing up just as we are, with all our flaws and scars. It’s hard to do. We so often want to show the world our best selves. And while rounding off our rough edges is sometimes necessary, there are moments when we simply need to drop the façade, like in therapy, genuine friendships, or intimate relationships.\nThe challenge is, how do we make that switch? Especially when, in something new, we’re still using our best behaviour—being polite, pleasant, and acceptable. Vulnerability takes time. But then therapy asks for it right away. That’s a big ask. And yet, maybe that’s what makes it possible: sitting across from someone you don’t know, someone trained to hold space for your unpolished truth.\nI remember how long it took for me to let the ‘ugly’ parts of myself be seen in therapy—the parts that questioned whether my sister, who died by suicide, went to heaven, or that carried anger towards my mum and quiet resentment towards my dad. But slowly, something softened. I stopped worrying about my therapist\u0026rsquo;s opinion of me, and that rippled through to my ordinary life. I spoke my mind more, wrote, pretended less and showed more of who I truly was. I had a better idea of where my wounds were and what I needed to do to heal them. I started understanding myself better. And it was so freeing.\nMaybe this is the point: the freedom is in showing up. Not perfectly, not neatly packaged. Just honestly. That’s when the healing begins. Because how can we expect to be helped to heal if we never let our wounds be seen?\nIf you truly believed you were already accepted just as you are, and loved for being that person, what would you do differently, or how would you be different?\nPS. The rolls did make it to church. There were many others on offer too, but when I asked my youngest if she’d tried anyone else’s, she shook her head. “No,” she said, “I only had yours. I wanted people to see that yours were the best.” Bless her! What have I done right in life to deserve such wholehearted love?\n","permalink":"/blog/bringing-the-rolls-anyway/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI baked some resurrection rolls the other day for our Easter Sunday service. It was my first time making them. I’m fairly confident in baking, but I don’t usually bake bread, and this recipe was particularly odd. Somehow, I forgot that I was supposed to halve the marshmallows, and well\u0026hellip; my rolls looked less like an empty tomb and more like an explosion from within one. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but they didn’t look quite how they were supposed to.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bringing the Rolls Anyway"},{"content":"And just like that, some good things — and things I wasn’t looking forward to — ended.\nThe school holidays disappeared in a flash. Why only a week? My husband and son’s trip to the South African National Track Cycling Champs in Cape Town is now behind us. I’m so proud of my eldest, Erik, who brought home two silver medals and a bronze — such a big moment for him.\nI hadn’t been looking forward to the nine days of solo parenting our three youngest, but they made it easy for me. We found our groove. We even had fun. I missed my husband terribly, but I’m also proud of how we managed — and of what that time gave us.\nWhenever I think about time passing, there’s a quote that always comes to mind:\n“When things are bad, remember: it won’t always be this way. Take one day at a time.\nWhen things are good, remember: it won’t always be this way. Enjoy every great moment.”\nAlthough I find it comforting, I’ll admit: sometimes it scares me too.\nBecause the idea that even the good won’t last is hard to accept. There are moments I want to hold onto with both hands and never let go. I don’t want them to pass. And yet… sometimes, when one good thing ends, it makes space for something else to begin. Or for a different kind of good. And sometimes, yes, it just leaves a gap. The hard part is not knowing.\nBut every now and then, something gives us a glimpse of just how much time has passed — scary, uncertain, and all — and reminds us that we made it through. Through the good and the bad. And that, somehow, most of it turned out okay.\nLast week, we received our new annual family photos. Every year, I say it’s the best set we’ve ever had — and yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds — but this year’s really is the best we’ve ever had.\nMy youngest turns eleven this year, which means we’ve had more than a decade of photos as a family of six. Looking back through them, it’s so clear that nothing stayed the same. The kids grew up — as they should — but Derik and I changed too. Not just in how we look, but in who we are.\nI remember moments I thought we’d never get through. And others I wanted to freeze and keep forever. There were good things that ended so painfully, I wasn’t sure I’d ever process the loss — and yet, I did. Someone asked me recently when my youngest suddenly grew up, she has turned into a beautiful young lady, and I replied, “When we weren’t looking.” Isn’t that exactly how it goes?\nI often feel stuck. Like nothing is moving and I’m not making any progress. That feeling can be so frustrating, but it’s never the whole picture; it is just a feeling. Things can’t stay the same forever. It’s impossible. I’ve got a whole collection of photos to prove it.\nAt some point, things shift. They have to. The only question is: will it get better, or worse? And yes, that uncertainty still scares me. It probably always will.\nWhen last did you noticed how much has changed — and how far you’ve come?\n","permalink":"/blog/it-wont-always-be-this-way/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAnd just like that, some good things — and things I wasn’t looking forward to — ended.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe school holidays disappeared in a flash. Why only a week? My husband and son’s trip to the South African National Track Cycling Champs in Cape Town is now behind us. I’m so proud of my eldest, Erik, who brought home two silver medals and a bronze — such a big moment for him.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"It Won’t Always Be This Way"},{"content":"Yesterday we received new family photos, and I could not be happier with them. Here is a look back at our pictures over the years. Jackie from adore\u0026rsquo; photography captured all of these photos.\n","permalink":"/blog/our-family-photos/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eYesterday we received new family photos, and I could not be happier with them. Here is a look back at our pictures over the years. Jackie from \u003ca href="/%22https://www.adorephotography.co.za//%22/u003eadore/u0026rsquo;/index.html" photography\u003c/a\u003e captured all of these photos.\u003c/p\u003e\n\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"gallery gallery-cols-1\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e","title":"Our Family Photos"},{"content":"Anyone who has spent time with me on the road this year—or in the comments on Strava—has probably heard me curse this ridiculous distance goal of mine. My coach, Michelle, has probably rolled her eyes at me for complaining about it more than once.\nIn 2024, I ran 2,500 km. My goal was 2,400 km, but I managed it well and exceeded it by 100 km. When Michelle and I had our recap and planning meeting at the end of last year, we decided to aim for 2,600 km in 2025. Even then, it felt like a heavy goal—something I told Michelle right from day one.\nThree months into the year, and I am just hanging on to this goal—barely! It’s a massive challenge. The problem is simple: Last year, I knew I could relax because marathon training would automatically increase my mileage. But since I’m focusing on shorter distances this year, there’s no marathon training. My next marathon is only in early 2026. That means I have to stay consistent throughout the year, or I risk falling behind to the point where the goal becomes unreachable.\nYet, while lamenting this goal again the other day, I admitted something else: if it weren’t for this target, many of my runs wouldn’t have happened. I’ve found myself sneaking in an extra two kilometers after a track session, adding a few hill repeats after an easy run, or heading out for a short Sunday afternoon jog to make up some mileage. And despite the reluctance—and the occasional cursing—this extra running has served me well. It turns out I do better with more running, not less.\nThis got me thinking about goals and the importance of setting challenging ones. What’s the point of a goal that’s too easy to reach? If you can achieve it effortlessly, why set it in the first place? You might not always love the goal, but you should love the results. And I can’t imagine much satisfaction in tracking progress and hitting a goal that requires little effort.\nThat realisation hit again when Michelle suggested increasing my Interval, Repetition, and Fast Repetition paces just over a week ago. At first, I resisted. It had taken me nearly a year to hit those paces consistently, and I liked going back to Garmin and TrainingPeaks after a track session to see that I had nailed them. It made me happy. But when she pointed out that I was hitting them every time and they were no longer a challenge, I realised the excitement of reaching them had indeed faded. So, I agreed to the change. Now I have new, tougher paces—ones I’m barely hitting yet. But the day I do will feel incredible. Just like eventually reaching 2,600 km this year will.\nWhat is your attitude towards setting goals?\n","permalink":"/blog/my-ridiculous-distance-goal/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAnyone who has spent time with me on the road this year—or in the comments on Strava—has probably heard me curse this ridiculous distance goal of mine. My coach, \u003ca href="/%22https://michellecoachmee.co.za//%22/u003eMichelle/u003c/a/u003e,/index.html" has probably rolled her eyes at me for complaining about it more than once.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn 2024, I ran 2,500 km. My goal was 2,400 km, but I managed it well and exceeded it by 100 km. When Michelle and I had our recap and planning meeting at the end of last year, we decided to aim for 2,600 km in 2025. Even then, it felt like a heavy goal—something I told Michelle right from day one.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"My Ridiculous Distance Goal"},{"content":"These past two weeks have been challenging. First, I did something strange to my knee during my track session on the morning my last newsletter went out. That forced me to take a few days off running—not ideal, but necessary. My knee is improving, though it’s still not 100%. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, my sleep took a turn for the worse. For some reason, I’ve been sleeping restlessly and waking up exhausted, despite getting more than eight hours of sleep every night.\nIt’s frustrating.\nI do everything right. I only drink one cup of coffee daily, early in the morning after my run. I stick to a consistent bedtime—as close to 20h00 as possible. I eat by 18h00. I take extra magnesium. I don’t have any significant worries keeping me up at night. I avoid my phone before bed, choosing to read instead. I don’t drink alcohol. I exercise regularly. I tick all the boxes. And yet, I wake up every morning feeling like I haven’t slept at all.\nWhy does life have to be so complicated? Why can’t effort always translate into results?\nIf I neglect my sleep, I know I’d feel even worse, so it’s not like the effort is pointless. But it’s frustrating when you do everything right and still don’t get the outcome you expect. It’s a bit of a catch-22. And it’s not just me—this happens to so many people.\nRunners train for months, only to get injured before race day. Someone follows a diet plan to the letter, yet they hit a weight-loss plateau for weeks. You put in the work, but something gets in the way. And when that happens, it’s tempting to think, What’s the point?\nIn the middle of this, I received an email inviting me to be interviewed for YOU magazine. During the interview, Siphokazi asked me how to handle setbacks, such as a weight-loss plateau or when training progress stalls.\nI had to laugh internally at the irony. Here I was, feeling completely despondent, and now someone was asking me for advice on handling these exact moments. If I had all the answers, I probably wouldn’t have spent the last week wondering why my efforts weren’t paying off.\nBut after thinking about it, I realised I did have something to say—not because I always get it right, but because I’ve been through this before. The only thing I know for sure is that when it feels like nothing is working, the worst thing I can do is quit.\nThe best thing I can do is keep showing up, even if I have to become creative and find a new reason to motivate myself. Perhaps with a gentler effort, perhaps with a bit more patience and grace, but still showing up. While effort doesn’t always bring instant results, quitting guarantees none.\nHow do you handle moments when your effort doesn’t produce the expected results?\n","permalink":"/blog/quitting-guarantees-none/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThese past two weeks have been challenging. First, I did something strange to my knee during my track session on the morning my last newsletter went out. That forced me to take a few days off running—not ideal, but necessary. My knee is improving, though it’s still not 100%. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, my sleep took a turn for the worse. For some reason, I’ve been sleeping restlessly and waking up exhausted, despite getting more than eight hours of sleep every night.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Quitting Guarantees None"},{"content":"The other day, a WhatsApp conversation with a friend made me stop and think again about why I do what I do.\nWe were chatting about her Comrades plans, and she asked about my running goals for the year.\n“I’ll probably keep supporting at Comrades until, someday, I’m strong and fast enough to run it myself. If that ever happens.”\n“2027 would be a good year to run it,” she replied.\nI stared at the message for a moment before typing back. “I can’t even imagine that yet—or where I’ll be, or what shape I’ll be in then. Every December that ticks by without me falling back into obesity is a win in my books.”\nShe said she had seen so many people struggling with their weight, and I found myself saying, “I know. It’s one of the saddest things to witness.”\nBecause this—this is why I started my blog.\nThe first time I truly realised I was emotionally eating, my immediate thought wasn’t just about myself. Others must be doing this too, probably without even realising it. I need to tell them.\nWhat touches me the most are the wives and mothers who have stopped living for themselves, who have faded into the background while paradoxically making themselves bigger in the process. It breaks my heart.\nI wish I could take them by the shoulders and wake them up.\nBut my friend was right when she said, \u0026ldquo;You’re doing all you can; you can’t do it for them. They have to do it for themselves.\u0026rdquo;\nAll I can do is share my story and hope it resonates enough to help others find their own way out.\nEvery now and then, it helps to reflect on my why—to reconnect with the initial drive that got me going.\nWhy do you do what you do?\n","permalink":"/blog/why-i-started-writing/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe other day, a WhatsApp conversation with a friend made me stop and think again about why I do what I do.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe were chatting about her Comrades plans, and she asked about my running goals for the year.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“I’ll probably keep supporting at Comrades until, someday, I’m strong and fast enough to run it myself. If that ever happens.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“2027 would be a good year to run it,” she replied.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Why I Started Writing"},{"content":"With Valentine\u0026rsquo;s Day that has just passed, love is in the air—but what about self-love? It’s easy to focus on showing care for others while neglecting ourselves. Loving yourself means being kind to yourself even when you have low motivation. We all get there, and it\u0026rsquo;s a tough feeling to sit with—that sense of \u0026ldquo;what\u0026rsquo;s the point of continuing?\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;I might as well stop trying.\u0026rdquo; Lately, I\u0026rsquo;ve been feeling like that again. And I’m not sure why—sometimes motivating myself is difficult!\nWhen I feel this way, I remind myself there are ways to work through it. Here are a few strategies that help me, and maybe they’ll help you too:\nBreak It Down – Instead of focusing on the entire journey ahead, narrow your focus to the next small step. Progress feels more manageable when it\u0026rsquo;s in bite-sized pieces. When discussing my weight loss journey, I always say that I never lost eighty kilograms—I lost eight kilograms ten times. I sometimes find it difficult to break a big task or goal into smaller pieces, and when that happens, it\u0026rsquo;s often because I can\u0026rsquo;t look at it objectively. That’s when it helps to ask someone I trust for their input. Reconnect with Your ‘Why’ – Remind yourself why you started in the first place. It’s important to have a reason behind what you do, and if your original reason doesn’t resonate anymore, find a new one. There is a difference between a reason and a goal. I run because I want to maintain my weight, stay fit, and challenge myself. On the other hand, my goals are about the pace I want to run at and the mileage I wish to complete. Look at Past Wins—Even small victories count. Seeing how you\u0026rsquo;ve overcome past challenges can remind you that you can push through again. Now and again, it’s good to remind yourself that what once felt impossible is now something you do with ease. Adjust Expectations – Sometimes, feeling stuck comes from expecting results too soon. Giving yourself more time and space can ease the pressure. I hate it when others pressure me—I often freeze up. So why do I put so much pressure on myself? That’s one of the reasons I’m looking forward to this year—without race-specific pressure, I can focus on steady improvement without constantly chasing a deadline. Seek Encouragement—Talking to someone who understands or seeking inspiration from others can help shift your perspective and make you feel less alone. Take a Strategic Break – Resting isn’t quitting. Sometimes, stepping back can help you return with more clarity and energy. This is probably one of the hardest things for runners to do. For some odd reason, we find resting incredibly difficult. Reframe the Thought—Instead of saying, “I might as well stop trying,” consider, “What’s one thing I can still do?” Shifting from an all-or-nothing mindset can open up possibilities. Whenever I feel like my back is against the wall and there are no other options available, those are the times I’m most likely to quit. Are there any of these strategies that you naturally use already? Or is there one you don\u0026rsquo;t use but might consider trying? I’m working on adjusting my expectations and breaking things down into smaller steps—especially when it comes to my running goals for the year. What about you?\n","permalink":"/blog/dealing-with-despondency/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWith Valentine\u0026rsquo;s Day that has just passed, love is in the air—but what about self-love? It’s easy to focus on showing care for others while neglecting ourselves. Loving yourself means being kind to yourself even when you have low motivation. We all get there, and it\u0026rsquo;s a tough feeling to sit with—that sense of \u0026ldquo;what\u0026rsquo;s the point of continuing?\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;I might as well stop trying.\u0026rdquo; Lately, I\u0026rsquo;ve been feeling like that again. And I’m not sure why—sometimes motivating myself is difficult!\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Dealing with Despondency"},{"content":"These past two weeks a friend who had lost 80kg via bariatric surgery within the space of 2024 alone, made me again ask myself the question \u0026ldquo;Am I the fool for having done things the way that I did it?\u0026rdquo; My husband says it must feel to me like saving up to buy an expensive car for three years, and then having the car go on sale for a third of the price the day after I had finally bought it. That\u0026rsquo;s not a bad analogy. But it\u0026rsquo;s not the most accurate analogy either. Every journey and what\u0026rsquo;s gained or lost during each is different.\nWhat makes me feel better is to pause, look back on my journey, and acknowledge what I’ve achieved. And that is this: I lost 80kg through lifestyle changes alone. It took nearly three years, and I’ve maintained it for five years. That’s remarkable! Research shows the odds are against people who’ve lost significant weight naturally when sustaining it. But I am trying my best to defy those odds and be the healthiest me I can be within my means.\nAs humans, we love measuring health. Weight, height, resting heart rate, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol—all these numbers are meant to paint a picture of our health. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through my journey, it’s this: true health extends far beyond numbers. It’s an unmeasurable sense of overall well-being.\nI can’t measure the habits I’ve cultivated, but I know they’re steady and reliable, allowing me to manage my weight sustainably through consistent effort.\nI can’t quantify my strength, but I feel it in every challenge I face and overcome. Maintaining weight loss is infinitely harder than losing it, and doing so without surgical intervention or aid speaks volumes about my inner strength and discipline.\nI can’t put a number on my character, but I know it’s shaped by every tough decision, every sacrifice, and every moment I’ve persevered. My mental toughness has been tested time and again, and I’ve grown stronger with each trial.\nYet, of course, there’s still room for growth. No one ever arrives; not me and not someone who made different choices than me either. In particular, I’d like to work on pushing myself outside my comfort zone more—especially when running. I’ve done it in other areas: therapy, writing, running marathons, working with a coach. Each time, my “comfort bubble” expanded. Perhaps that’s another \u0026ldquo;health unmeasurable\u0026rdquo;: the size of one’s comfort zone.\nRecently, I chatted with another mum who shared how her running has improved since partnering with someone faster than her. She’s motivated to keep up so her partner doesn’t have to wait, and it naturally pushes her to run outside her comfort zone. That resonated with me. I tend to avoid running with others because I fear holding them back, but maybe it’s time to step outside that fear and embrace the challenge.\nHave you ever experienced health in ways that numbers couldn’t capture? What has your unmeasurable been?\n","permalink":"/blog/health-beyond-numbers/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThese past two weeks a friend who had lost 80kg via bariatric surgery within the space of 2024 alone, made me again ask myself the question \u0026ldquo;Am I the fool for having done things the way that I did it?\u0026rdquo; My husband says it must feel to me like saving up to buy an expensive car for three years, and then having the car go on sale for a third of the price the day after I had finally bought it. That\u0026rsquo;s not a bad analogy. But it\u0026rsquo;s not the most accurate analogy either. Every journey and what\u0026rsquo;s gained or lost during each is different.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Health Beyond Numbers"},{"content":"At the start of this year, I chose my word for the year: Lemon. Or rather, Lemon chose me.\nIt happened during my New Year\u0026rsquo;s Day run when I picked up a lemon along the route. I don’t believe in coincidences, so I looked into the spiritual meaning of lemons and found themes of cleansing, protection, transformation, clarity, and focus. Those last two—clarity and focus—struck a chord. They seemed exactly what I needed for a year that already felt murky and directionless.\nAnd yet, now that I’m sitting here writing, that initial spark of excitement around the word “Lemon” feels dim. January is flying by, but the year itself feels sluggish. I’ve yet to find my rhythm or feel truly motivated. No matter how much I rest or how well I try to sleep, I can’t seem to shake the tiredness. My husband thinks my iron levels might be low, but I suspect it’s still the after-effects of the spider bite and anaesthetics from just over a month ago.\nTwo weekends ago, I ran a 15-kilometre training run—my longest run since my operation last year. It felt hard, far harder than it should have. That struggle convinced me to skip the 15-kilometre race I’d signed up for this past weekend. I’m not ready to race yet, and I hate admitting that.\nIf I’m honest, my goals for the year feel heavy, almost impossible, like I’m dragging them uphill. And let’s talk about Strava. Every January 1st, it wipes the slate clean, resetting everything from the previous year. It’s like all those miles and hard work disappear into nothingness. I can’t help but wish for a way to carry some momentum forward instead of starting over—or at least that’s what it feels like.\nLast year, I was excited to increase my training volume and prepare for something big. This year, I’m not sure what lies ahead. There’s no looming goal that excites me in the same way—but honestly, I don’t want the pressure of a big goal either. Yes, you can call me indecisive.\nIs there a name for this beginning-of-the-year dread? That slump where motivation feels like it’s hiding?\nIf you’ve ever felt stuck between the old year and the new, not quite ready to dive into your goals, I’d love to hear how you navigated it. Maybe, like lemons, something cleansing or transformative is waiting to be discovered.\nFor now, I’ll keep running, writing, and searching for clarity and focus.\nIf you’ve selected one, what’s your word for the year, and how is it guiding you so far?\nOn the 2nd of January my friend, Thandie, encouraged me to put the lemon I picked up to good use. We toasted to the New Year and lots of positive vibes.\n","permalink":"/blog/lemon-mojo-struggles/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAt the start of this year, I chose my word for the year: \u003cem\u003eLemon\u003c/em\u003e. Or rather, Lemon chose me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt happened during my New Year\u0026rsquo;s Day run when I picked up a lemon along the route. I don’t believe in coincidences, so I looked into the spiritual meaning of lemons and found themes of cleansing, protection, transformation, clarity, and focus. Those last two—clarity and focus—struck a chord. They seemed exactly what I needed for a year that already felt murky and directionless.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Lemon Mojo Struggles"},{"content":"With the start of 2025 and a flurry of New Year’s resolutions, I wondered why we often wait for a Monday, the 1st of the month, or a new year to start something. Is it because we crave structure, the promise of a clean slate, or simply because everyone else is doing the same? Yet starting on a random Friday or the 14th of the month doesn’t seem to carry the same weight. Do you also reckon so?\nBut is this mindset not holding us back?\nLast year, I came across this simple reminder, and it stuck with me:\nStart in November.\nStart in your forties.\nStart on a Friday.\nStart at 5 p.m.\nStart on the 31st.\nStart late.\nStart.\nThis hit me hard because it reminded me of how often I’ve delayed taking action, waiting for that \u0026ldquo;perfect\u0026rdquo; starting point. Isn’t it deceptive? We tell ourselves we’re planning, but it’s procrastination wearing a disguise.\nIsn’t the best time to start something right now, when inspiration strikes and the momentum is fresh? For me, this is especially true when I’m writing or drawing. I can’t schedule creativity—it doesn’t work like that. I have to dive in when the spark hits, no matter the time or day. And you know what? My best work almost always comes from those unscheduled bursts of action.\nConversely, I’ve seen how waiting for the \u0026ldquo;right\u0026rdquo; time can derail progress entirely. I once met someone who planned to start a diet on Monday. She spent the weekend prepping everything but accidentally bought the wrong yoghurt. It wasn’t a big deal—she could’ve made a small tweak and continued. But instead, she threw everything out and decided to wait for the next Monday. That Monday never came.\nThe truth is, any moment is a good moment to begin. If we let go of the need for perfect timing, we free ourselves from unnecessary pressure and open the door to progress now. It’s not the start date that makes the difference; it’s the small, consistent actions that follow.\nYou don’t need to wait for the perfect time. Start today. Start messy. Start not having everything you need yet. Start with what you have. Start imperfectly. Just start.\nWhat have you been waiting to start? What’s stopping you from starting right now?\n","permalink":"/blog/procrastination-disguised-as-planning/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWith the start of 2025 and a flurry of New Year’s resolutions, I wondered why we often wait for a Monday, the 1st of the month, or a new year to start something. Is it because we crave structure, the promise of a clean slate, or simply because everyone else is doing the same? Yet starting on a random Friday or the 14th of the month doesn’t seem to carry the same weight. Do you also reckon so?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Procrastination Disguised as Planning"},{"content":"These past two weeks have tested me more than I expected. Not long after I told my coach how blessed I\u0026rsquo;d been to avoid injuries that sidelined me from running this year, everything seemed to unravel. I probably jinxed it!\nIt started with a spider bite that turned into an infection so bad I needed surgery to drain it. The wound had to stay open, so running was out of the question. Just as I started easing back into it, I had an allergic reaction to the plaster covering the still-healing wound. I ended up running with the wound uncovered, which made me nervous and extra cautious.\nTaking time off from running is hard. It’s my go-to for keeping my weight steady, so my mind jumps to worst-case scenarios when I can\u0026rsquo;t run. I start worrying I’ll gain a ton of weight or lose all my progress.\nBut here’s the reminder I’ve been holding onto: that kind of thinking isn’t fair. It doesn’t leave room for grace. I had a wonderful year with nearly 2500km of running mileage. I can only do what I can—and that’s okay.\nI keep returning to a lesson I learned years ago: Living as healthily as possible in the moment will always work in my favour. Even if that living needs to look different for a little while.\nSo, remember to give yourself some grace if the holidays aren’t going quite how you planned—or you’re dealing with a few curveballs. Keep making the best choices you can in any circumstance, but have fun and enjoy the moments that matter. You’re doing your best and that is enough.\nWishing you a joyful Christmas, if you celebrate it, and a fresh start in the new year.\n","permalink":"/blog/a-reminder-i-needed/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThese past two weeks have tested me more than I expected. Not long after I told my coach how blessed I\u0026rsquo;d been to avoid injuries that sidelined me from running this year, everything seemed to unravel. I probably jinxed it!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt started with a spider bite that turned into an infection so bad I needed surgery to drain it. The wound had to stay open, so running was out of the question. Just as I started easing back into it, I had an allergic reaction to the plaster covering the still-healing wound. I ended up running with the wound uncovered, which made me nervous and extra cautious.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"A Reminder I Needed"},{"content":"If I had known on the 5th of December 2021 that it would take me three years—almost to the day—to improve the 10km time I ran that day, I’m not sure I would have laced up my shoes at all.\nThis past weekend, I finally broke that 10km personal best—three years of trying, failing, and trying again. For most of this year, I’d been actively chasing this goal, coming so close—just seconds away—on several occasions. But no matter how hard I tried, it refused to fall. Until this weekend\u0026hellip;\nMy friend and fellow MCMer, Iniel, offered to pace me for the run—a gesture that touched me deeply, especially since I hadn’t asked for help and had been planning to run solo. It felt like he still believed in me, even when I’d stopped believing in myself. But I was also hesitant to accept his offer of help and afraid it would put pressure on me again, however, he assured me - no pressure. It wasn’t the first time someone had paced me. Earlier this year, my coach Michelle tried, as did my friend Raymond—more than once. I hoped it would be the day I’d finally break through each time, but it never was.\nBefore we started, Iniel asked what I had in mind for the run. I told him I’d love to break that PB—even if only by a second—and explained that the hills were my biggest challenge. He listened and simply stayed by my side throughout the run. He never pushed me, never asked me to pick up the pace, and never looked worried that we might not make it. He didn’t run ahead, either—he just stayed steady, right next to me.\nBy the end of the run, I had to triple-check my watch. I couldn’t believe it—I’d shaved thirty seconds off my time!\nOne of the first things I said to Iniel after our run was, “Michelle is going to be so happy.” She’s been working hard with me all year, hoping for this PB as much as I have. This victory felt like a shared reward, built on years of effort—not just mine, but from everyone who’s supported me.\nIn my first book, I shared my fear of regaining the 80kg I lost. I described a conversation with my therapist, in which he urged me to stop measuring myself solely against the scale. He reminded me that the process itself—the commitment to an active, healthy life—was worth it. Whether or not the results came immediately, or even at all, I had to keep going for the sake of my overall well-being.\nThe journey to this PB felt like my commitment to a healthy lifestyle. Day after day, I show up—planning meals, waking up early in all kinds of weather, hitting the tarmac, or picking up weights. Many days feel futile, especially when the results I’m chasing don’t seem to materialise.\nIn those moments, it’s easy to think, Why bother? What’s the point? My husband’s teasing question after my PB run— “So do you still think everything you do is futile?” (Yes, I get like that too, and he often bears the brunt of it)—hits on that very struggle.\nNo commitment to any lifestyle or habit can ever be about the occasional triumph. It’s about showing up, day after day, and trusting that those efforts are always to your benefit—validation or not.\nBut when those victories do come, oh, how sweet they are\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"/blog/the-occasional-triumph/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIf I had known on the 5th of December 2021 that it would take me three years—almost to the day—to improve the 10km time I ran that day, I’m not sure I would have laced up my shoes at all.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis past weekend, I finally broke that 10km personal best—three years of trying, failing, and trying again. For most of this year, I’d been actively chasing this goal, coming so close—just seconds away—on several occasions. But no matter how hard I tried, it refused to fall. Until this weekend\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Occasional Triumph"},{"content":"I am so surprised by how much better I feel after my marathon this year, which was only a month ago, compared to how I felt after the previous two marathons I ran. I reckon I’ve recovered well and am back to running strongly.\nMentally, I also feel far less lost than before. I thought that because I hadn’t already entered next year’s edition of the Cape Town Marathon, I would feel aimless, but I don’t. Instead, I feel like there’s much less pressure on me. I haven’t set any new goals for next year yet either, and that’s also not bothering me.\nI am in a good place, and I didn’t expect it to be like this.\nPerhaps, in all these years of running, I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself. I dragged that goal of a sub-6 finish into every marathon I ran, and now that it’s out of the way, I can finally breathe. I always thought of this goal as a positive driving force, but not achieving it twice probably affected me more than I realised—it made me feel like I needed to regroup and refocus on it immediately again, no matter what.\nI set that sub-6 goal before heading into my first marathon. It wasn’t a ‘must-achieve’ goal then, but rather an ‘it would be nice’ goal. I thought it would be easily achievable—humble, even—something I could comfortably reach. However, while I was ecstatic to finish that first marathon, it did bother me that I didn’t achieve the sub-6 time.\nI run with many great runners for whom even a sub-6 marathon would be a snail’s pace. It’s not that I want to compare myself to them—I can’t, anyway. A part of me just wants to belong. And a sub-6 finish felt like it carried more legitimacy, weight and belonging than finishing in six and a half hours.\nIn a way, I am hesitant to set another goal. I have an idea of running a half marathon in two and a half hours, but I’m not up to chasing that goal yet. And perhaps that’s okay. Do we always need to be chasing the next big goal? Isn’t it sometimes enough to enjoy where we are?\nWhile the absence of a defined goal feels liberating now, I can imagine that, over time, it might also start to feel unsettling—like there’s no purpose to my running and no sense of direction. But surely, when I reach that point, I can decide on a goal then? Or choose to focus on a specific race?\nCould this be an opportunity to redefine my relationship with running? Instead of always chasing goals, perhaps I could focus on the process, the community, or simply the joy it brings me.\nDo you think it’s always important to chase something?\n","permalink":"/blog/enjoying-where-i-am/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI am so surprised by how much better I feel after my marathon this year, which was only a month ago, compared to how I felt after the previous two marathons I ran. I reckon I’ve recovered well and am back to running strongly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMentally, I also feel far less lost than before. I thought that because I hadn’t already entered next year’s edition of the Cape Town Marathon, I would feel aimless, but I don’t. Instead, I feel like there’s much less pressure on me. I haven’t set any new goals for next year yet either, and that’s also not bothering me.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Enjoying Where I Am"},{"content":"I recently attended a talk by Mark Sham titled Happiness Isn\u0026rsquo;t What You Think. During the presentation, he guided us through an exercise on gratitude:\nThink of someone you’re grateful for. Meditate on why you’re grateful to have this person in your life. Write down these reasons in a letter. When the opportunity arises, read this letter to that person. I feel incredibly fortunate to have many people in my life to be grateful for, but for this exercise, the first person who came to mind was my husband. Reflecting on why I am so thankful to have him in my life made me feel deeply emotional, and I\u0026rsquo;d like to share those reasons.\nHere’s what came to mind:\nI’m grateful for the times when I can look to my right while working at my desk, and ask, “What’s the grep command again to list everything without a particular substring in it?” (or whatever other programming problem I’m stuck on), and he replies, “It’s -v. Yes, I know it doesn’t make much sense.” When I return home from my early morning workout and see his car in the garage, I’m grateful not to return to an empty house. Knowing that he has dropped the kids off at school, allowing me time to exercise without worry, brings me immense peace. I’m grateful for the quiet moments, lying on the bed with him, reading or scrolling on my phone, where there’s no pressure to be anything but present and comfortable together. I’m grateful for engaging, grown-up conversations on various subjects when I want to talk. I’m grateful for someone who asks about my interests and never ridicules my passions but supports them in any way he can. I’m grateful for all the times he says he loves and spoils me. When serious issues arise, I’m grateful for a partner who faces responsibility head-on, without retreat. I’m grateful for a true partner with whom to face this big, sometimes scary thing called life. And I’m so grateful for someone I can give my love to, knowing he genuinely appreciates it. Reflecting on these reasons, I noticed none were grand gestures or material things. I didn’t list being provided for, having a roof over my head, or having food to eat—all things I am deeply grateful for, of course. But what filled my thoughts first were the ordinary, everyday moments, the coming and going, and the simple interactions that make me feel secure, loved, and cared for.\nWhat are the things you value most in your relationships?\n","permalink":"/blog/its-not-the-grand-gestures/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI recently attended a talk by Mark Sham titled \u003cem\u003eHappiness Isn\u0026rsquo;t What You Think\u003c/em\u003e. During the presentation, he guided us through an exercise on gratitude:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThink of someone you’re grateful for.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeditate on why you’re grateful to have this person in your life.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWrite down these reasons in a letter.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhen the opportunity arises, read this letter to that person.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI feel incredibly fortunate to have many people in my life to be grateful for, but for this exercise, the first person who came to mind was my husband. Reflecting on why I am so thankful to have him in my life made me feel deeply emotional, and I\u0026rsquo;d like to share those reasons.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"It's Not The Grand Gestures"},{"content":"The wind was howling when I awoke, long before dawn on race day. I’d listened to it since midnight, a constant, relentless reminder of the challenge awaiting me. Although I don\u0026rsquo;t consider myself a fair-weather runner, stepping out in weather like this is something I’d be hesitant to do even for a training run. But this wasn’t just any run; it was race day: the culmination of all the hours and countless kilometres.\nAt the guesthouse, I got ready, careful with every detail: thoroughly applying sunscreen, layering on anti-chafing cream, and ensuring each item was in place. My phone stayed behind; with all the race nutrition I needed to carry, it felt like unnecessary weight, and those who cared to track me had an app to follow my progress.\nAs I walked towards the stadium, an unexpected wave of emotion took over. Tears welled up as I felt the weight of the journey that had brought me to this moment. I wasn’t even at the start line yet, but I could already feel the gravity of the race—both the reward and the test of every bit of training. What was supposed to be the cherry on top suddenly felt like the scariest, biggest challenge ever.\nOnce I started running, though, I felt strong. My pace was steady, comfortable, almost effortless. I knew I didn’t want to push too hard, but I didn’t want to lag either. Maybe I’d gone out a little fast, but it felt right at the moment, and I found myself chatting with fellow runners, sharing the camaraderie of people who understood exactly what brought us here. Every timing mat I crossed was a small victory, knowing my friends and family could see my progress. Each beep kept me motivated to reach the next checkpoint just as strongly.\nAround 12km, I felt the familiar ache of the neuroma in my left foot—a pain I’d faced in training, though not quite like this. By 21km, it was worsening, and by 32km, the pain was excruciating, every step a fresh wave of agony. I’d known this might happen, but I hadn’t anticipated its intensity. Still, I was determined to finish, even if it meant slowing down and missing my goal. I’d come too far to stop.\nNear the end, as my watch marked 42.2km, I could see the finish line in the distance, about 600 metres away. The temptation to stop my watch and walk the final stretch was overwhelming. But I didn’t. I kept going, pushing through those last metres, feeling that incredible pride that comes with resilience and a strong finish.\nCrossing the finish line, I felt better than after my last two marathons, though still a bit unsteady on my feet. While it’s true that marathons become easier the more you do them, six hours is still a long time to run, and 42.2km is still a long way to go. Nothing compares to that feeling of accomplishment at the end, though.\nLast week, I told my running coach, \u0026ldquo;At least I can put running a sub-6-hour marathon to bed now.\u0026rdquo; It’s been a goal of mine for such a long time, and it feels surreal to finally achieve it. It isn’t easy to form a new goal now. Earlier this year, my coach suggested I print the goal out and put it up, which I did. I placed two posters up, one by my desk and another in our room. Right before leaving for Cape Town, I took down the poster by my desk; I reasoned that if I didn’t reach my goal, I didn’t want the reminder hanging there—especially since I’d already decided not to run a marathon next year. I’d intended to take down the one in our room too, but something else got my attention, and I forgot. Only when I landed in Cape Town did I remember that poster was still up, and I wanted to ask my husband to remove it—but I never got to it! So the poster was there when I got back, and I was glad it was still there.\nSharing this, I realise it sounds so personal, but I’ll admit: sometimes my goals feel ridiculous, especially in the company I keep. Like, who struggles to run a sub-6-hour marathon? I’ve been running for so long, and it’s not like I haven’t put in the work; it should be very manageable for me. Yet it’s not—I am not a natural runner. I know objectively that many people can’t hit this mark, and I also know that so many were cut off on race day and that I should feel so proud and grateful, which I am. But somehow, I still carry that imposter feeling. I wonder if I’ll ever get to a point in running where I don’t feel out of my depth.\nI once saw a shoelace tag that read, “Don’t stop until you’re proud.” I need that as my mantra and reminder for my next race.\nWhat does it mean to you to not stop until you\u0026rsquo;re proud?\n","permalink":"/blog/dont-stop-until-youre-proud/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe wind was howling when I awoke, long before dawn on race day. I’d listened to it since midnight, a constant, relentless reminder of the challenge awaiting me. Although I don\u0026rsquo;t consider myself a fair-weather runner, stepping out in weather like this is something I’d be hesitant to do even for a training run. But this wasn’t just any run; it was race day: the culmination of all the hours and countless kilometres.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Don't stop until you're proud"},{"content":"In less than a week I’ll be lining up for the 2024 Cape Town Marathon. Less than a week\u0026hellip; It\u0026rsquo;s hard to believe that by this time next week, the marathon I’ve dedicated so much to will already be behind me. The thought that I won’t run it next year makes me sad. (I’ve decided to focus on improving my 10km and 21km times next year, perhaps working towards a goal like a 2h30m half-marathon.)\nAs I reflect on my journey, I realise this hasn’t just been a few months of training; it’s been a full year – a demanding and rewarding one, and one I could never have pushed through without the support of my family, friends, and especially my running coach, who always goes above and beyond.\nI’d be lying if I said marathon training hasn’t taken over much of my life. At least six days a week, I’m up before dawn, heading out to tackle workouts that often last more than an hour (sometimes even two or three). After that, I dive into a full day of work, being a mum, wife, and friend. This year, I prioritised sleep, getting to bed by 8 pm most nights. I cut out alcohol, reduced my caffeine intake, and was fortunate enough to avoid illness that could have interrupted my training. Other than two missed sessions after the Elands Marathon due to a niggle in my right calf, I’ve been able to follow my training plan consistently. It’s been a long, tough year, but I also feel incredibly blessed – I’m stronger and fitter than I’ve been for both of my previous marathons.\nThis year, age and mileage caught up with me. I’ve had more than my fair share of niggles: patellar tendonitis in my left knee, the occasional grumbling from my left ITB, and what seems like Morton’s neuroma in my left foot. I’ve even joked that I need a whole new left leg! Since that’s not an option, I’ve had to make it work with chiropractic care and biokinetic exercises.\nSticking to a training programme consistently doesn’t come without mental challenges either. I had to keep motivating myself especially whenever I wasn’t reaching my goals. Over the last few weeks, I’ve mostly taken it one day at a time. Every day, I try to give feedback to my running coach, but even that has dried up. I found myself saying: “I don’t know what to say about my runs. They’re not good, they’re not bad, they just are. I’m just trying to get them done and ticked off.”\nI’m nervous about this weekend’s race. This is my third year chasing the same goal, and I hope it’s a case of third time lucky. I’m crossing my fingers for good weather and hoping all the hard work I’ve put in will finally pay off. I don’t have the best track record of reaching my marathon goal, and finally getting there would mean so much to me.\nLast week, one of my running friends shared something that felt like the perfect summary of this year’s training:\n\u0026ldquo;The secret is there is no secret. Consistency over intensity. Progress over perfection. Fundamentals over fads. Over and over again.\u0026rdquo;\n","permalink":"/blog/reflecting-on-my-2024-marathon-training/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIn less than a week I’ll be lining up for the 2024 Cape Town Marathon. Less than a week\u0026hellip; It\u0026rsquo;s hard to believe that by this time next week, the marathon I’ve dedicated so much to will already be behind me. The thought that I won’t run it next year makes me sad. (I’ve decided to focus on improving my 10km and 21km times next year, perhaps working towards a goal like a 2h30m half-marathon.)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Reflecting on my 2024 marathon training"},{"content":"Three weeks ago, just after 4:00 on a Sunday morning when I had a 15km run scheduled, I sent this message to my running coach:\n\u0026ldquo;I woke up on time to join Run Zone, but I’m still exhausted (despite going to bed before 19:00 last night). I can’t go on like this… I can’t wake up daily feeling like death warmed up and keep pushing through. I’m going back to sleep and will probably run the RH 5km route x3 later by myself.\u0026rdquo;\nThat message sparked a conversation that led to two clear options: either I reduce my training load and lower my expectations for this year’s Cape Town Marathon, or I quit marathon training altogether and return to focusing on 5km or 10km distances.\nThis is my third year training for the same marathon goal, so cutting back didn’t feel like something I could accept. But with only six weeks to go until race day, I wasn’t ready to quit either. So, I proposed a compromise: \u0026ldquo;Let’s give it two weeks. If I’m still struggling, I’ll go with option two.\u0026rdquo;\nThose two weeks flew by. During the first week, I struggled to feel like myself again, and I worried I’d have no choice but to give up. However, things began to shift, and I started feeling stronger each day. Two weeks later, I messaged my coach about the same topic again: \u0026ldquo;Can you believe how quickly time flies? It’s been two weeks, and I’m feeling a lot better. I want to continue marathon training and give Cape Town my best shot. What do you think?\u0026rdquo;\nThankfully, she agreed.\nThis experience made me reflect on how easily I used to consider giving up when things got hard. As soon as the wheels started coming off, my immediate reaction was to think that whatever I’d been doing up until then was no longer working—or maybe it never worked at all. I wanted to fix everything immediately or make drastic changes, hoping it would solve the problem. And if I didn’t have an immediate solution, I’d just quit altogether.\nWhen I recently spoke to a Weigh-Less group, one of the members told me she’d already decided, before her weigh-in, that if she didn’t lose weight that day, she wouldn’t return to the group. It reminded me of the ultimatums I used to set for myself—believing that if I didn’t see immediate results, there was no point in continuing. I was blackmailing my processes holding them ransom for results.\nBut the truth is, success—whether in marathon training, weight loss, or any other goal—rarely follows a straight path. It’s also not just about hitting targets. Sometimes, success means forming new habits, letting go of old ones, or shifting how I think.\nPeople often ask how I manage to stay motivated all the time. The reality is motivation ebbs and flows. There is no such thing as continuous motivation. The real challenge is handling the tough moments, the setbacks, and the times when things don’t go to plan. That’s when resilience kicks in—the ability to keep moving forward, even when everything seems to fall apart.\nI\u0026rsquo;ve realised that sometimes the best thing to do when I feel things are going wrong is… nothing. By continuing with what I’ve been doing, I give myself time—like I did with my training. I allow myself the opportunity to become calmer and clearer and to regroup. And if I do decide to quit after taking that time, I quit on my terms—not from a place of overwhelm or irrationality.\nHow often have you found yourself quitting, not on your terms, but out of frustration, emotional overwhelm or impatience?\n","permalink":"/blog/blackmailing-my-processes/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThree weeks ago, just after 4:00 on a Sunday morning when I had a 15km run scheduled, I sent this message to my running coach:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026ldquo;I woke up on time to join Run Zone, but I’m still exhausted (despite going to bed before 19:00 last night). I can’t go on like this… I can’t wake up daily feeling like death warmed up and keep pushing through. I’m going back to sleep and will probably run the RH 5km route x3 later by myself.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Blackmailing My Processes"},{"content":"I had the privilege of being invited to give a talk at a Weigh-Less group two weeks ago. From the moment I received the invitation, I was made to feel included and wanted. The group leader was caring and considerate, ensuring I felt valued even before I arrived.\nOnce I got there, the warmth and kindness only multiplied. The first member I met went above and beyond to make me comfortable, offering coffee multiple times and suggesting water or tea when I declined. She wasn\u0026rsquo;t taking no for an answer but in the most endearing way! I felt embraced by people who were genuinely happy to see me, even though I was a stranger to most of them. I felt at ease and not at all like an outsider.\nWhen I presented my talk, the audience was engaged, listening attentively and asking thoughtful questions throughout. In a beautiful gesture, they presented me with a gift afterwards to thank me. I returned home feeling loved and appreciated.\nReflecting on this experience, I now realise the power of being made to feel embraced, supported, and like we belong. It might sound cliché, but it’s not just about what we say or do, but how we make others feel. I’m convinced that the above-and-beyond welcoming atmosphere enabled me to deliver my talk with less reserve, more fluidity, and heartfelt emotion. I now ponder: how much more could we achieve if we were always made to feel this way?\nBelonging brings out our best. It unknowingly helps us flourish.\nCan you recall the last time you truly felt welcome and at ease? How did it impact you?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-power-of-feeling-welcome/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI had the privilege of being invited to give a talk at a Weigh-Less group two weeks ago. From the moment I received the invitation, I was made to feel included and wanted. The group leader was caring and considerate, ensuring I felt valued even before I arrived.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnce I got there, the warmth and kindness only multiplied. The first member I met went above and beyond to make me comfortable, offering coffee multiple times and suggesting water or tea when I declined. She wasn\u0026rsquo;t taking no for an answer but in the most endearing way! I felt embraced by people who were genuinely happy to see me, even though I was a stranger to most of them. I felt at ease and not at all like an outsider.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Power of Feeling Welcome"},{"content":"Currently, I find myself deep in the trenches of marathon training, experiencing a touch of deja vu. At this point, the excitement of signing up has long faded, and the reality of the hard work that the challenge demands is all too real. It’s hard not to ask myself: \u0026ldquo;Why did I sign up for this again?\u0026rdquo;\nMarathon training demands everything I’ve got—and then some. And the demands on me aren’t just physical. With four children writing tests, completing assignments, and partaking in Eisteddfod practices and performances, swimming galas, cycling tournaments, and school concerts, I juggle more than I often think possible. The days blur together in a whirlwind of activities, leaving little time to rest and recover, which I desperately need to keep up with my training.\nIt’s tough right now. The pressure of maintaining my training while trying to be there for my children in all the ways they need me (and be the best wife, friend, employee, or other role I can be) feels overwhelming. It’s tempting to let the frustration take over, to give in to the voice that says this is too much, and then roll over and sleep a little longer after my alarm has gone off. However, deep down, I know that real growth happens in these moments of struggle.\nWhile immense, the challenges are temporary — there\u0026rsquo;s a finish line (and a school holiday and tapering) ahead. Whether it\u0026rsquo;s accepting help from a friend, taking five minutes to breathe and reset amidst the chaos, or focussing on only one workout or one day at a time, I must keep pushing forward.\nIt’s okay to acknowledge the struggle, though. It doesn’t make me weaker; it makes me human. By embracing the difficulties, I learn to navigate them with grace and resilience — well, I hope!\nJust know that if you’re in the thick of it too, you’re not alone. The path may be tough, but the strength we find within ourselves and the support we gather from those around us make every step worthwhile.\nEvery time I find myself standing at the starting line of a race I’ve worked so hard to prepare for, I realise that everything accumulated to that point in time, and the gratitude of finally standing there makes me feel very emotional. And this year, I know, will be no different\u0026hellip;\n\u0026ldquo;Why did I sign up for this again?\u0026rdquo; I signed up because I never want to return to a complacent life again. I want to keep chasing the next goal and work towards the next dream — even if that means being in the thick of things now and then.\nHow do you cope when life feels too much to handle?\n","permalink":"/blog/in-the-thick-of-things/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eCurrently, I find myself deep in the trenches of marathon training, experiencing a touch of deja vu. At this point, the excitement of signing up has long faded, and the reality of the hard work that the challenge demands is all too real. It’s hard not to ask myself: \u0026ldquo;Why did I sign up for this again?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMarathon training demands everything I’ve got—and then some. And the demands on me aren’t just physical. With four children writing tests, completing assignments, and partaking in Eisteddfod practices and performances, swimming galas, cycling tournaments, and school concerts, I juggle more than I often think possible. The days blur together in a whirlwind of activities, leaving little time to rest and recover, which I desperately need to keep up with my training.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"In the Thick of Things"},{"content":"This year, I made a mindset shift that profoundly impacted my running and life.\nWorking with a coach comes with the benefit of having structured workouts, each with specific pace goals. Sometimes, these goals apply to the entire run; other times, my workouts are broken down into segments, each with its own target pace.\nLast year, I struggled to hit my pace goals. Workout after workout, I fell short, frustrating me to no end. Sometimes I wondered, “What’s the point of running if I can’t execute my workouts correctly?” It felt like I needed to hit those targets occasionally, at least, to keep my motivation alive.\nThis year hasn’t been much different in reaching those pace goals, but something inside me changed. Early on, I decided that instead of letting my watch’s reminder that I was running too slowly demoralize me, I would shift my thinking. Instead of, “I’m not going to make it,” I started telling myself, “Let’s see how close I can get.” This simple change in perspective has transformed my approach to running. It’s infused me with a relentless drive, pushing me to keep going even when I might fall short. I believe it’s also why I’ve recorded so many third or second-best times in my 5km, 10km, and 21km runs this year. In each of those runs, there was a moment when I realised I wouldn’t meet my goal, but because I was focused on getting as close as possible, quitting was never an option.\nSo, what has this mindset shift given me?\nIt’s given me a renewed outlook on my workouts and a sense of resilience I didn’t have before. I no longer feel disheartened when I miss a goal. Instead, I’m energized by how much closer I’m getting. While I am slightly disappointed when I miss a personal best by a few seconds, I’ve also had more reasons to celebrate this year. This shift in mindset has led to consistent improvement and a deeper appreciation for the journey itself.\nHow can you apply my mindset change to your life?\n","permalink":"/blog/how-close-can-i-get/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis year, I made a mindset shift that profoundly impacted my running and life.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorking with a coach comes with the benefit of having structured workouts, each with specific pace goals. Sometimes, these goals apply to the entire run; other times, my workouts are broken down into segments, each with its own target pace.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLast year, I struggled to hit my pace goals. Workout after workout, I fell short, frustrating me to no end. Sometimes I wondered, “What’s the point of running if I can’t execute my workouts correctly?” It felt like I needed to hit those targets occasionally, at least, to keep my motivation alive.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"How close can I get?"},{"content":"Recently, I had my first-ever podiatrist appointment. My left knee and foot have been troubling me since the beginning of the year and although my knee had finally improved, my foot did not follow suit, so I needed it checked by a professional.\nAt the start of the appointment, the podiatrist reviewed my medical history and running background. I explained that I began running at the end of 2018 and have undergone a significant transformation, losing 80kg since February 2017 and that it’s now been nearly five years since finishing my weight-loss journey. When asked about my maintenance journey, I explained that I stopped weighing myself at the end of 2021 and have no idea what my current weight is, but I manage my weight by exercising and eating well. I no longer wish to worry about or focus on the scale.\nThe podiatrist listened attentively and then said something that made my day: \u0026ldquo;Well, I think you are perfect just as you are.\u0026rdquo; Those words were so unexpected yet incredibly uplifting.\nIn our journey towards self-improvement, we often focus on internal validation—building self-esteem, confidence, and resilience from within. We usually have to cheer and motivate ourselves. While this is undeniably important, there are moments when external validation, especially from a stranger, can profoundly impact for various reasons.\nFirstly, it\u0026rsquo;s an affirmation from an unbiased source. A positive affirmation from someone with no preconceived notions about you or vested interest is sincere and objective. Hearing something like that reinforced the effort and dedication I am already putting into maintaining my health.\nSuch validation can also serve as a powerful motivator. Despite the occasional setbacks, I felt a renewed determination to continue on this path.\nExternal validation can also help shift our perspective and significantly boost our self-esteem. We often become our harshest critics, focusing on perceived flaws rather than achievements. A stranger\u0026rsquo;s positive remark can help us see ourselves in a more balanced and compassionate light.\nMany years ago, a friend told me that her mother always advised her to be generous with her kindness but selective with her friendships. We don’t need to be everyone’s best friend, but we can be generously kind, even to strangers.\nWhen last did you compliment a stranger?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-power-of-a-strangers-kind-words/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eRecently, I had my first-ever podiatrist appointment. My left knee and foot have been troubling me since the beginning of the year and although my knee had finally improved, my foot did not follow suit, so I needed it checked by a professional.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt the start of the appointment, the podiatrist reviewed my medical history and running background. I explained that I began running at the end of 2018 and have undergone a significant transformation, losing 80kg since February 2017 and that it’s now been nearly five years since finishing my weight-loss journey. When asked about my maintenance journey, I explained that I stopped weighing myself at the end of 2021 and have no idea what my current weight is, but I manage my weight by exercising and eating well. I no longer wish to worry about or focus on the scale.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Power of a Stranger's Kind Words"},{"content":"The week before last has been one of the coldest weeks I\u0026rsquo;ve ever experienced in the few short years that I\u0026rsquo;ve been running. Tuesday morning in particular was freezing cold, and many a morning I had to remind myself that I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t get another opportunity later in the day to run. So, I had better get out of my warm bed and face the cold—even if it meant dressing in double leggings, two tops, a windbreaker, gloves, and a buff to cover my ears.\nAlthough starting my runs is challenging when it\u0026rsquo;s so cold, once I get going and generate some heat, it\u0026rsquo;s not too bad. But I dare not stand still, or the cold will seep in and make me shiver again. This observation made me contemplate the importance of continuous movement, and I thought I could draw a metaphor here: When you keep moving, you generate warmth and momentum, both physically and metaphorically. Standing still, on the other hand, allows the cold—or life\u0026rsquo;s challenges—to seep in and take hold.\nThere is nothing more important than continuous, consistent effort. And there is nothing more difficult than finding the will to start again once you\u0026rsquo;ve stopped, especially when you know you need to work hard just to get back to where you used to be.\nFor example, if I think back to all the times I quit a diet for whatever reason and let life happen by eating whatever I wanted and all the wrong things, I quickly found myself \u0026ldquo;shivering\u0026rdquo; again. I wasn\u0026rsquo;t capable of clawing my way back unless I restarted.\nMany times, it feels like I\u0026rsquo;m trying and trying and never getting anywhere. And I\u0026rsquo;m sure you can relate. But it\u0026rsquo;s simply impossible for me to work so hard and not make progress—I must be. If I were to quit, I would ultimately end up back at block zero again, or perhaps even worse off than that. So, I choose to stay active, stay positive (perhaps the most difficult one), speak up when I need help, and keep pushing forward.\nRemember, progress is built on persistence, and even the smallest step forward keeps the cold at bay.\n","permalink":"/blog/its-only-cold-when-youre-standing-still/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe week before last has been one of the coldest weeks I\u0026rsquo;ve ever experienced in the few short years that I\u0026rsquo;ve been running. Tuesday morning in particular was freezing cold, and many a morning I had to remind myself that I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t get another opportunity later in the day to run. So, I had better get out of my warm bed and face the cold—even if it meant dressing in double leggings, two tops, a windbreaker, gloves, and a buff to cover my ears.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"It's only cold when you're standing still"},{"content":"I once read something like this: \u0026ldquo;Aim for the stars, and if you miss, you\u0026rsquo;re likely to reach the moon still.\u0026rdquo; Or something like that\u0026hellip;\nBut what if the moon is not where you want to be?\nLast week, I had one of my best runs in nearly three years. It was my third-best time and pace ever. I\u0026rsquo;ve worked incredibly hard for this run to go so well. Every stride, every breath, and every drop of sweat has been a testament to my dedication. Achieving this time is an amazing milestone, especially considering the challenging year I have had thus far. It\u0026rsquo;s a reminder of my progress and resilience.\nOn paper, it sounds like I should be over the moon with happiness, and yet, I find myself grappling with a mix of pride and disappointment. How can one do so well and yet feel a twinge of letdown?\nThe thing is, I missed my personal best by just a few seconds. And it is that personal best time that I was aiming for. I was aiming for the stars and landed on the moon. And I hate how those elusive seconds have a way of overshadowing the broader achievement.\nIt feels silly, and I worry I might come across as ungrateful or even spoiled for not being ecstatic. It\u0026rsquo;s odd how you can\u0026rsquo;t make yourself feel a certain way, even if you know you should. Feelings are strange things\u0026hellip;\nI wonder when I lost the ability to recognise and celebrate incremental progress. One of the things that helped so much with motivation on my 80kg weight loss journey was to focus on just the next 8kg to lose and celebrate each increment properly. There is no way one can work hard all the time, week in and week out, year in and year out, without celebrating the milestones along the way.\nSomehow, I am slipping back into that perfectionist side of me—and I need to stop it. While it\u0026rsquo;s natural to aim high, it\u0026rsquo;s equally important to acknowledge how far we\u0026rsquo;ve come. And no one, surely, should know that better than me.\nSo, what lesson do I take from this? It\u0026rsquo;s a lesson in perspective, and understanding that every step forward, no matter how small, is already a victory. It\u0026rsquo;s about balancing ambition with gratitude and finding joy in the journey, not just the destination.\nCelebrate landing on the moon!\nThis week\u0026rsquo;s newsletter marks one year of writing newsletters! This is a project I am thoroughly enjoying. Thank you for reading my accounts of all my mental ramblings, and for all the supportive feedback I receive with each new edition.\n","permalink":"/blog/go-away-perfectionism/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI once read something like this: \u0026ldquo;Aim for the stars, and if you miss, you\u0026rsquo;re likely to reach the moon still.\u0026rdquo; Or something like that\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut what if the moon is not where you want to be?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLast week, I had one of my best runs in nearly three years. It was my third-best time and pace ever. I\u0026rsquo;ve worked incredibly hard for this run to go so well. Every stride, every breath, and every drop of sweat has been a testament to my dedication. Achieving this time is an amazing milestone, especially considering the challenging year I have had thus far. It\u0026rsquo;s a reminder of my progress and resilience.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Go away perfectionism!"},{"content":"While stuck in traffic for three hours on the way back from Comrades the evening after the race, I sat in the car contemplating whether I would ever volunteer at the Comrades again. It had been a long day; we had all worked exceptionally hard and were hungry, tired, and not in the volunteering mood anymore. I didn\u0026rsquo;t share this thought with my friends, but I\u0026rsquo;m sure we all felt the same way then. Yet, as the week progressed, the idea of helping out again seemed more and more appealing to me.\nWanting to tackle something challenging and hard again after hardly finishing it is not uncommon – and certainly not reserved just for runners or volunteers. I signed up for my next marathon merely two days after completing my first – and I had a tough day on the road during that first marathon! Many Comrades runners are already itching to start training for Comrades 2025.\nBut why do we keep wanting to put ourselves through such hardship? To an outsider, it must look like self-inflicted suffering.\nWhen I consider the emotions I experience when taking on something challenging, it usually goes like this: At first, there\u0026rsquo;s the excitement of signing up or deciding that this is something I will do. Then there are months of training, planning, and hard work to get everything into place. This phase often involves significant time, energy, and monetary sacrifices, as well as frustration and exhaustion. When D-day finally arrives, it\u0026rsquo;s accompanied by a surge of nervous energy and the greatest feeling of accomplishment once everything is done. Finally, there’s usually a bit of an anti-climax as I deal with the aftermath: cleaning up, recovering, and healing any injuries. Then, after I’ve recovered, I find myself wanting to do it again or set my sights on an even bigger goal.\nThis process was unfamiliar to me until I started training for marathons. I didn’t grow up with examples of others chasing goals and dreams. And no, it’s not even the same as losing 80kg (176lbs). While standing on the scale after losing all that weight felt like a great accomplishment, it’s not a process I wish to go through again. It was more of a healing journey than a \u0026rsquo;live life fully\u0026rsquo; experience. Now that I’ve tasted living a life with purpose, chasing goals and growing, I can’t imagine living any other way. Anything else would feel\u0026hellip; empty.\nI guess that’s why we do it. It’s in setting goals, working hard towards them, and finally achieving them that we grow and truly live fully.\nWhen last did you do something that excited or scared you or pushed your limits?\n","permalink":"/blog/why-do-we-keep-self-inflicting-suffering/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWhile stuck in traffic for three hours on the way back from Comrades the evening after the race, I sat in the car contemplating whether I would ever volunteer at the Comrades again. It had been a long day; we had all worked exceptionally hard and were hungry, tired, and not in the volunteering mood anymore. I didn\u0026rsquo;t share this thought with my friends, but I\u0026rsquo;m sure we all felt the same way then. Yet, as the week progressed, the idea of helping out again seemed more and more appealing to me.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Why do we keep self-inflicting \"suffering\"?"},{"content":"This past weekend, my friends and I had the incredible opportunity to support our fellow runners participating in the 2024 Comrades Marathon. We assisted 41 runners from various clubs, ensuring their race nutrition was prepared and handed over 30km into the race. Most of these runners train with us under Michelle\u0026rsquo;s guidance, and a few close friends also entrusted us with their race needs.\nOrganising this effort required extensive planning and hard work. I never anticipated an easy task; I knew it would be challenging and exhausting. Watching the Comrades from my living room is a far cry from being out there on the ground. Watching the finish line live was intense and emotional—I often found myself in tears—but while working at our station, we had no time for emotions as we focused on our responsibilities.\nThis weekend taught me a lot about teamwork and friendship. I realised I have amazing friends who are reliable and supportive. We worked together so well, leveraging each person\u0026rsquo;s strengths. Managing the runners\u0026rsquo; nutrition packets was stressful, but seeing their gratitude made it worthwhile. The highlight was witnessing some of the runners we supported cross the finish line. We created unforgettable memories and shared laughs over our mishaps and unexpected events.\nTo summarise our weekend, I’d use the words Passion, Purpose, High-strung, Stressful, and Rewarding. While running on the Umhlanga promenade on Saturday morning, I overheard a group of ladies discussing marathon training in general. They couldn\u0026rsquo;t fathom the commitment required, noting the hours of training and sacrifices. I turned around and said, \u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s not that bad.\u0026rdquo; And I genuinely meant it. It\u0026rsquo;s tough when you\u0026rsquo;re in the trenches pushing through training, but I cannot imagine life any other way. There is magic in working hard towards a specific goal and then going out there and achieving that goal—how can that ever be a bad thing? Is that not what life is all about?\nSomething so touching on our way back to Johannesburg was watching the Comrades runners at the places we stopped, proudly wearing their medals and finisher jackets. If I ever were to find myself in the same position (and I am still many years from there), having just completed the Comrades Marathon, I imagine I\u0026rsquo;d cry and sleep for a week. And I’d proudly wear my medal for at least a week—perhaps even keep it under my shirt afterwards for another few weeks.\nWatch my reel on our weekend here.\n","permalink":"/blog/comrades-2024/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis past weekend, my friends and I had the incredible opportunity to support our fellow runners participating in the 2024 Comrades Marathon. We assisted 41 runners from various clubs, ensuring their race nutrition was prepared and handed over 30km into the race. Most of these runners train with us under Michelle\u0026rsquo;s guidance, and a few close friends also entrusted us with their race needs.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrganising this effort required extensive planning and hard work. I never anticipated an easy task; I knew it would be challenging and exhausting. Watching the Comrades from my living room is a far cry from being out there on the ground. Watching the finish line live was intense and emotional—I often found myself in tears—but while working at our station, we had no time for emotions as we focused on our responsibilities.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Comrades 2024"},{"content":"Recently, a reader of mine, who has become a friend over the past two years, completed her first marathon. One of the first questions she ever asked me was on how to rekindle self-love. The completion of her inaugural marathon made me think back to this question. I felt the need to revisit my answer, and I wondered if, during her marathon training, my friend discovered an answer of her own to her original question.\nPeople are born with self-love. Babies naturally love themselves—you can see it when they laugh and smile at their reflections in the mirror. When they walk, dance, or play, they do so with complete abandon, untroubled by others\u0026rsquo; opinions. Even when they begin to speak, they express exactly what they want to say, straightforwardly. Children don\u0026rsquo;t worry about others\u0026rsquo; perceptions; they believe they are adorable and amazing, and their actions reflect this. However, as we grow older, and it doesn’t take long past the baby stage, the actions and words of others start to erode this self-love.\nWe are not invited to a party. No friends want to play with us during recess. Someone comments on our appearance. Our parents scold us. We fail a test. We stutter, and other kids laugh at us. Our partners break up with us. Job interview after job interview is unsuccessful. People treat us with disrespect, and so on. The blows that life deals can eventually make anyone believe they are uninteresting, unwanted, stupid, ugly, and even unworthy of love. You may even start to hate yourself and your body.\nNo one escapes rejection or hearing something hurtful at some point in life. Some people\u0026rsquo;s personalities and self-belief are strong enough to fend off these attacks. Many people are fortunate to have a support network that can provide encouraging words and even help to refill that self-love tank. (By the way, with my children, I often say something good about them out loud to someone else, knowing they are within earshot.) Quite a few people resort to external means to soothe themselves and feel better temporarily. Some fall deeper and deeper into a pit of depression.\nBut what if, after many years of breakdown, you reach a point where you want to learn to love yourself again? How do you do it?\nWhile I don\u0026rsquo;t have definitive answers, I do know the following:\nIt\u0026rsquo;s not an overnight process; you have to be patient. The answer is not in hours of pampering, nails, nice clothes, or makeup. Someone who loves you immensely and wants to see you shine helps. Having someone to love helps. Listing the lies you believe about yourself, including why you believe them, and working through them objectively with someone helps. Forgiving helps. Starting to notice your good points and talents helps. Doing the things you love helps. Goals to work towards help. Jentezen Franklin says: \u0026ldquo;Love like you\u0026rsquo;ve never been hurt.\u0026rdquo; Sometimes this is one of the hardest things for me to do. When I\u0026rsquo;ve been hurt, my first instinct is to protect myself, to withdraw, to start giving less, to engage less, to keep more to myself and become more self-reliant. While I believe that in loving less I love others less, I wonder if I don\u0026rsquo;t end up loving myself less. And if I do it, how many others do it too?\nHow do you believe one should go about rekindling self-love?\n","permalink":"/blog/love-yourself-like-youve-never-been-hurt/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eRecently, a reader of mine, who has become a friend over the past two years, completed her first marathon. One of the first questions she ever asked me was on how to rekindle self-love. The completion of her inaugural marathon made me think back to this question. I felt the need to revisit my answer, and I wondered if, during her marathon training, my friend discovered an answer of her own to her original question.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Love Yourself Like You've Never Been Hurt"},{"content":"Over the past two weeks, I\u0026rsquo;ve seen two inspiring stories on my social media feed of individuals who underwent bariatric surgery and became avid runners. I don\u0026rsquo;t know a diplomatic way to say this so I will say it straight up: These stories always make me feel so jealous. But upon deeper reflection, I realise it\u0026rsquo;s not just jealousy I sense; there\u0026rsquo;s also a profound admiration for their determination and the support they received through their journey.\nI fully acknowledge that bariatric surgery isn\u0026rsquo;t an easy solution—I\u0026rsquo;ve witnessed enough of the struggles and lows of friends and acquaintances to understand that. However, it does seem like it could offer significant support, particularly for someone like me, tasked with maintaining a substantial weight loss. Sometimes, keeping off 80kg solely through only dietary changes and exercise feels like an insurmountable challenge. There are days when I also think \u0026lsquo;What is the point?\u0026rsquo; or \u0026lsquo;Why does everything always have to be so hard?\u0026rsquo;, and I wish for additional assistance to complement my consistent hard work.\nAcknowledging and dissecting this feeling of jealousy and admiration has made me realise how exhausted I feel from always showing up and working hard. Achieving my target weight almost four and a half years ago wasn\u0026rsquo;t the end of the journey; rather, it marked the beginning of a constant battle against old habits and my inherent predisposition to obesity. What frustrates me most is the oversimplified advice often offered on social media when others ask for advice on losing weight: \u0026lsquo;Just eat less.\u0026rsquo; It\u0026rsquo;s not that simple, and neither is maintaining.\nSurely, I can\u0026rsquo;t be the only one who yearns, at times, for a helping hand? That\u0026rsquo;s why I\u0026rsquo;m writing today\u0026rsquo;s newsletter on tips for coping with exhaustion while persistently fighting obesity or a predisposition to obesity, even when the odds seem overwhelmingly stacked against you.\nSeek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network, whether it comprises friends, family, or a support group. Sharing your struggles and triumphs with others who understand can provide invaluable encouragement. My running community is a wonderful form of support and encouragement - I cannot imagine how I would\u0026rsquo;ve coped with especially my training program without them. Prioritise Healthy Habits: Instead of fixating solely on the number on the scale, concentrate on adopting healthy habits that benefit you physically and mentally. This might include regular exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques. For over two years now, I\u0026rsquo;ve refrained from weighing myself, a choice that has significantly shifted my focus away from the scale to sustainable, healthy habits. Practice Mindful Eating: Listen to your body\u0026rsquo;s hunger and fullness cues, and cultivate mindful eating habits to prevent overeating or emotional eating. When I somehow find myself about to devour a cookie, a spoonful of peanut butter or whatever else I didn\u0026rsquo;t intend on eating, I find it helpful to speak my behaviour and the possible consequences of it out loud - which must sound ridiculous to my husband! (This was a piece of advice I read in \u0026ldquo;Atomic Habits\u0026rdquo; by James Clear) Be Kind to Yourself: Embrace self-compassion and acknowledge that setbacks are a natural part of any journey. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes, you can focus on steps you can take to move forward and maintain momentum. I don\u0026rsquo;t beat myself up over things that I shouldn\u0026rsquo;t eat. Instead, I try to enjoy and savour it and then focus on making my next meal as healthy as possible again. Leverage Your Strengths: Although it may feel as though the odds are perpetually stacked against you, there are undoubtedly strengths you possess that can work in your favour. For instance, I find solace in my analytical nature and passion for writing. Often, I can work my issues out by putting pen to paper and unravelling my thoughts and emotions. I also consider myself a resourceful person. Once I understand my problem better I can usually figure out a solution using the resources I have at my disposal. Remember, every journey is unique, and there\u0026rsquo;s no one-size-fits-all solution. How do you navigate that feeling of being exhausted from just constantly keeping at it?\n","permalink":"/blog/navigating-weight-management-exhaustion/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eOver the past two weeks, I\u0026rsquo;ve seen two inspiring stories on my social media feed of individuals who underwent bariatric surgery and became avid runners. I don\u0026rsquo;t know a diplomatic way to say this so I will say it straight up: These stories always make me feel so jealous. But upon deeper reflection, I realise it\u0026rsquo;s not just jealousy I sense; there\u0026rsquo;s also a profound admiration for their determination and the support they received through their journey.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Navigating Weight Management Exhaustion"},{"content":"This past week, a post in a weight loss group I follow struck a chord:\n\u0026ldquo;I so desperately want to join but am afraid I\u0026rsquo;ll fail again.\u0026rdquo;\nThis post makes it seem like there are only two options: either you\u0026rsquo;re following a program or you\u0026rsquo;re not (and there\u0026rsquo;s a leap of faith to take between the two options). But it\u0026rsquo;s not that simple. There\u0026rsquo;s more nuance to it. Yet, many hold onto this binary belief, which, in my opinion, is the main reason why most diets fail.\nWhen starting a new eating plan, many dive in headfirst. But when they stumble, they often fall spectacularly, returning to old habits with fervour. Or their motivation just lasts while there are results. The moment they regress or hit a plateau, their fallback is not to keep sticking at it consistently but rather to give up.\nI\u0026rsquo;ve battled obesity since the age of four. My younger sister faced the same struggles. I recall our teenage conversations, longing to shed excess weight so we could eat \u0026ldquo;normally\u0026rdquo; again. But for us, normal eating wasn\u0026rsquo;t healthy at all. Back then, we viewed diets as temporary, a necessary evil to endure until we could return to our old ways.\nAs I\u0026rsquo;ve grown older, I\u0026rsquo;ve learned that weight loss isn\u0026rsquo;t a one-off endeavour. It requires a lifelong commitment. Maintaining lost weight is tough, as is sticking to a chosen eating plan to lose weight - a harsh reality for many. But it\u0026rsquo;s not about black-and-white thinking. In a world where permanent change is the goal, an all-or-nothing mindset doesn\u0026rsquo;t work. It\u0026rsquo;s about embracing an \u0026lsquo;always something\u0026rsquo; approach, allowing the occasional slip-up.\nFor almost five years now, I\u0026rsquo;ve lived by this mantra. It\u0026rsquo;s reshaped my relationship with food and led me to a balance between following my plan and enjoying life\u0026rsquo;s pleasures. Though I\u0026rsquo;m still navigating this journey, I\u0026rsquo;m closer than ever to the stable, healthy lifestyle I\u0026rsquo;ve always yearned for.\nDo you agree with me? Do you also think the inability to embrace an \u0026lsquo;always something\u0026rsquo; approach is the main reason most diets fail?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-reason-most-diets-fail/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThis past week, a post in a weight loss group I follow struck a chord:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026ldquo;I so desperately want to join but am afraid I\u0026rsquo;ll fail again.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis post makes it seem like there are only two options: either you\u0026rsquo;re following a program or you\u0026rsquo;re not (and there\u0026rsquo;s a leap of faith to take between the two options). But it\u0026rsquo;s not that simple. There\u0026rsquo;s more nuance to it. Yet, many hold onto this binary belief, which, in my opinion, is the main reason why most diets fail.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The reason most diets fail"},{"content":"Last Wednesday, as usual, I was out for an early morning run. On my way back to my car, I passed by a homeless person. It was evident that he had spent the night nearby, as he was busy preparing for the day ahead, applying deodorant spray to his upper body.\nObserving this scene, I couldn\u0026rsquo;t help but notice the disparity between his circumstances and the small act of self-care he engaged in. Despite his lack of access to basic amenities like regular bathing, his decision to apply deodorant spoke volumes about his resilience and sense of dignity. To an outsider like myself, his situation might have seemed hopeless. However, he still cared and retained some hope.\nThis encounter prompted me to reflect on a question that has been weighing on my mind: \u0026lsquo;Are we only worthy when we achieve?\u0026rsquo; While I know the answer is a resounding \u0026lsquo;No, we are inherently worthy,\u0026rsquo; the question has been weighing on my mind because societal norms often seem to suggest otherwise. The praise and recognition typically reserved for achievements can overshadow the value of simply persevering through life\u0026rsquo;s challenges.\nIn our culture of accolades and milestones, it\u0026rsquo;s easy to overlook the significance of everyday resilience and determination. The neverending pursuit of success can overshadow the quiet strength found in enduring adversity and continuing to strive, even in the absence of immediate results.\nUltimately, this encounter served as a reminder that worthiness is not dependent upon achievements, but rather inherent in our humanity - a lesson I want to remember as I navigate the complexities of daily life.\nDo you ever believe that worth, happiness, success, or whatever else you strive for only comes after reaching a specific milestone?\nWhat will it take to make you see that it is in the daily grindstone of life that you have to find that which you long for?\nSide note: Remember to also compliment consistency when you notice it in your friends\u0026rsquo; efforts.\n","permalink":"/blog/are-we-only-worthy-when-we-achieve/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eLast Wednesday, as usual, I was out for an early morning run. On my way back to my car, I passed by a homeless person. It was evident that he had spent the night nearby, as he was busy preparing for the day ahead, applying deodorant spray to his upper body.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eObserving this scene, I couldn\u0026rsquo;t help but notice the disparity between his circumstances and the small act of self-care he engaged in. Despite his lack of access to basic amenities like regular bathing, his decision to apply deodorant spoke volumes about his resilience and sense of dignity. To an outsider like myself, his situation might have seemed hopeless. However, he still cared and retained some hope.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Are we only worthy when we achieve?"},{"content":"In recent months, I\u0026rsquo;ve been pushing myself hard, especially in my 5km time trials. And it\u0026rsquo;s paying off—I can now run them about 4 minutes faster than I could at the start of the year.\nWhen I\u0026rsquo;m honest about it, I have to admit that, in general, working hard sucks. It\u0026rsquo;s tough to always be up by 4:30 so I can hit the road early enough to be at my desk in time for my workday to start. It\u0026rsquo;s hard to keep at it consistently. When I then add extra pressure on myself to push even harder during a time trial, it\u0026rsquo;s exhausting and leaves me tired for days. Yet I can\u0026rsquo;t stop smiling when things work out as planned. The benefits must outweigh the tiredness, as it\u0026rsquo;s not just about feeling happy.\nHere\u0026rsquo;s why I do it:\nIt lets me dream and imagine achieving goals I never thought possible. I learn to face my fear of failing. Every time I start a time trial, I\u0026rsquo;m nervous—I want to do well; I don\u0026rsquo;t want to fail. Dealing with setbacks or runs that don\u0026rsquo;t go as planned teaches me resilience. I\u0026rsquo;ve come to accept that progress can never be linear. Every time I push myself harder, I grow a little more. I figure out what I need when I\u0026rsquo;m working hard—focus, distraction, or breaks. Achieving or even surpassing my goals feels amazing. Nothing beats that feeling. I find out who supports me and cheers me on. I decipher how to support myself—when no one is cheering me on or waiting for me at the finish line. Most importantly, it boosts my confidence—I believe more in what I can do. Have you ever pushed yourself way out of your comfort zone to a place you never dreamed possible? What was it like for you?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-benefits-of-pushing-limits/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIn recent months, I\u0026rsquo;ve been pushing myself hard, especially in my 5km time trials. And it\u0026rsquo;s paying off—I can now run them about 4 minutes faster than I could at the start of the year.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I\u0026rsquo;m honest about it, I have to admit that, in general, working hard sucks. It\u0026rsquo;s tough to always be up by 4:30 so I can hit the road early enough to be at my desk in time for my workday to start. It\u0026rsquo;s hard to keep at it consistently. When I then add extra pressure on myself to push even harder during a time trial, it\u0026rsquo;s exhausting and leaves me tired for days. Yet I can\u0026rsquo;t stop smiling when things work out as planned. The benefits must outweigh the tiredness, as it\u0026rsquo;s not just about feeling happy.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Benefits of Pushing Limits"},{"content":"At a recent business update session, as a motivational talk, we discussed limiting beliefs, which made me think of something I wrote in \u0026lsquo;My First Marathon Training\u0026rsquo;:\n\u0026ldquo;There are two things I believe about myself and running: I don’t have it in me to run the second half of a long run faster than the first. I cannot run much faster than I currently do.\u0026rdquo;\nOriginally, I considered the above two beliefs as just me being realistic (which is also important to be from time to time). But after our business update session, I can now see they were limiting beliefs, as I\u0026rsquo;ve since proven both wrong and for a long time, I was scared to, for example, start a long run cautiously to finish it stronger. That is the problem with limiting beliefs. They prevent us from trying.\nThe following are common limiting beliefs:\nFear of failure: Because I am scared of what will happen when I fail, I don\u0026rsquo;t dare to try.\nRemembering past failures: Perhaps I was brave enough to try something in the past, and didn\u0026rsquo;t succeed or had an undesirable outcome; now I cannot bring myself to try it again.\nI\u0026rsquo;m not good enough: My skills, talents, or experience are not adequate or worthy enough. There are so many others better than me. Why waste my time trying? (Something I often find myself doing is checking the expected pace for a track session and, knowing that I cannot run at that pace yet, demotivate myself.)\nIt\u0026rsquo;s all or nothing: If I cannot do something perfectly, then I might as well not do it at all.\nImposter syndrome: I am not a writer/presenter/influencer/etc. I am a mom and a software developer. I should stick to what I know and am experienced in. Personal growth and change are not possible for me.\nIt is too late: The thing I\u0026rsquo;d like to do is going to take too long. I don\u0026rsquo;t have time to do it or I am not willing to wait that long. Or the opportunity to do it has already passed.\nFear of rejection: What will other people say when I do this? I am scared of being criticised or rejected.\nI\u0026rsquo;m not lucky: The whole universe conspires against me anyway. I can never seem to catch a break.\nWhat are your limiting beliefs, and what have those beliefs stolen from you?\n","permalink":"/blog/limiting-beliefs/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAt a recent business update session, as a motivational talk, we discussed limiting beliefs, which made me think of something I wrote in \u0026lsquo;My First Marathon Training\u0026rsquo;:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026ldquo;There are two things I believe about myself and running: I don’t have it in me to run the second half of a long run faster than the first. I cannot run much faster than I currently do.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOriginally, I considered the above two beliefs as just me being realistic (which is also important to be from time to time). But after our business update session, I can now see they were limiting beliefs, as I\u0026rsquo;ve since proven both wrong and for a long time, I was scared to, for example, start a long run cautiously to finish it stronger. That is the problem with limiting beliefs. They prevent us from trying.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Limiting beliefs"},{"content":"\u0026ldquo;I am not where I want to be yet, but I feel empowered and supported to get there.\u0026rdquo;\nThese were my words to my coach when I thanked her two weeks ago for coaching me this past year. It is not like I pondered for long on what to say to her. The words just sort of slipped out - since then, these words have been milling around in my mind.\nEmpowered. Supported.\nPerhaps these two words are the secret to change and growth—or at least play a big part.\nThinking of my work in trying to spread my story, I can only hope that those who hear it feel empowered by what they learn from me and the lessons I\u0026rsquo;ve learned and supported in knowing that they\u0026rsquo;re not alone. Thinking of myself in my day-to-day living and struggles being empowered with knowledge and sound advice, and enjoying the support of those close to me, plays a big role in my success.\nThis past weekend, I ran my first half marathon of 2024, and I am elated to say that I ran a personal best half marathon time, especially since my previous personal best half marathon was nearly two years ago. While I was the one who had to put in the work and the early mornings, and while it is true that it was my legs and feet that had to get me to the finish line, I couldn\u0026rsquo;t have done it without the knowledge and experience, and support of many others—especially my coach. I genuinely feel empowered and supported.\nWho makes you feel empowered and supported?\n","permalink":"/blog/empowered-and-supported/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026ldquo;I am not where I want to be yet, but I feel empowered and supported to get there.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese were my words to my coach when I thanked her two weeks ago for coaching me this past year. It is not like I pondered for long on what to say to her. The words just sort of slipped out - since then, these words have been milling around in my mind.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Empowered and supported"},{"content":"Recently, I had the honour of pacing a fellow runner on her 5 km time trial. Pacing someone is a stressful task to undertake. I was mainly worried about disappointing her by not having her reach her target.\nBeforehand, I worked out a pacing strategy for us, taking into account the elevation gain of the route we were going to run. This pacing strategy should\u0026rsquo;ve comfortably gotten us to 40 minutes, maybe even a bit faster if we could finish strong.\nBut life never exactly works out as planned. Halfway through our run, just as we hit probably the most challenging section of our route, she started throwing up - twice! I was obviously pushing her too hard.\nIf I were in her position, I would probably have felt like quitting right then and there, and I was sort of expecting her to. But she didn\u0026rsquo;t quit. Instead, she pulled herself together and completed the last half of her time trial, finishing just 40 seconds more than the time she had hoped for, which was a season\u0026rsquo;s best time for her. We\u0026rsquo;ll try again another day to break that 40-minute barrier.\nHer story makes me think of a quote I recently posted on my blog: \u0026ldquo;The race isn\u0026rsquo;t always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.\u0026rdquo;\nYes, being patient is hard.\nYes, sticking with the plan every day, week in and week out, come rain or shine is hard.\nYes, there are going to be many times that you want to give up.\nYes, picking yourself up from a stumble takes courage.\nBut, you\u0026rsquo;re capable of more than you imagine yourself to be if you just don\u0026rsquo;t give up.\n","permalink":"/blog/keep-on-running/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eRecently, I had the honour of pacing a fellow runner on her 5 km time trial. Pacing someone is a stressful task to undertake. I was mainly worried about disappointing her by not having her reach her target.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeforehand, I worked out a pacing strategy for us, taking into account the elevation gain of the route we were going to run. This pacing strategy should\u0026rsquo;ve comfortably gotten us to 40 minutes, maybe even a bit faster if we could finish strong.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Keep on running"},{"content":"A weekend ago, one of my MCM friends joined me for a RunZone club run - which is, of course, a much larger attended session than a session of our small regular training group. We run at a similar pace, and during our run, we talked about how refreshing it was to not be at the back of the pack but surrounded by so many other runners also running at our pace.\nOur conversation made me think of all the various elements one needs in a support group.\nA wise quote, of which the author the internet seems to be in disagreement about, goes like this: \u0026lsquo;If you\u0026rsquo;re the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.\u0026rsquo; If I draw a parallel between this quote and a running community, I would say that always being the fastest in your group is impressive, but it\u0026rsquo;s not necessarily going to push you to push harder.\nBut always being the slowest is not that great either - and I would know\u0026hellip; You need a little bit of a mix of both. Someone to be inspired by that can push you. And peers at your level to not always make you feel like it\u0026rsquo;s your first time at a gym or your first day at a new job.\nThe reality is, however, that it is not always a given that you are going to find that mix - especially not when attempting something new. You are more likely to be the inexperienced one for some time - even a long time. But you shouldn\u0026rsquo;t let that deter you from starting. It is a great thing to venture out of your comfort zone. And you never know who you might inspire by being that peer making it easier for them to also take the leap.\nAnd before you know it, you might even become an expert.\nWhat community or group have you joined that you were initially scared to do, but afterwards realised was probably one of your best life decisions?\n","permalink":"/blog/support-groups/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eA weekend ago, one of my \u003ca href="/%22https://michellecoachmee.co.za//%22/u003eMCM/u003c/a/u003e/index.html" friends joined me for a \u003ca href="/%22https://runzone.co.za//%22/u003eRunZone/u003c/a/u003e/index.html" club run - which is, of course, a much larger attended session than a session of our small regular training group. We run at a similar pace, and during our run, we talked about how refreshing it was to not be at the back of the pack but surrounded by so many other runners also running at our pace.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Support groups"},{"content":"I don\u0026rsquo;t know what to write about today; I don\u0026rsquo;t feel like I have any words of wisdom to share. However, I also don\u0026rsquo;t want to break my writing streak. There is something about committing to myself and sticking to that commitment that cements the idea of the type of person I wish to be.\nThese past two weeks have been all about getting back into a routine. I\u0026rsquo;ve been slowly but surely getting back into a proper training routine again, been back at work, and the children have started going back to school. As I wait for the dust to settle from the whirlwind of restarted activities so we can find our rhythm again, I try to take a step back and look at my life from the outside in, which looks like a completely different life than the one I had before.\nThings that irked me in my previous life were the way I used to yo-yo diet all the time; I never exercised and developed an obsession with my scale, often weighing myself three times a day. I was also not a morning person and would often not sleep well and then oversleep.\nThings that I feel proud of now are that I exercise hard according to a routine, get up early in the mornings (often without an alarm), and sleep well. I haven\u0026rsquo;t weighed myself in more than two years now. I cook most of our meals from scratch using fresh ingredients, as healthy as I can.\nI am not perfect, and my weight is not perfect, but I have made peace with how I look and have respect for my strong body and everything it has achieved. I feel like I lead a normal healthy life. And I know for a fact that I never want to go back to a life of dieting ever again.\nHowever, I am not complacent. There are still things I want to do and improve upon, new areas I want to grow into, and talents I want to develop. I believe it is important to acknowledge how far one has come and be happy with that progress but not to stop growing and working on oneself.\nHow have these past two weeks been for you?\n","permalink":"/blog/consistently-sticking-to-commitments/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t know what to write about today; I don\u0026rsquo;t feel like I have any words of wisdom to share. However, I also don\u0026rsquo;t want to break my writing streak. There is something about committing to myself and sticking to that commitment that cements the idea of the type of person I wish to be.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese past two weeks have been all about getting back into a routine. I\u0026rsquo;ve been slowly but surely getting back into a proper training routine again, been back at work, and the children have started going back to school. As I wait for the dust to settle from the whirlwind of restarted activities so we can find our rhythm again, I try to take a step back and look at my life from the outside in, which looks like a completely different life than the one I had before.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Consistently sticking to commitments"},{"content":"We\u0026rsquo;ve all been there. We want to eat healthier. We want to exercise more. But when push comes to shove and we are back in our routine, and life becomes busy again, we forget about our good intentions to eat healthily or exercise more - until the next new year, that is.\nGood intentions often remain just that. Why?\nPerhaps pulling a metaphor for this problem closer would help explain it better. A friend and I have been saying for at least the past six months now that we should grab a coffee together at some stage. Every time I see her at school or next to the sports field, we would reiterate this good intention. I would say, \u0026ldquo;Send me a message with a time that would work for you,\u0026rdquo; and the next message from her is to ask what today\u0026rsquo;s homework was. Or she would say, \u0026ldquo;Let me know when you would like to go.\u0026rdquo; But then the next thing I need to know from her is whether she\u0026rsquo;s perhaps seen my son\u0026rsquo;s lost shoes. And so it goes on. Life is just too busy.\nBut I bet if we arranged a date, time, and venue, we would be far more likely to go on our coffee date. Right?\nThe same is true for other good intentions. We are more likely to see something through once there is already a plan in place.\nI believe one of the reasons why I manage to stick with running so well is that I follow a worked-out plan. If I had to rely on myself and get up each morning to go for some random run, I would have probably been far less successful.\nDon\u0026rsquo;t let the good intentions you have for yourself this year roll over to next year again. Draw up your plan for making that happen or ask an expert to help you with such a plan.\n","permalink":"/blog/why-good-intentions-alone-dont-work/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe\u0026rsquo;ve all been there. We want to eat healthier. We want to exercise more. But when push comes to shove and we are back in our routine, and life becomes busy again, we forget about our good intentions to eat healthily or exercise more - until the next new year, that is.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGood intentions often remain just that. Why?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps pulling a metaphor for this problem closer would help explain it better. A friend and I have been saying for at least the past six months now that we should grab a coffee together at some stage. Every time I see her at school or next to the sports field, we would reiterate this good intention. I would say, \u0026ldquo;Send me a message with a time that would work for you,\u0026rdquo; and the next message from her is to ask what today\u0026rsquo;s homework was. Or she would say, \u0026ldquo;Let me know when you would like to go.\u0026rdquo; But then the next thing I need to know from her is whether she\u0026rsquo;s perhaps seen my son\u0026rsquo;s lost shoes. And so it goes on. Life is just too busy.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Why Good Intentions Alone Don't Work"},{"content":"My immediate family and I enjoyed the coastal sun and waves for the past two weeks. Leaving a piece of my heart behind in the small town, the sadness of returning to city life sparked the discussion again between my husband and me about whether we should consider moving to a smaller coastal town. Years ago, we had our house on the market, serious about moving, but COVID happened, and those plans were cancelled.\nDuring our discussion, my eldest son mentioned his friend\u0026rsquo;s family, who moved to a coastal town. His friend says they hardly ever visit the beach. I can see how that can be the case—one tends to appreciate things less when easily accessible or considered a given.\nAlso, my husband and I have built a life we love in the city. I\u0026rsquo;ve found purpose in my writing work, which is easily distributable with available resources, and I am surrounded by a supportive community and friends. Commuting to the office occasionally to engage with my software engineering colleagues is possible from where I stay now. It would be silly to move now, even if I want to fetch that piece of my heart.\nI preach being brave, embracing chance, and living outside your comfort zone—growth doesn\u0026rsquo;t happen while being comfortable. Making no changes means your 2024 is likely to resemble your 2023. However, some things need to be rock solid, stable, and comfortable. The trick is not viewing those things as given but appreciating them and enjoying the benefits.\nBuild a life you love with the people you love—then be brave to embrace change.\nWhat changes are you considering in 2024? How can you enjoy the life you\u0026rsquo;ve already built more?\n","permalink":"/blog/embracing-change-building-a-life-you-love/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eMy immediate family and I enjoyed the coastal sun and waves for the past two weeks. Leaving a piece of my heart behind in the small town, the sadness of returning to city life sparked the discussion again between my husband and me about whether we should consider moving to a smaller coastal town. Years ago, we had our house on the market, serious about moving, but COVID happened, and those plans were cancelled.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Embracing Change: Building a Life You Love"},{"content":"Welcome to that week between Christmas and New Year when even the days of the week become a mystery. This time of year, akin to limbo, is truly special. My children\u0026rsquo;s stationary and school clothes are mostly sorted and ready for the upcoming year—well, they\u0026rsquo;ll survive with what hasn\u0026rsquo;t been sorted yet. Christmas has come and gone, and it feels as though the entire world has collectively decided to take a bit of a breather.\nAt times, I grapple with guilt when spending consecutive days doing nothing. I\u0026rsquo;ve grown so accustomed to perpetual busyness that embracing idleness feels inherently wrong. I constantly remind myself that rest is not only beneficial but essential. Perhaps, I should indulge in it more often.\nLast Tuesday marked my final track session of the year. It involved four-hundred-meter sprints with ninety seconds of rest between each sprint. Acknowledging that I couldn\u0026rsquo;t have sustained continual sprints without those ninety seconds of rest on the track begs the question—why do I expect myself to sprint through day-to-day life without pausing until the year\u0026rsquo;s very end?\nHere are the things I refuse to feel guilty about this holiday season (and intend to take a break from in 2024 more often):\nThe desire to spend time alone Not cooking Taking a break from intense training Forgoing the effort to style my outfits Letting go of work-related worries Ignoring the cleanliness of the house Indulging in hours of lying in bed reading a book Enjoy this final week of 2023, and may your 2024 be abundantly blessed.\n","permalink":"/blog/guilt-free-holidays/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome to that week between Christmas and New Year when even the days of the week become a mystery. This time of year, akin to limbo, is truly special. My children\u0026rsquo;s stationary and school clothes are mostly sorted and ready for the upcoming year—well, they\u0026rsquo;ll survive with what hasn\u0026rsquo;t been sorted yet. Christmas has come and gone, and it feels as though the entire world has collectively decided to take a bit of a breather.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Guilt-free holidays"},{"content":"I have been participating in a reflection workshop since the beginning of December. I also took part in this workshop last December. It is a wonderful way to conclude a year.\nOne of our recent prompts for introspection was: \u0026lsquo;Where did you own your value this year?\u0026rsquo; To unpack this prompt, I used the following rationale: To understand where I owned my value this year, I first need to comprehend what it means to own my value.\nWhen I have an object I am looking to sell, one of the first things I need to do is advertise it at a certain price. This price represents my understanding of the object\u0026rsquo;s value. I can negotiate to sell it for less, or I can decide that its price is non-negotiable.\nI own its value.\nThe same holds true for self-worth. In my day-to-day interactions, I \u0026lsquo;offer\u0026rsquo; a bit of myself everywhere I go, and I receive something back from every interaction. Even sharing in our reflection group is an interaction from which I gain something, whether through introspection and learning something new about myself or through the feedback and support from the other group members.\nI get to decide if what I receive back from my interactions is sufficient to make it worth my while. Owning my value is when I decide, \u0026lsquo;No, I am worth more than this. I am not going to settle for less.\u0026rsquo; To own my value does not mean thinking I am better than others. It is not a comparison to what others value themselves or are willing to settle for. It is a personal decision about the treatment, service, money, or whatever I am willing to accept or live with.\nWhere did you own your value this year?\n","permalink":"/blog/owning-your-value/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI have been participating in a reflection workshop since the beginning of December. I also took part in this workshop last December. It is a wonderful way to conclude a year.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of our recent prompts for introspection was: \u0026lsquo;Where did you own your value this year?\u0026rsquo; To unpack this prompt, I used the following rationale: To understand where I owned my value this year, I first need to comprehend what it means to own my value.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Owning your value"},{"content":"During one of our runs, my friend Raymond walked me through the intricacies of conducting a fire test. It\u0026rsquo;s amazing the subjects we delve into while pounding the tar.\nThe process entails subjecting materials to intense heat until they reach their smoking point. Sensors, strategically placed above the experimental setup, are supposed to detect the smoke. The order and time at which these sensors detect or fail to detect the fire are recorded. This data is later presented to the client, a mining company, aiding them in deciding which sensors to invest in.\nAfter absorbing Raymond\u0026rsquo;s insights, I posed a question: \u0026ldquo;Does the best-performing sensor always equate to the best one to purchase?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Definitely not,\u0026rdquo; Raymond responded. \u0026ldquo;Other factors like after-sales support, cost, maintenance, and part availability come into play. Unfortunately, I can\u0026rsquo;t measure these in my tests. The mine needs to consider these factors themselves.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Can you recall a situation where the technically best sensor wasn\u0026rsquo;t the ideal choice for a more subjective reason?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yes, many years back, we had a multi-sensor capable of detecting various issues like smoke, carbon monoxide, and oxygen levels. During a demonstration for the mine, the reps showcased how a red light would signal a problem.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;That sounds efficient. Why wasn\u0026rsquo;t it the right choice?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Well,\u0026rdquo; Raymond recounted, \u0026ldquo;I asked the rep how one would pinpoint the specific problem when the sensor flashed a red light. His answer? Check the control panel inside, which displays an error code.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Seems inconvenient.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Indeed. I then presented this scenario: imagine you\u0026rsquo;re a foreman underground with miners, and the sensor, hundreds of meters away, turns red. To take appropriate action, you must send someone to check it. That person might collapse near the sensor, and only then do you realize it\u0026rsquo;s carbon monoxide.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;I see. The control panel isn\u0026rsquo;t helpful in an emergency.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Exactly. So, I suggested: \u0026lsquo;Use different colour LEDs!\u0026rsquo;\u0026rdquo;\nOver a week ago, I shared Raymond\u0026rsquo;s story with my course group, prefacing our discussion on various dieting options. My aim was to emphasize that choosing a diet isn\u0026rsquo;t merely about picking the best one. If it was, I could have saved myself the trouble and focused on just one diet, which I don\u0026rsquo;t do.\nSelecting a diet also involves considering soft factors like cost, ease of adherence, and personal suitability. Everyone\u0026rsquo;s needs and bodies differ, leading to diverse choices.\nOccasionally, something may seem fantastic—everything you\u0026rsquo;ve desired—but it turns out to be a red light in the distance, awaiting its next victim.\nAs we approach the dieting season, with January ushering in resolutions, weight loss often tops the list. Here are a few tips:\nAvoid perfectionism; embrace an always-something outlook. Opt for a sustainable diet that can become a lifestyle; reserve unsustainable options for temporary needs. Resist the urge to hop from one diet to another; commit for at least three weeks before reassessing. Reflect on your yo-yo dieting history; identify what works, why you quit, what frustrates you, and what\u0026rsquo;s easy to stick to. Remember, there\u0026rsquo;s no universal best option—only the best option for you.\n","permalink":"/blog/theres-no-universal-best-option/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eDuring one of our runs, my friend Raymond walked me through the intricacies of conducting a fire test. \u003cem\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s amazing the subjects we delve into while pounding the tar.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe process entails subjecting materials to intense heat until they reach their smoking point. Sensors, strategically placed above the experimental setup, are supposed to detect the smoke. The order and time at which these sensors detect or fail to detect the fire are recorded. This data is later presented to the client, a mining company, aiding them in deciding which sensors to invest in.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"There's no universal best option"},{"content":"I\u0026rsquo;ve now run two marathons. It was the same marathon, one year apart, almost identical routes, same time of year, similar weather (this year\u0026rsquo;s weather might\u0026rsquo;ve been slightly more challenging) - and yet two completely different experiences.\nLast year\u0026rsquo;s was the more difficult run of the two. I was still very inexperienced then and I cramped for at least the last third of that marathon. But I enjoyed the experience and the vibe of the event, and will always treasure it. Afterwards, I took what felt like forever to recover. I kept trying to get back into running but couldn\u0026rsquo;t seem to figure it out.\nThis year\u0026rsquo;s run was much more enjoyable and easier. I didn\u0026rsquo;t cramp, but I did run out of stamina towards the end. I suspect I dehydrated or I overexerted myself running against the wind during the initial ten kilometres. My recovery seems easier this time around. I am giving myself more grace, but I also feel better supported in recovering with more structured training and less having to figure things out on my own.\nWith my eye on next year\u0026rsquo;s marathon, wanting to learn from my mistakes and wanting to build on what went well, I\u0026rsquo;ve been reflecting on both my marathon runs - especially on why it is that this year\u0026rsquo;s run felt like the better experience. These are the reasons I believe this year\u0026rsquo;s run went better:\nMy expectations were more realistic. I had a better understanding of what I was capable of doing and what paces I could realistically achieve for what distances. I\u0026rsquo;ve become better at pacing myself. My race nutrition was a thousand times better this time around. I am so happy that I took the time to experiment with such a variety of nutrition options for nearly a year beforehand. With five sessions every week, strength training was a priority and each session focused on my weaknesses and not on strength in general. Interval track training was the biggest change to my weekly running training routine. I was not too fond of track when I started, but I very quickly fell in love with it. I enjoy pushing myself over those short intervals to see what pace I can reach and am elated when I manage to spend a decent amount of time in my fastest zone. None of my long runs was longer than half marathon length. This might surprise most experienced marathon runners, but I found this to work so well for me. Because I didn\u0026rsquo;t have any of those 25, 28, 32 or 35 km runs this time around, I felt fresher and less exhausted on race day. Even though my long runs were shorter, my weekly mileage was more. I had longer mid-week runs than last year. I felt better supported this year than last year. I never realised how much I needed that until I experienced what it was like to have it. And I know now that come next year it is going to be even better and stronger. Have you ever done the same thing twice? Can you compare your experiences and learn from the differences?\n","permalink":"/blog/what-went-better-this-time-around/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve now run two marathons. It was the same marathon, one year apart, almost identical routes, same time of year, similar weather (this year\u0026rsquo;s weather might\u0026rsquo;ve been slightly more challenging) - and yet two completely different experiences.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLast year\u0026rsquo;s was the more difficult run of the two. I was still very inexperienced then and I cramped for at least the last third of that marathon. But I enjoyed the experience and the vibe of the event, and will always treasure it. Afterwards, I took what felt like forever to recover. I kept trying to get back into running but couldn\u0026rsquo;t seem to figure it out.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What went better this time around?"},{"content":"A few days after completing the 2023 Cape Town marathon, I wrote a thank you note to Michelle on my blog page. In this piece, I wrote the following:\n\u0026ldquo;I had to take some time to figure things out especially my \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and then my \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; - both felt unfigureoutable.\u0026rdquo;\nMy Kopskuif-course started at the end of last month. It is a weight-loss preparation course. In this course, I try to unpack the world of diets and exercise and try to make it slightly less intimidating for someone who knows that they need to lose weight but is unsure of where to start. ( Before you ask, it is only available in Afrikaans) My focus for about half of this course is on \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo;; during the other half, I focus on \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo;.\nWithout realising it then, when I wrote my thank you note to Michelle, I reiterated that I needed to figure out my \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; - concerning running in this case. Obviously \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; are two concepts that have become very important to me over the last seven years, so much so that I find myself automatically going back there whenever life throws me a curve ball and I am not quite sure how to regroup and continue. I reflect a lot and find it interesting that I had somehow fallen into the habit of doing this.\nPerhaps having a solid \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and following it through with an equally well-contemplated \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; is the secret to living a full life and chasing all the dreams you\u0026rsquo;ve ever wished to pursue. Of course, other things, like consistency, forming new habits and having support, also play a role, but I believe that \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; are most important, especially when needing to make a mind shift.\nWhen reaching a point in your life where you feel defeated, with your back against a wall or unsure of how to move forward and grow as a person, what is your go-to way of handling such a situation?\n","permalink":"/blog/why-and-how/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eA few days after completing the 2023 Cape Town marathon, I wrote a thank you note to Michelle on my \u003ca href="/%22https://www.facebook.com/martmarib/%22/u003eblog/index.html" page\u003c/a\u003e. In this piece, I wrote the following:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026ldquo;I had to take some time to figure things out especially my \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo; and then my \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo; - both felt unfigureoutable.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy \u003cem\u003eKopskuif\u003c/em\u003e-course started at the end of last month. It is a weight-loss preparation course. In this course, I try to unpack the world of diets and exercise and try to make it slightly less intimidating for someone who knows that they need to lose weight but is unsure of where to start. ( \u003cem\u003eBefore you ask, it is only available in Afrikaans\u003c/em\u003e) My focus for about half of this course is on \u0026lsquo;why\u0026rsquo;; during the other half, I focus on \u0026lsquo;how\u0026rsquo;.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"'Why' and 'How'"},{"content":"Planning for and working towards a big goal is incomplete unless you also plan what to do after reaching that goal - especially when it is an event you\u0026rsquo;re working towards. Not having a post-event plan can leave you feeling aimless, even depressed, when your event is done and dusted. Note: you are probably going to feel a bit lost and down anyway, but having a post-event plan will definitely help.\nLast year I thought I had it all sorted. About a month or so before running the 2022 Cape Town marathon I had already decided that I was going to combine all my training journal pieces into a book and my plan was to fill the time previously allotted to marathon training with compiling and editing my new book. That seemed like a fabulous plan.\nIt wasn\u0026rsquo;t.\nOver the hundred days prior to running my first marathon, I already got myself into the rhythm of writing a short piece each day. I wasn\u0026rsquo;t allocating the hours previously committed to running to something else. Those hours were suddenly left void. I felt aimless and unsure of what to do with regard to my running.\nEveryone told me to rest for at least a month. After months of running at least 40km, often much further, every week, I did not know what resting meant. I was unsure how to correctly rest and then get back to running again. I felt emotional, down and not in a good space, and it took me a long time to shake myself out of feeling so lost. I also didn\u0026rsquo;t speak up about this - so nobody was aware of how I felt.\nI now know that it is not only important to have a post-event plan but also to have a post-event plan that builds on the pre-event work. A post-event plan is not about filling your life with something else, it should be about growing further. I am also part of a supportive group of other runners - many much more experienced than I am - and it feels like there is a bit of a safety net this year willing to catch me when I do find myself feeling lost again.\nI once had a conversation with my coach about reaching a particular goal. I said something like: \u0026ldquo;I will eventually get there.\u0026rdquo; She said: \u0026ldquo;And then I will move the goal.\u0026rdquo;\nWe never arrive, we just keep showing up and pushing on. After the 2022 Cape Town marathon I thought I had \u0026ldquo;arrived\u0026rdquo;, this year I know I never will. My post-event plan is to keep showing up and pushing on.\nMy coach had already \u0026ldquo;moved my goal\u0026rdquo; earlier this year. She was slightly upset with me earlier this year for running the Cape Town marathon again. She felt that I should be focussing on more 10km training cycles, and not on long-distance running. I had of course already entered this year\u0026rsquo;s marathon and was determined to run it.\nShe said: \u0026ldquo;After Cape Town, we need to get you back on a 10km training programme.\u0026rdquo;\nAnd that is exactly what I am planning to do - after first taking a well-deserved rest.\n","permalink":"/blog/what-to-do-after-you-did-it/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003ePlanning for and working towards a big goal is incomplete unless you also plan what to do after reaching that goal - especially when it is an event you\u0026rsquo;re working towards. Not having a post-event plan can leave you feeling aimless, even depressed, when your event is done and dusted. \u003cem\u003eNote: you are probably going to feel a bit lost and down anyway, but having a post-event plan will definitely help.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What to do after you did it"},{"content":"We had an interesting problem these past two weeks. I wrote \u0026ldquo;we\u0026rdquo; even though it was actually my problem. I had someone who shared this problem with me and solved it for me - which is a massive privilege.\nThe Wednesday after my previous newsletter I had a 10km Easy run on my training calendar. I cannot recall a 10km ever feeling better or easier during the course of this past year than my run that morning. I shared this observation with a running friend who was very happy for me.\nThe following day I had an 8km Easy run. From the onset of that run, I sensed that something was off. I was running at an easy comfortable pace … nearly twenty seconds per kilometre faster than normal! I wasn\u0026rsquo;t pushing. I wasn\u0026rsquo;t trying to run faster. It was simply just happening.\nAfter my run, I shared a screenshot of my pace zones with my coach saying: \u0026ldquo;I think this morning\u0026rsquo;s run went very well.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;That is a good run, it helps to run on \u0026lsquo;fresh legs\u0026rsquo; as you had a taper whilst you were sick.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yes, I have also noticed that over the last few days. Feels good.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;This is generally what you want to happen the ten days before a big race: taper and peak, and your leg speed comes back. However, it\u0026rsquo;s happening now as we were forced to rest because you were sick. I\u0026rsquo;m getting you out of the premature taper by increasing your mileage.\u0026rdquo;\nTrue to her word, when I checked my training calendar it was already updated with new workouts - and more mileage. Sigh.\nPeaking felt so good. It felt like I was on top of the world. I hope we stopped it quickly enough and that I will get back there again after my actual taper which is starting this Thursday. I want to get back there as soon as possible!\nI also know now that I didn\u0026rsquo;t peak last year. I cannot recall ever feeling so well-rested and able to run faster without additional effort before last year\u0026rsquo;s marathon. Even my shake-out run the Saturday before felt like a lot of effort and didn\u0026rsquo;t go as I wanted it to.\nSo apparently peaking too soon is a possibility - who knew? I wonder if there are any other life disciplines in which peaking too soon is also possible and how one would go about avoiding it. Perhaps one such situation is when studying and writing exams, but that is all I can think of now.\nDo you have any experience with peaking too soon?\n","permalink":"/blog/peaking-too-soon/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe had an interesting problem these past two weeks. \u003cem\u003eI wrote \u0026ldquo;we\u0026rdquo; even though it was actually my problem. I had someone who shared this problem with me and solved it for me - which is a massive privilege.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Wednesday after my previous newsletter I had a 10km Easy run on my training calendar. I cannot recall a 10km ever feeling better or easier during the course of this past year than my run that morning. I shared this observation with a running friend who was very happy for me.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Peaking too soon"},{"content":"\u0026ldquo;Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.\u0026rdquo; What a lie!\nOn the one side, I believe that we should be able to fairly criticize and share an honest opinion. On the other hand, I believe that it is better to keep quiet when you don\u0026rsquo;t have something good to say.\nWhen trying to console someone who\u0026rsquo;s been the receiver of some hurtful words, sentences such as \u0026ldquo;Remember hurt people hurt people\u0026rdquo;, \u0026ldquo;Choose who you allow yourself to listen to\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;Offence is taken, not given\u0026rdquo; are sometimes uttered. Not that these consolations help. Once the hurtful message has been spoken or posted there is no knowing how long it will be pondered over in the mind of the receiver.\nRecently I\u0026rsquo;ve been the receiver of some hurtful words. The one incident caused me to decide to complete the current project I was busy with but then to stop giving any more of my time and attention to a cause I\u0026rsquo;ve supported for nearly ten years, and which I feel I am actually good at. It is their loss, not mine - but that doesn\u0026rsquo;t make me feel any better about what happened.\nThe other incident was with my eldest son. He was busy making sandwiches for himself for school one evening. I walked past him and commented on the eight slices of bread he was using. He said that he needs to eat that much cause he works out every day. I said that I also work out each day, often twice a day, and before I could finish my sentence he said: \u0026ldquo;Doesn\u0026rsquo;t look like it!\u0026rdquo; He is young, he still needs to learn - doesn\u0026rsquo;t hurt any less though\u0026hellip; And now he has to be taught as well. I\u0026rsquo;ve asked Derik to handle it.\nPerhaps everything boils down to intent. If your intent is to warn others of poor service or scams, then, by all means, speak up publicly. If your intent is to give constructive criticism or to help guide, then do so privately. But otherwise perhaps keep quiet when you don\u0026rsquo;t have something good to say, cause you have no idea how long something you say can stay on someone\u0026rsquo;s mind.\nAnd always give someone who has created something your most favourable review or remain quiet as tastes most certainly differ.\nHave you been hurt by words? Have you hurt others with your words?\n","permalink":"/blog/you-dont-know-how-deep-your-words-can-cut/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.\u0026rdquo; What a lie!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOn the one side, I believe that we should be able to fairly criticize and share an honest opinion. On the other hand, I believe that it is better to keep quiet when you don\u0026rsquo;t have something good to say.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen trying to console someone who\u0026rsquo;s been the receiver of some hurtful words, sentences such as \u0026ldquo;Remember hurt people hurt people\u0026rdquo;, \u0026ldquo;Choose who you allow yourself to listen to\u0026rdquo; or \u0026ldquo;Offence is taken, not given\u0026rdquo; are sometimes uttered. Not that these consolations help. Once the hurtful message has been spoken or posted there is no knowing how long it will be pondered over in the mind of the receiver.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"You don't know how deep your words can cut"},{"content":"We had an inspiring \u0026ldquo;Journeys\u0026rdquo;- themed town hall session at our offices. Myself and some of my colleagues had the opportunity to share a bit about our journeys.\nOne of my colleagues shared how she and her husband were keen Camino trail walkers. One of their bucket list items was to walk the Camino trail in Italy, but when her husband collapsed and passed away next to her one day while walking in the Transkei she decided to walk the Italian trail by herself. She shared her adventures, stories and reflections.\nA second colleague shared his challenges fighting bladder cancer. He highlighted how he ignored his problems for three years before seeking help and how he should\u0026rsquo;ve realised sooner that his family\u0026rsquo;s feelings also mattered.\nWe were also fortunate to hear a bit of history as one of our coworkers shared his journey of working for the same company for nearly 40 years - unheard-of commitment and loyalty!\nA few years ago a colleague of mine immigrated to Qatar and she shared some of the challenges she faced. Something I took away from her talk was that it is the things we take for granted, like knowing where to go in an emergency or how to renew a licence, that become mountains of problems in another country. You have to learn how to adult all over again.\nAnother colleague shared about the challenges he faced when his family became the victims of a farm murder, especially when reporters decided to show up at his father\u0026rsquo;s funeral.\nAnd finally, I got to share a little bit about my journey. I tried to focus on everything that has happened while maintaining my 80kg weight loss.\nOur town hall session made me realise that although it can sometimes appear in a professional environment, that we are well-oiled machines turning out work item after work item, we are actually all just humans, and we all have a story to share. Choose to be kind - always.\nAnother realisation was that it is sometimes in the midst of our hardships that we find our best selves. Our hardship is a reminder that life should be lived to the fullest every day. Tomorrow is never a guarantee.\n","permalink":"/blog/we-all-have-a-story/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe had an inspiring \u0026ldquo;Journeys\u0026rdquo;- themed town hall session at our offices. Myself and some of my colleagues had the opportunity to share a bit about our journeys.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of my colleagues shared how she and her husband were keen Camino trail walkers. One of their bucket list items was to walk the Camino trail in Italy, but when her husband collapsed and passed away next to her one day while walking in the Transkei she decided to walk the Italian trail by herself. She shared her adventures, stories and reflections.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"We all have a story"},{"content":"I suspect I am writing today\u0026rsquo;s newsletter just for myself. It is the message that I need to hear.\nThese past few months we\u0026rsquo;ve been focusing on improving my running form. There is so much that I need to fix. I lean forward too much, I don\u0026rsquo;t lift my chin enough, my shoulders are too much forward, I don\u0026rsquo;t lift my knees enough, my shoulders rock, or sway, too much, my cadence is too low and I heel strike. In short: I don\u0026rsquo;t do anything right… (It is not true, but sometimes that is how it feels)\nTrying to fix any of the above is like convincing the elastic in my Palazzo pants to not fold double or roll inside. I can stretch and straighten the elastic before getting dressed, but the moment I have it on something has rolled or folded again.\nFinding the patience to slowly and systematically straighten the bundled elastic is a challenge. Especially because I also wish to see results - just like anyone else.\nThere was a post I scrolled past on Facebook a while back that went something like this:\nOne day a woman saw Picasso sitting in a restaurant drawing on a serviette. When he was done she approached him and asked if she could buy the serviette from him.\n\u0026ldquo;Sure,\u0026rdquo; he said, \u0026ldquo;you can buy it for $20,000.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;But it only took you two minutes to draw it!\u0026rdquo; she exclaimed.\n\u0026ldquo;No, it took me my entire life.\u0026rdquo;\nThe biggest enemy of motivation is probably impatience. It is easy to remain motivated when we can see results from the work that we do, but much more difficult when the results don\u0026rsquo;t come.\nWhen starting something new quick wins and improvements are usually plenty. But as time goes by our bodies become used to the \u0026ldquo;something new\u0026rdquo;, and we hit a plateau or even take a few steps back. Remaining patient while consistently sticking to a plan or working on becoming better at something, without that immediate feedback, is hard.\nHard as it might be to remember when stuck in the trenches, and as easy as it is to forget when we witness the product of greatness: Great things take time.\nOne of the things I love about my running coach is how she keeps pointing this out to me. She\u0026rsquo;ll say something like: \u0026ldquo;Look at how well xxx keeps her shoulders steady. We\u0026rsquo;ve been working on that since last year November.\u0026rdquo;\nWhen are you likely to quit? What is it that will keep you soldiering on?\n","permalink":"/blog/great-things-take-time/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI suspect I am writing today\u0026rsquo;s newsletter just for myself. It is the message that I need to hear.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese past few months we\u0026rsquo;ve been focusing on improving my running form. There is so much that I need to fix. I lean forward too much, I don\u0026rsquo;t lift my chin enough, my shoulders are too much forward, I don\u0026rsquo;t lift my knees enough, my shoulders rock, or sway, too much, my cadence is too low and I heel strike. In short: I don\u0026rsquo;t do anything right… \u003cem\u003e(It is not true, but sometimes that is how it feels)\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Great things take time"},{"content":"We all have a threshold of stuff that we can handle. Most of the time I will manage okay-ish with a 5:30 am track session, but throw in an evening of poor sleep, not feeling well and some pain in my shins, and suddenly my 5:30 am track session becomes unmanageable and I quit it prematurely.\nSimilarly, none of us can keep going all the time. If we keep on pushing through day in and day out, our threshold of stuff we can handle will lower. Eventually, the slightest tiniest niggle is going to send us tumbling into a pit of despair. Which is why we should rest and plan for it.\nI didn\u0026rsquo;t always believe rest to be important. On the very first day I joined RunZone for a run, almost two years ago, a friend chatted with me afterwards. One of his questions was: \u0026ldquo;Which days are your rest days?\u0026rdquo;\nAt that stage, I didn\u0026rsquo;t have any rest days! None. Nada. Niks… He gave me a stern talking-to and insisted that I start taking both (gasp!) Mondays and Fridays off.\nI didn\u0026rsquo;t want to do it!\nI believed that the only way I will ever be able to progress is by working hard and consistently every day. I am very hard on myself. I expect a lot from myself and am extremely critical of myself. Nobody, not even my running coach, is as fault-finding of me as I am.\nI am convinced I must\u0026rsquo;ve given him a stare that said: \u0026ldquo;You have no idea how hard I work. I have so much to fix. I have so much to work on. I cannot afford to rest. Resting is going to cause me to become a poor runner.\u0026rdquo;\nIt wasn\u0026rsquo;t till I went home and researched rest during training myself that I decided to try his suggestion for six weeks before shooting it down.\nFast forward to today. Over the past two years, I\u0026rsquo;ve come to realise that resting is not equal to wasting time. It is not a sign that I am lazy or not working hard enough, nor that training is not important to me.\nRest days - complete rest days - are golden! My body needs at least one day, preferably two days, of no training stress - not even light training. That break is important for my mental health, my body\u0026rsquo;s healing processes, metabolism and immune system. Resting is what keeps my threshold intact and my body able to cope with the training load.\nIs resting important to you? Do you plan rest days into your schedule? Why or why not?\n","permalink":"/blog/the-importance-of-rest/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe all have a threshold of stuff that we can handle. Most of the time I will manage okay-ish with a 5:30 am track session, but throw in an evening of poor sleep, not feeling well and some pain in my shins, and suddenly my 5:30 am track session becomes unmanageable and I quit it prematurely.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSimilarly, none of us can keep going all the time. If we keep on pushing through day in and day out, our threshold of stuff we can handle will lower. Eventually, the slightest tiniest niggle is going to send us tumbling into a pit of despair. Which is why we should rest and plan for it.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The importance of rest"},{"content":"There is a place called \u0026ldquo;I\u0026rsquo;ve tried everything, nothing works, I might as well stop trying\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; We all visit that place now and then. I feel that people sometimes mail me about this place hoping I\u0026rsquo;ll say \u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s okay. I can see you\u0026rsquo;ve tried everything. You can stop trying now.\u0026rdquo; Of course, l won\u0026rsquo;t do that\u0026hellip;\nRecently I\u0026rsquo;ve found myself there. Yes, I also visit it - unfortunately.\nI mean it when I say I work hard at becoming a better runner. I work incredibly hard! But despite trying my best, I don\u0026rsquo;t get the results I feel I deserve. None of my workouts is ever executed exactly like my coach wants them executed, and that makes me feel like I am constantly failing. One day I frustratedly exclaimed: \u0026ldquo;What is the point of being consistent when I am consistently wrong?\u0026rdquo;\nWe have since worked out a plan to see what we can do to get me back to feeling that I am pushed enough to improve but not pushed so much to become despondent.\nWhat can you do when you find yourself thinking \u0026lsquo;What is the point of continuing, I might as well quit\u0026hellip;\u0026rsquo;\nSpeak up! Tell someone how you feel. Often voicing out loud or putting into words your feelings makes you feel lighter and better able to manage. Find an expert on your problem for an unbiased opinion. Focus on that which is going well or the other indirect results you might be overlooking. Don\u0026rsquo;t compare your progress to the progress of others. You can, and should, only compete against yourself. Ensure that your goals are realistic. Give yourself some grace - especially if you know you work hard and are trying your best. If you need a break, take a break. But before doing so commit to when you\u0026rsquo;ll start again. It is better to rest than to quit. Revisit the reasons why you started. Adjust your current methods or construct a realistic plan or solution, like working incrementally towards smaller targets, that you feel you are willing to try out while not able to reach your bigger goals yet. Don\u0026rsquo;t quit! When you started you were desperate to be where you are today. Don\u0026rsquo;t lose your way back there again. Do you have any tips that you\u0026rsquo;d like to add to these?\n","permalink":"/blog/what-to-do-when-nothing-works/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThere is a place called \u0026ldquo;I\u0026rsquo;ve tried everything, nothing works, I might as well stop trying\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; We all visit that place now and then. I feel that people sometimes mail me about this place hoping I\u0026rsquo;ll say \u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s okay. I can see you\u0026rsquo;ve tried everything. You can stop trying now.\u0026rdquo; Of course, l won\u0026rsquo;t do that\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRecently I\u0026rsquo;ve found myself there. \u003cem\u003eYes, I also visit it - unfortunately.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI mean it when I say I work hard at becoming a better runner. I work incredibly hard! But despite trying my best, I don\u0026rsquo;t get the results I feel I deserve. None of my workouts is ever executed exactly like my coach wants them executed, and that makes me feel like I am constantly failing. One day I frustratedly exclaimed: \u0026ldquo;What is the point of being consistent when I am consistently wrong?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What to do when nothing works"},{"content":"Currently, I am training hard for Cape Town Marathon in October. My weekly mileage is about 45 - 50 km and most mornings I am out on the road or track running in the dark and cold. I am enjoying all the beautiful moonscapes and sunrises, but cannot wait for brighter mornings and warmer days.\nIn both my books I ended the Acknowledgement chapter with a message to my husband. This was the section in \u0026ldquo;My First Marathon Training\u0026rdquo;:\nTo Derik, my wonderfully supportive husband, I reckon I am the luckiest woman in the whole wide world to have you by my side. You sacrificed the most. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for giving me the space to grow, be me, become the best version of me and do the two things I love most: running and writing.\nSeeing as I don\u0026rsquo;t know the day my newsletters will conclude, I thought it well to start my first newsletter with a message about support: Practical tips for supporting your partner\u0026rsquo;s new lifestyle.\nStarting a new diet, or I prefer talking about a lifestyle, is daunting - not only for the one dieting but also for their significant other. I hope you can share these tips with your partner to make it easier for them as well. They often don\u0026rsquo;t know what to do or how to help.\nEmbrace the change. Don\u0026rsquo;t complain about the new food. Take an interest in their new lifestyle: Ask questions, find out how it works and see what obstacles you can clear out of the way to make the change as easy as possible for them. Learn to cook some of their new dishes so you can spoil them with a \u0026ldquo;legal\u0026rdquo; meal they don\u0026rsquo;t have to cook every now and then. If you notice that eating something he/she is not supposed to eat in their company bothers them, avoid doing that. Join them when exercising. Join them for weigh-ins. Help them celebrate all milestones, no matter how small. Trust the process and don\u0026rsquo;t make them doubt it by sharing your doubts. Boost their confidence by telling him/her regularly how well they are doing. Be their biggest cheerleader. Tell them and others that you are proud of them. Do you have any tips that you\u0026rsquo;d like to add to these?\nUntil next time,\nMart-Mari Breedt\nAuthor of \u0026ldquo;Eighty Kilos of Shame\u0026rdquo;, \u0026ldquo;Tagtig Kilos se Skuldlas\u0026rdquo;, \u0026ldquo;My First Marathon Training\u0026rdquo;, \u0026ldquo;Die Kopskuif\u0026rdquo;-online course and keynote speaker\n","permalink":"/blog/practical-tips-for-supporting-your-partners-new-lifestyle/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eCurrently, I am training hard for Cape Town Marathon in October. My weekly mileage is about 45 - 50 km and most mornings I am out on the road or track running in the dark and cold. I am enjoying all the beautiful moonscapes and sunrises, but cannot wait for brighter mornings and warmer days.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn both my books I ended the Acknowledgement chapter with a message to my husband. This was the section in \u0026ldquo;My First Marathon Training\u0026rdquo;:\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Practical tips for supporting your partner's new lifestyle"},{"content":"When I stood at the start of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, it felt to me as if everything that I had done since 7 February 2017 - rejoining Weigh-less, starting to run, losing 80kg, going for therapy, writing a book, joining a running club, working with a coach - had all accumulated to one single point in time.\nAnd when I crossed the finish line of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, I realised that every now and then hard work is rewarded.\n","permalink":"/blog/the-race-is-the-reward/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWhen I stood at the start of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, it felt to me as if everything that I had done since 7 February 2017 - rejoining Weigh-less, starting to run, losing 80kg, going for therapy, writing a book, joining a running club, working with a coach - had all accumulated to one single point in time.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd when I crossed the finish line of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, I realised that every now and then hard work is rewarded.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The race is the reward"},{"content":"“Tell me at what point we will start running again.”\nIt was my first time running ten kilometres with Coach Michelle, of which the first three kilometres were basically all uphill. I had just asked for a walking break when she asked the aforementioned question. I must\u0026rsquo;ve frowned at her in response…\n“We cannot walk indefinitely. Commit to a point where we will start running again.”\nI cannot recall which point I picked, and later on, she started picking points for me \u0026lsquo;cause I was obviously too indecisive - or too tired. But afterwards, this concept of committing to start running again was a take-home for me from that first ten kilometres of running with Michelle.\nI believe this is a principle that can be applied to more than just running. It is okay - necessary - to take a break every now and again, but breaks cannot last indefinitely.\nBefore walking commit to a point at which to start running again.\n","permalink":"/blog/commit-to-when-to-start-running-again-before-walking/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003e“Tell me at what point we will start running again.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt was my first time running ten kilometres with Coach Michelle, of which the first three kilometres were basically all uphill. I had just asked for a walking break when she asked the aforementioned question. I must\u0026rsquo;ve frowned at her in response…\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“We cannot walk indefinitely. Commit to a point where we will start running again.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI cannot recall which point I picked, and later on, she started picking points for me \u0026lsquo;cause I was obviously too indecisive - or too tired. But afterwards, this concept of committing to start running again was a take-home for me from that first ten kilometres of running with Michelle.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Commit to when to start running again before walking"},{"content":"An observation from my run with Michelle on Friday was that I don\u0026rsquo;t push myself nearly hard enough. There were many times during that run I desperately wanted to run slower. And I would\u0026rsquo;ve… if it wasn\u0026rsquo;t for Michelle\u0026rsquo;s persistent pushing.\nI shared this observation with Michelle. She said: \u0026ldquo;You need to learn to push yourself. It comes from your intrinsic motivation which you need to get in touch with.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Perhaps somewhere along the line, I\u0026rsquo;ve lost that intrinsic motivation?\u0026rdquo; I replied.\n\u0026ldquo;You should think about what motivates you during a race and training.\u0026rdquo;\nWhat motivates me during a run? Somehow I reckon this question has no simple answer.\nMichelle\u0026rsquo;s question is not what makes me get up, dressed and out on the road each morning. The \u0026ldquo;showing up\u0026rdquo;-part requires its own motivation. I reckon I\u0026rsquo;ve cemented the habit of exercising so well by now that showing up has become routine.\nMichelle\u0026rsquo;s question is also not directed towards what it will take for me to see my workout through. Although it has happened before, it is unusual for me to start a workout and not see it through. Most of the time simply starting is enough to get me to finish a workout.\nNo. Michelle\u0026rsquo;s question is about what motivates me during a race or training. I.e. what will it take for me to push myself more and out of my comfort zone?\nLate Friday afternoon, I went for a recovery walk to stretch out my legs and ponder Michelle\u0026rsquo;s question. I did not get around to any pondering though as my thoughts kept returning to the morning\u0026rsquo;s run and how accomplished I felt - I could not stop smiling.\nI must\u0026rsquo;ve known the answer to Michelle\u0026rsquo;s question then. I probably knew when I clicked \u0026ldquo;Enter\u0026rdquo; (again!) two days after completing my first marathon last year. I just needed my memory refreshed.\nFriday morning\u0026rsquo;s run was challenging - I can\u0026rsquo;t recall the last time something was that hard. Yet, afterwards, I felt:\nI was victorious in exceeding limits I\u0026rsquo;ve kinda come to accept are going to be there forever That I can get back to where I once used to be - and perhaps even improve on it That I am not limited I felt so proud of myself! And also confident - specifically concerning running. Yet again, I cannot remember when last I had confidence in my running.\nWhat motivates me during races or training is that feeling of being alive and limitless and that I am capable of anything and everything.\nIt is the grasping towards what sits beyond my abilities that causes me, time and again, to rediscover the spark inside of me. It is the pushing towards more that makes me more… So much more.\n","permalink":"/blog/what-motivates-me-to-push-harder/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAn observation from my run with Michelle on Friday was that I don\u0026rsquo;t push myself nearly hard enough. There were many times during that run I desperately wanted to run slower. And I would\u0026rsquo;ve… if it wasn\u0026rsquo;t for Michelle\u0026rsquo;s persistent pushing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI shared this observation with Michelle. She said: \u0026ldquo;You need to learn to push yourself. It comes from your intrinsic motivation which you need to get in touch with.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e","title":"What motivates me to push harder?"},{"content":"I didn\u0026rsquo;t come to write, I believe, in the same fashion other authors did. I\u0026rsquo;ve never attended literature school - although I love languages and have always enjoyed reading.\nWhen I started therapy, the first in-depth discussion point between myself and my therapist was the relationship between my sister, who committed suicide, and me. My therapist wanted me to imagine myself going to heaven and fighting out all my issues with her. \u0026ldquo;Get rid of the anger,\u0026rdquo; he said.\nI couldn\u0026rsquo;t do it. And it didn\u0026rsquo;t help either that my knee-jerk question in response to his assignment was: \u0026ldquo;But what if I don\u0026rsquo;t believe that she went to heaven?\u0026rdquo;\nI could simply not allow myself to visualise the scenario sufficiently to reach that pit of emotion that needed emptying. Consequently, my therapist assigned me this visualisation as a journalling assignment.\nIn the days following this first therapy session, the assigned task remained in the back of my mind - brewing… By that Friday evening I could not contain it anymore. It felt like my mind was a pressure cooker about to explode. I needed to get out what was brewing, and the only way I knew how was to write. I was up till the early hours of that Saturday morning churning out a lengthy letter to my sister.\nAnd that was how I started writing…\nWhen the time came to write my book I decided to include this letter - in all its cringeworthy rawness and clumsily written mess. Only someone who has been in my shoes might understand.\nTowards the end of my book, I wrote a second letter titled: \u0026ldquo;What I’d Like To Tell My Sister Now\u0026rdquo;. There is power in the growth between the two letters.\n","permalink":"/blog/how-i-started-writing/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI didn\u0026rsquo;t come to write, I believe, in the same fashion other authors did. I\u0026rsquo;ve never attended literature school - although I love languages and have always enjoyed reading.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I started therapy, the first in-depth discussion point between myself and my therapist was the relationship between my sister, who committed suicide, and me. My therapist wanted me to imagine myself going to heaven and fighting out all my issues with her. \u0026ldquo;Get rid of the anger,\u0026rdquo; he said.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"How I started writing"},{"content":"When we watch the ending of a movie or read the final chapter of a book, it is easy to assume that the rest of the story will continue that way: \u0026ldquo;And they lived happily ever after…\u0026rdquo; But real life doesn\u0026rsquo;t work that way - we can arrive but not stay forever. Yet, that seems to be the expectation and, I believe, a lie we tell ourselves.\nYes, we get to end projects - and the world can certainly do with more people completing what they\u0026rsquo;ve started - but what happens after the end is more important - and perhaps the more difficult journey.\nThe story after the ending is not only about permanent and sustainable change. It is also about an identity change (Interestingly, I\u0026rsquo;ve been told this before). I, for example, do not wish to live my life as someone who always needs to watch what they eat and weigh in under supervision every month. I desire to tear those labels off me and step into and own a new identity - something I\u0026rsquo;ve been working hard at achieving.\nAlthough storytelling would have us believe that the ending is where the magic is, it is not. The magic always lies in new beginnings and reinvention.\n","permalink":"/blog/the-story-after-the-ending/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWhen we watch the ending of a movie or read the final chapter of a book, it is easy to assume that the rest of the story will continue that way: \u0026ldquo;And they lived happily ever after…\u0026rdquo; But real life doesn\u0026rsquo;t work that way - we can arrive but not stay forever. Yet, that seems to be the expectation and, I believe, a lie we tell ourselves.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, we get to end projects - and the world can certainly do with more people completing what they\u0026rsquo;ve started - but what happens after the end is more important - and perhaps the more difficult journey.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The story after the ending"},{"content":"Edna\u0026rsquo;s interview with me.\nWe talk about my book, Eighty kilos of Shame, specifically two chapters that resonated with Edna. She didn\u0026rsquo;t tell me beforehand which two chapters, which made the interview very interesting\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"/blog/ednas-interview-with-me/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eEdna\u0026rsquo;s interview with me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden;\"\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ciframe allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share; fullscreen\" loading=\"eager\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" src="/%22https://www.youtube.com/embed/UwvLSU0ARAA/index.html?autoplay=0\u0026amp;controls=1\u0026amp;end=0\u0026amp;loop=0\u0026amp;mute=0\u0026amp;start=0\%22" style=\"position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; border:0;\" title=\"YouTube video\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e\n\t\t\u003c/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\nWe talk about my book, Eighty kilos of Shame, specifically two chapters that resonated with Edna. She didn\u0026rsquo;t tell me beforehand which two chapters, which made the interview very interesting\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Edna White's interview with me"},{"content":" ","permalink":"/blog/virtual-launch-my-first-marathon-training/index.html","summary":"\u003cdiv style=\"position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden;\"\u003e\n\t\t\t\u003ciframe allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share; fullscreen\" loading=\"eager\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" src="/%22https://www.youtube.com/embed/sz80jPldT-4/index.html?autoplay=0\u0026amp;controls=1\u0026amp;end=0\u0026amp;loop=0\u0026amp;mute=0\u0026amp;start=0\%22" style=\"position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; border:0;\" title=\"YouTube video\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e\n\t\t\u003c/div\u003e","title":"Virtual Launch: My First Marathon Training"},{"content":"You are invited.\nYes, that time is correct.\nYes, I am going to be there for a while if you cannot make 7:30, no problem.\nYes, I will bring copies of my first book (both English and Afrikaans versions) as well.\nCard facilities will be available.\n","permalink":"/blog/my-first-marathon-trainings-launch/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eYou are invited.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, that time is correct.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, I am going to be there for a while if you cannot make 7:30, no problem.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, I will bring copies of my first book (both English and Afrikaans versions) as well.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCard facilities will be available.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"My First Marathon Training's Launch"},{"content":"","permalink":"/order-mfmt/index.html","summary":"","title":"Order"},{"content":"Mart-Mari Breedt is an author, software engineer and happily married mother of four. For the better part of 38 years, she was obese - morbidly obese. But over nearly three years, she had lost 80kg (176 lbs), reaching her goal weight in December 2019.\nSoon after reaching her goal weight, she discovered that being and staying thin was not all it promised. With no goal to pursue and solely relying on her strong willpower to pull her through each day, maintaining a massive weight loss became a constant battle between wanting to live freely and not picking up weight. The onset of the COVID pandemic did not help either.\nHer desire to somehow balance not gaining weight with living a limitless and unbounded life led her on a therapy journey and ultimately discovering that her problem was never the weight she had carried. The weight had only ever been a symptom of a bigger problem - one she had been trying to patch up with food her entire life.\nMart-Mari\u0026rsquo;s debut memoir, Eighty Kilos of Shame, is about her process of losing her emotional weight. It is an immensely personal writeup containing only her story that she\u0026rsquo;s written to inspire and open the eyes of others to food addiction and how people numb their emotions using food.\nHer memoir is enlightening, captivating and riveting. It will have your nose glued to the pages and you wishing for more even after reading the acknowledgements.\n","permalink":"/pages/short-bio/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eMart-Mari Breedt is an author, software engineer and happily married mother of four. For the better part of 38 years, she was obese - morbidly obese. But over nearly three years, she had lost 80kg (176 lbs), reaching her goal weight in December 2019.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSoon after reaching her goal weight, she discovered that being and staying thin was not all it promised. With no goal to pursue and solely relying on her strong willpower to pull her through each day, maintaining a massive weight loss became a constant battle between wanting to live freely and not picking up weight. The onset of the COVID pandemic did not help either.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Short Bio"},{"content":"It\u0026rsquo;s, I believe, too early into the new year to already feel like I just want to stay in bed, and especially like I do not want to exercise. Yet, here I am, feeling this way already on the 5th day of the year. The rain is of course not helping.\nIt scares me when days like these make me feel like nothing I do works and make me wonder if it all really is worth it. All the early mornings… All the exercises that I cannot do, yet try my best to get right… All futile…\nI know that the alternative - a life where I can sleep late every morning and eat whatever I want - is not something I want either. I\u0026rsquo;ve been there before, it is not all it promises to be.\nBut what do I do when sometimes it is just so tempting to quit?\nI try my best to remember why I started and I reluctantly get up, brush my teeth, get dressed into my exercise gear and start the session planned for me today, and I hope that the feeling of feeling down will pass by swiftly.\n","permalink":"/blog/5th-day/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s, I believe, too early into the new year to already feel like I just want to stay in bed, and especially like I do not want to exercise. Yet, here I am, feeling this way already on the 5th day of the year. The rain is of course not helping.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt scares me when days like these make me feel like nothing I do works and make me wonder if it all really is worth it. All the early mornings… All the exercises that I cannot do, yet try my best to get right… All futile…\u003c/p\u003e","title":"5th day"},{"content":"","permalink":"/order-eng-80/index.html","summary":"","title":"Order"},{"content":"","permalink":"/order-afr-80/index.html","summary":"","title":"Order"},{"content":"For the third consecutive week, my Wednesday training brief is a 60-minute run with a 20-minute faster finish.\nThe first time I attempted this session with a mindset of: I always fail when attempting a faster finish, but I’ll try… I didn’t mess it up completely, but I ran out of oomph when it mattered.\nThe second time I tried rectifying some of my previous mistakes. I reckon I ran that session rather well. My split graph resembled a faster finish, even though I was still in the red zone and not meeting the last 20 minutes’ required pace.\nToday I focused on pushing even more effort into those last 20 minutes. I now have an even neater split graph and just-just managed to finish in the green zone. Today I ran more comfortably. I focused on a higher cadence instead of longer strides.\nNext week I’d like to remain in the green zone more comfortably.\nI love this weekly challenge. Most of my running sessions are easy runs during which I watch my heart rate and try to keep it low. I enjoy them too. But it is nice to have this weekly session to test me.\nI only compete against myself and am busy winning the version of me that believes I cannot finish fast.\n","permalink":"/blog/wednesday-30-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eFor the third consecutive week, my Wednesday training brief is a 60-minute run with a 20-minute faster finish.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe first time I attempted this session with a mindset of: I always fail when attempting a faster finish, but I’ll try… I didn’t mess it up completely, but I ran out of oomph when it mattered.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe second time I tried rectifying some of my previous mistakes. I reckon I ran that session rather well. My split graph resembled a faster finish, even though I was still in the red zone and not meeting the last 20 minutes’ required pace.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Wednesday, 30 November 2022"},{"content":"As it turns out, running 15 km after nearly five weeks of not running further than 10 km is not as easy as one-two-three. (I wanted to say \u0026ldquo;as easy as riding a bike\u0026rdquo;, but I didn\u0026rsquo;t want to offend any cyclists.)\nDespite sticking to a low heart rate zone and not pushing myself, I found today\u0026rsquo;s 15 km run challenging. Strictly speaking, I did do more than my workout brief - the slightest of slightly more. Today\u0026rsquo;s workout was supposed to be only two hours long, but when two hours had elapsed, I had two kilometres left to reach 15, so I decided to go for it.\nI am shocked by how quickly I seem to have lost my ability to run longer distances. Hopefully, I can swiftly return to my previous form.\nMatters seemed so grim I resorted to a late afternoon nap and recovery run - which did help.\n","permalink":"/blog/saturday-19-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAs it turns out, running 15 km after nearly five weeks of not running further than 10 km is not as easy as one-two-three. (I wanted to say \u0026ldquo;as easy as riding a bike\u0026rdquo;, but I didn\u0026rsquo;t want to offend any cyclists.)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDespite sticking to a low heart rate zone and not pushing myself, I found today\u0026rsquo;s 15 km run challenging. Strictly speaking, I did do more than my workout brief - the slightest of slightly more. Today\u0026rsquo;s workout was supposed to be only two hours long, but when two hours had elapsed, I had two kilometres left to reach 15, so I decided to go for it.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Saturday, 19 November 2022"},{"content":"Today\u0026rsquo;s strength training session was… different.\nWe did simple exercises, but many (MANY) repetitions of those exercises. There was no single exercise I couldn\u0026rsquo;t do or even struggled with - unlike what sometimes happens during a strength session. One would think I would\u0026rsquo;ve cruised through today\u0026rsquo;s session, but I did not. It was challenging! By the time of my work\u0026rsquo;s morning stand-up meeting, my legs were still shaking.\nStrength training still remains one of my biggest workout challenges. Even, it seems, when the exercises are within my means.\n","permalink":"/blog/thursday-17-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eToday\u0026rsquo;s strength training session was… different.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe did simple exercises, but many (MANY) repetitions of those exercises. There was no single exercise I couldn\u0026rsquo;t do or even struggled with - unlike what sometimes happens during a strength session. One would think I would\u0026rsquo;ve cruised through today\u0026rsquo;s session, but I did not. It was challenging! By the time of my work\u0026rsquo;s morning stand-up meeting, my legs were still shaking.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStrength training still remains one of my biggest workout challenges. Even, it seems, when the exercises are within my means.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Thursday, 17 November 2022"},{"content":"I have to word this carefully as I do not want it to sound pessimistic.\nI find things don’t work for me as it does for others.\nWhen I rest, I become unfit quickly.\nAlthough it was hard work training for a marathon, marathon training caused me to run slower. I know we were training to run further, not faster. But still…\nMy experience is that I have to be exceptionally disciplined with everything, otherwise it does not work as it should. But I have been working for years to break my “all or nothing” patterns — which usually resulted in nothing. I try to live by an “always something”-mentality. It doesn’t seem to serve me well, though. As if “always something” is not enough.\nWhen I consider the outcries from others commenting about diets only working when you do everything right all the time, I don’t think I am the only one experiencing this problem.\nLast week Jateen shared an Eluid Kipchoge quote: “Only the disciplined ones in life are free. If you are undisciplined, you are a slave to your emotions and passions.”\nThis quote has been milling in my mind since he posted it. I agree with it, but I also don’t. It messes with my “always something”-motto. And with the emotional and passionate way I wish to interact with the world. To me the quote describes a cold and hard person — tough, very tough.\nPerhaps results are achieved only by those who are incredibly disciplined.\nI don’t aim for perfection anymore. I do not see myself as exceptionally disciplined. I aim for balance and consistency: disciplined enough to grow, but carefree enough to live. Perhaps that is why I do not always get the results I want. Perhaps “always something” is realistic, but the fool’s way of living while thinking that you will achieve something.\nYesterday Jateen sent a message about rest and off seasons. When I read about rest, my reaction often is: “But I cannot afford the rest as it will set me back.” I know only four weeks since the Cape Town marathon has passed, but it feels like I am way behind and need to start over again. Which certainly cannot be, but that is how it feels. There is that “slave to your emotions” part again…\nI think the way to reach peace of mind regarding discipline and balance is to ponder the definition of “free”. “Only the disciplined ones in life are free.” Free how? Free to never doubt their performances and results? Perhaps… But that freedom comes at a cost. A cost that is also freedom — ironically.\n","permalink":"/blog/discipline/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI have to word this carefully as I do not want it to sound pessimistic.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI find things don’t work for me as it does for others.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I rest, I become unfit quickly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlthough it was hard work training for a marathon, marathon training caused me to run slower. I know we were training to run further, not faster. But still…\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy experience is that I have to be exceptionally disciplined with everything, otherwise it does not work as it should. But I have been working for years to break my “all or nothing” patterns — which usually resulted in nothing. I try to live by an “always something”-mentality. It doesn’t seem to serve me well, though. As if “always something” is not enough.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Discipline"},{"content":"Today’s training was a 40-minute strength session. My workout included sets of hold, flow and high-energy exercises.\nI found the hold exercises in each set the most strenuous. There were squat, plank, lunge, pilates-hundreds (I am unsure if this name is correct) and bear-crawl positions to hold for as long as 40 seconds at a time. These exercises were challenging!\nThe flow and high-energy exercises were easier to manage, but I struggled whenever I needed to jump out of a position — someday I will get this right. At the end of today’s session, Jateen said he found the chest-to-floor-getups one of the easier exercises of the day. I do not share his viewpoint.\nLately, I’ve been feeling more like my old self. My energy is picking up, and I’m managing to control my post-marathon swelling that kept flaring up at random times. I told Jateen I’d like to start running 15 km and further again — maybe from next weekend. Jateen did not object, which I hope is a good thing. I need to slowly build my way back to running longer distances again.\n","permalink":"/blog/wednesday-9-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eToday’s training was a 40-minute strength session. My workout included sets of hold, flow and high-energy exercises.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI found the hold exercises in each set the most strenuous. There were squat, plank, lunge, pilates-hundreds (I am unsure if this name is correct) and bear-crawl positions to hold for as long as 40 seconds at a time. These exercises were challenging!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe flow and high-energy exercises were easier to manage, but I struggled whenever I needed to jump out of a position — someday I will get this right. At the end of today’s session, Jateen said he found the chest-to-floor-getups one of the easier exercises of the day. I do not share his viewpoint.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Wednesday, 9 November 2022"},{"content":"I know a traditional Chinese curse that translates to “May you live in interesting times.”\nThis morning’s run was interesting. And I am unsure if that is good or bad — it is only interesting.\nI thought I had a 45-minute easy run to complete today — which is what my workout’s description was. However, when I started the session on my watch, it displayed as an hour session. I messaged Jateen, but because I still had to shower and get ready for work after my run, I decided to start running before he sent feedback on whether it should be 45 minutes or an hour. My expected average pace for today’s workout was also quite fast for an easy run: 8:15. I’d love to run comfortably at 8:15, but I am not there yet.\nBecause I was unsure of the duration and pace, I decided to return to basics and run my usual route heart rate-based. Four years ago, running according to my heart rate meant not allowing my heart rate to drop below a certain threshold. Now that I am a bit wiser, I realise that I should also not push my heart rate up too much — not if I aim to complete an easy run.\nI guess I determined my own workout goals today.\nI aimed to remain within the aerobic heart rate zone. The uphills elevated my heart rate too much, and, at times, I had to slow down considerably even though I felt I could continue running. If I ran pace-based, I wouldn’t have slowed down then. I also think that I could’ve run downhill quicker. There were times when my heart rate dropped too low, but I couldn’t seem to elevate it despite going faster. Perhaps I should’ve pushed even harder.\nAll-in-all I enjoyed today’s run. But did I enjoy it because I’ve been feeling a bit better these past few days or because I got to run in a fashion that feels familiar to me? I think running heart rate-based might be a tactic to consider for my easy runs. But would it be an effective tactic if my goal is to run faster?\nI completed today’s run at an average pace of only 9:29.\n","permalink":"/blog/thursday-3-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI know a traditional Chinese curse that translates to “May you live in interesting times.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis morning’s run was interesting. And I am unsure if that is good or bad — it is only interesting.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI thought I had a 45-minute easy run to complete today — which is what my workout’s description was. However, when I started the session on my watch, it displayed as an hour session. I messaged Jateen, but because I still had to shower and get ready for work after my run, I decided to start running before he sent feedback on whether it should be 45 minutes or an hour. My expected average pace for today’s workout was also quite fast for an easy run: 8:15. I’d love to run comfortably at 8:15, but I am not there yet.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Thursday, 3 November 2022"},{"content":"I considered introducing myself at our morning standup meeting as being dead.\nMy training today was a 40-minute HIIT strength workout. The only exercise I struggled with was the chest-to-floor burpee, but that doesn’t mean it was an easy session. I had ten different activities to do and 30 seconds for each one, but no rest in between — apart from the rest I could take once I’ve finished each set’s required repetitions. After the initial round of ten, Jateen dropped one exercise from the next and continued like this until no activities remained. The chest-to-floor burpee was the first removed exercise — thank you, Jateen.\nI don’t rush strength training; I go about it rather slowly. After a round or three, I moved from one exercise to the next with virtually no rest. Continuously exercising like this became very tiring very quickly. But I survived! However, I don’t want to do another session like this soon.\nMy first blog remark regarding strength sessions was that I do not wish to harbour a negative attitude towards any part of my training. Today’s session was my second strength workout of this new training season. Something I’d like to focus on over the next season is to get more enjoyment and results from strength training. The only thoughts I have regarding this are to keep showing up and participate fully — and hope for the best.\n","permalink":"/blog/wednesday-2-november-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI considered introducing myself at our morning standup meeting as being dead.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy training today was a 40-minute HIIT strength workout. The only exercise I struggled with was the chest-to-floor burpee, but that doesn’t mean it was an easy session. I had ten different activities to do and 30 seconds for each one, but no rest in between — apart from the rest I could take once I’ve finished each set’s required repetitions. After the initial round of ten, Jateen dropped one exercise from the next and continued like this until no activities remained. The chest-to-floor burpee was the first removed exercise — thank you, Jateen.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Wednesday, 2 November 2022"},{"content":"Today’s training was a lower-body focussed strength training session - I’ve not had a strength training session in a long time. I found today’s workout challenging but manageable. The only exercises I struggled to do were the split lunge jumps. I also experienced cramps in my legs during the glut bridge raises, which concerns me a little bit. But they quickly passed, and I am still recovering from last weekend, so I will not worry about them too much.\nYes, even strength training is exhausting!\n","permalink":"/blog/thursday-27-october-2022/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eToday’s training was a lower-body focussed strength training session - I’ve not had a strength training session in a long time. I found today’s workout challenging but manageable. The only exercises I struggled to do were the split lunge jumps. I also experienced cramps in my legs during the glut bridge raises, which concerns me a little bit. But they quickly passed, and I am still recovering from last weekend, so I will not worry about them too much.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Thursday, 27 October 2022"},{"content":"\nEighty Kilos of Shame The process of losing the emotional weight\nAmazon\nMalherbe\n“Once a fattie, always a fattie.” Right?\nAfter spending most of her life obese, weighing in at one-hundred-and-sixty-five kilograms (364 lbs) at her heaviest, Mart-Mari Breedt, software engineer and mother of four, lost just over eighty kilograms (176 lbs) in a mammoth battle against the scale. She then found herself in a frightening dilemma: how would she manage to keep the weight off and maintain her massive loss after she had spent her entire life as a morbidly obese person? All she had ever known was how to be fat. Being thin was a new and daunting experience.\nIn her dazzling debut memoir, Mart-Mari asks hard to answer questions: Can you recover from obesity? Is it possible to maintain a weight loss of eighty kilograms?\nThere are so many books on how to lose weight — an entire industry has been built around it, yet so little — apart from stick to your eating plan, keep exercising and continue to be perfect — is written about keeping the kilos off and maintaining one’s weight.\nRefusing to accept defeat and realising that she cannot spend the rest of her life obsessed with her scale, Mart-Mari started blogging about her maintenance challenges, which turned into an introspection journey. In the process, she dug deep, confronting long-buried emotions. Along the way, she found her true self, who had still been hiding in eighty kilograms of shame.\nTagtig Kilos se Skuldlas Die proses om die emosionele gewig te verloor\nAmazon\nMalherbe\n“Een keer ’n vettie, altyd ’n vettie.” Nè?\nNa ’n hele lewe as ’n vetsugtige persoon, het Mart-Mari Breedt, ’n sagteware-ingenieur en ma van vier, net meer as tagtig kilogram verloor. Haar stryd teen die skaal was massief — op haar swaarste het sy een-honderd-vyf-en-sestig kilogram geweeg. Maar in plaas daarvan om haar nuwe gewig ten volle te geniet, bevind sy haarself toe in ’n skrikwekkende nuwe dilemma: hoe gaan sy dit regkry om haar gewig nou konstant te hou, as sy nog haar hele lewe lank oorgewig was? Sy weet hoe om vet te wees — sy het immers jare se ondervinding daarmee. Om maer te wees was ’n nuwe en uitdagende ondervinding.\nIn haar ‘krap-alles-oop’-debuutgedenkskrif, vra Mart-Mari moeilike vrae met geen maklike antwoorde nie: Is dit moontlik om ten volle te kan genees van vetsug? Is dit moontlik om ’n gewigsverlies van tagtig kilogram in stand te hou?\nDaar is so baie leesstof oor hoe om gewig te verloor — ’n hele industrie is gebou daarom, tog is daar so min, behalwe hou by jou eetplan, bly oefen en hou aan om perfek te wees — geskryf oor hoe om gewig af te hou.\nHaar hardkoppige weiering om te aanvaar dat sy maar net weer haar gewig gaan optel, saam met ’n besef dat sy nie vir die res van haar lewe die skaal obsessief kan dophou nie, het gemaak dat Mart-Mari begin skryf het oor haar gewig se instandhouding en uitdagings. Haar skrywery het gelei tot ’n introspektiewe reis waartydens sy baie diep in haar psige moes gaan grawe en baie seer en ou emosies in die gesig moes staar. Op haar reis het sy haar opregte self ontdek, wat nog al die tyd begrawe was in ’n skuldlas van tagtig kilogram.\nMy First Marathon Training 80 kg down, a marathon to go…\nAmazon\nMalherbe\nRunning is hard.\n42,2 km is far.\nFor most runners running 42,2 km is a bucket list event. For Mart-Mari Breedt it was as well. This 41-year-old software engineer, author and mother of four had already achieved a lot in her life: She lost 80 kg, became a runner, and authored and published her memoir. She loves writing and running and embraces the gifts that overcoming obesity has brought her. It is now time for her next goal: Running a marathon.\nMy First Marathon Training is a tale of grit. It is the story of how an unlikely marathon runner persevered through a challenging training program to achieve a goal she thought herself incapable of achieving. There were days when her responsibilities made it unrealistic to fit training into her life. Many days she was tired, sore and doubted herself.\nPhysical discomfort was inevitable — nothing about Mart-Mari’s story was ever comfortable. But mental discomfort — for someone as headstrong and determined as Mart-Mari — was surprising.\nMart-Mari’s story might appear to be about her journey to the marathon finishing line — it is not. It is about how she made her way to the start line. She only realised this herself the day before race day.\n42,2 km is far. 0 km is sometimes further.\nDie Kopskuif kursus Ek beplan nog \u0026rsquo;n rondte van die Kopskuif kursus asook \u0026rsquo;n Engelse weergawe van hierdie kursus. Ek sal later meer hieroor deel. Volg my Facebook blad en nuusbrief vir meer inligting.\nDie Kopskuif kursus is \u0026rsquo;n gewigsverlies voorbereidingskursus. In hierdie kursus probeer ek om die wêreld van diëte en oefening te ontrafel en dit \u0026rsquo;n bietjie minder ontmoedigend te maak vir iemand wat weet dat hulle gewig moet verloor, maar onseker is oor waar om te begin.\nOor die verloop van 21 dae gesels ons oor:\nRedes vir wil gewig verloor Emosionele eet Motivering Verskillende diëte Verskillende oefen opsies Ondersteuning, ens Kursus formaat: Regstreekse video\u0026rsquo;s elke weeksdag en geskrewe dagstukkies\nPlatform: Facebook\nKoste: tbc\n","permalink":"/writing/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" src="/%22/image_144.webp/%22/u003e/u003c/p/u003e/n/u003ch2/index.html" id=\"eighty-kilos-of-shame\"\u003eEighty Kilos of Shame\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe process of losing the emotional weight\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href="/%22https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09M788RJ1//%22/u003eAmazon/u003c/a/u003e/u003c/p/u003e/n/u003cp/u003e/u003ca/index.html" href="/%22https://www.malherbe-uitgewers.co.za/brands/product/eighty-kilos-of-shame-mart-mari-breedt/%22/u003eMalherbe/u003c/a/u003e/u003c/p/u003e/n/u003cp/u003e%E2%80%9COnce/index.html" a fattie, always a fattie.” Right?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter spending most of her life obese, weighing in at one-hundred-and-sixty-five kilograms (364 lbs) at her heaviest, Mart-Mari Breedt, software engineer and mother of four, lost just over eighty kilograms (176 lbs) in a mammoth battle against the scale. She then found herself in a frightening dilemma: how would she manage to keep the weight off and maintain her massive loss after she had spent her entire life as a morbidly obese person? All she had ever known was how to be fat. Being thin was a new and daunting experience.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Writing"},{"content":"Graham, our Run Zone club chairman, has a thing about the word “just”. A typical conversation with him after a club or time trial run would go like this:\nGraham: “Well done! How far did you run?”\nMe: “Just 5 (or whatever other distance) km today.”\nGraham: “It is never JUST 5 km! Well done!”\nBut it gives me great pleasure to say that today’s run was JUST 21 km (actually it was a few hundred metres short, but let’s not get stuck on technicalities). The word “just” means that I have worked so hard that I can claim 21 km as being well within my capabilities. I have the fitness, the strength and the endurance to run 21 km, it is only my right foot that is holding me back on pace — and that I am trying to work on as best I can.\nYes, it is never JUST 21 km, but never have I ever thought I would be able to say: “Just 21 km today.”\n","permalink":"/blog/just-21-km/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eGraham, our Run Zone club chairman, has a thing about the word “just”. A typical conversation with him after a club or time trial run would go like this:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGraham: “Well done! How far did you run?”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMe: “Just 5 (or whatever other distance) km today.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGraham: “It is never JUST 5 km! Well done!”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut it gives me great pleasure to say that today’s run was JUST 21 km (actually it was a few hundred metres short, but let’s not get stuck on technicalities). The word “just” means that I have worked so hard that I can claim 21 km as being well within my capabilities. I have the fitness, the strength and the endurance to run 21 km, it is only my right foot that is holding me back on pace — and that I am trying to work on as best I can.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Just 21 km"},{"content":"Who am I? I always start answering this question by saying that I am a software engineer, a happily married mother of four, an avid runner and the author of two books. That is more or less the order these things occurred in: software engineer, married, mother, runner, author.\nBut those are things that I do. They are not who I am. So, if I take all of those out of the equation, who am I really?\nI inherited a few attributes on the day that I was born that \u0026ldquo;directed\u0026rdquo; \u0026ldquo;who\u0026rdquo; I might be. For example, I am a Caucasian, Afrikaans speaking woman born as the second child to a mother of age 39, a housewife, and a father of age 49, an admin clerk on the mine. This set the scene for the person I was to become.\nI am hardworking and loyal and endeavour to always be as honest as I possibly can. I am braver than what is necessarily good for me. I speak my mind and tell my truth, and, after decades of saying what I felt was safe, I am determined to not change that about me. I love too deeply, care too much and tend to overthink. I want my work to have value and truly make a difference. I want to feel appreciated.\nI am not a little bundle of energy, the wild one or the life of the party. I have a serious and solemn, almost academic, aura, but I do believe that it is also a glowing, happy and passionate aura.\nAlthough one of my mottos is, \u0026ldquo;A man is not a plan,\u0026rdquo; the one thing I cannot see myself living without is my husband. So many people say that marriage is hard work, but I find the opposite to be true. My marriage does not add to my workload, it makes my life easier and enriches it.\nMy little side hustle became the selling of my books - which never was the plan. Somehow I self-published and seeing as I wish to one day publish another book I guess I will have to figure this thing out. I suck at marketing and pricing and am starting to think that word of mouth really is overrated.\n","permalink":"/blog/this-is-me/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWho am I? I always start answering this question by saying that I am a software engineer, a happily married mother of four, an avid runner and the author of two books. That is more or less the order these things occurred in: software engineer, married, mother, runner, author.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut those are things that I do. They are not who I am. So, if I take all of those out of the equation, who am I really?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"This is me"},{"content":"And it is a wrap!\nWhat an incredible three days of running. Thank you RunZone and especially Graham Block.\nDay 1 - 30 km\nThis was the race I needed to push myself in the most. I\u0026rsquo;ve never run 30 km, but we heard rain forecasts for the weekend, and I wanted to have the extra 10 km to play with if necessary.\nDay 2 - 20 km\nThis was the most challenging route of the three days. If I never run this route again, it will be too soon. I could also feel the previous day\u0026rsquo;s 30 km and it was difficult to push through.\nDay 3 - 10 km\nThis was mentally the most challenging day. I woke up to rain and was considering cashing in on the first day\u0026rsquo;s extra 10 km. I had to pep talk myself into getting up, dressing and showing up to run 10 km in the rain. At the start of this challenge, I committed to three days of running, and now that it is done I feel so chuffed and proud of myself.\n(It was also a challenge to make that race number last for three days)\n","permalink":"/blog/zone-50-challenge/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAnd it is a wrap!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat an incredible three days of running. Thank you RunZone and especially Graham Block.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDay 1 - 30 km\u003cbr\u003e\nThis was the race I needed to push myself in the most. I\u0026rsquo;ve never run 30 km, but we heard rain forecasts for the weekend, and I wanted to have the extra 10 km to play with if necessary.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDay 2 - 20 km\u003cbr\u003e\nThis was the most challenging route of the three days. If I never run this route again, it will be too soon. I could also feel the previous day\u0026rsquo;s 30 km and it was difficult to push through.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Zone 50 Challenge"},{"content":"I always push myself during our running club’s Wednesday afternoon time trial. The time trial from two Wednesdays ago was no different. I pushed and pushed some more; I ran my heart out. Yet my watch recorded a disappointing 38m 17s — more than two minutes slower than the former time I ran it!\nBack at our clubhouse I reluctantly filled in my time on our leaderboard sheet. Our club chairman spotted me and asked, “How did your run go?”\n“I don’t know what to think anymore. Regardless of how hard I try, I am just not improving. I keep getting slower!” I answered as truthfully as I could, feeling myself tearing up at the verbal confirmation of my hopelessness.\nThe Sunday before that disappointing time trial, I ran one of my worst half-marathons ever. During the last two kilometres of that 21.1 kilometres, I was so tired that I resorted to walking — something I hardly ever do when I’ve committed to running a particular route.\nBack home from the time trial, I felt like I want to retire my running shoes. I was not enjoying running anymore! A shocking admission for someone who wrote an entire chapter of more than 4000 words on how much she loves running in her book. I felt down, despondent and tired. None of the activities I previously enjoyed doing was fun anymore — I’d prefer to do nothing all day, every day. The irony of the situation is that everything around me was going so fantastically well; I had no reason for feeling the way I felt! It was as if my feelings didn’t match my environment.\nThe next day I slept in, refusing to rise early for a run. I didn’t feel like myself the entire day. By that afternoon I asked my doctor if I could come for some blood tests in the morning — I believed that my iron levels were acting up again. I felt tired and couldn’t seem to snap out of my fowl mood! That afternoon I also skipped our Thursday activity at the club, something else I don’t do without good reason.\nThe following morning, a Friday morning, was another sleep-in morning. I didn’t even feel up to a simple walk. I went for my blood tests but was surprised to notice myself feeling better by that afternoon. I have enough experience from struggling with my iron to know that an iron issue doesn’t just go away without you doing something about it. My problem must be something else.\nAlthough I slept in again that Saturday morning, I felt significantly better. So much so that I decided to go for a short, albeit late morning, run. That run didn’t feel like something I dreaded doing. That run felt good and gave me time to ponder the possibility that perhaps I am simply tired. But being tired seemed like a strange idea — I do rest!\nSince joining the running club towards the end of 2021, I have been diligent with resting on Mondays and Fridays. But, since the start of 2022, I have been incorporating walking into my exercise routine. Before I knew it, I walked five kilometres on Monday and Friday mornings instead of sleeping in and resting. I didn’t consider walking to be the same level of exercise as running; I still regarded it to be a rest from running. I was patting myself on the back as I found a way to work in a bit of exercise each day — other than the resistance training I usually do on a rest day.\nWhen I became comfortable running half-marathons, I started running a half-marathon each weekend. I thought I was doing well until I wasn’t anymore! I did not register what was happening until I convinced myself that: I was not a runner, I would never improve, I would always run poorly.\nIs anyone else also spotting the problem? How was I so blind to not seeing it earlier?\nSeeing as I was already in the mental space of contemplating finding myself another sport to partake in, I thought: ‘What do you have to lose by taking a proper break and seeing what happens?’\nAs it turned out, a break did me a world of good.\nBy the following Monday morning, my colleagues commented on how much better I looked and sounded. My doctor’s office phoned later that morning with the results of my blood tests indicating no problems found — I was silly to think that the problem must be there in the first place. The Wednesday afternoon I ran a personal best time for the club time trial. And by Saturday I ran a suspicion confirming ten kilometres at a decent pace feeling like my old self again.\nI did have to resist the urge of going for a walk on Friday morning though. I felt like I wanted to go for a walk. I was lying in my bed and contemplating it. I thought of other people exercising and how lazy I was to be resting.\nSomehow I have to stop thinking of resting as being lazy and start treating it as a necessity. Fighting the mental battle is always so much more challenging!\n","permalink":"/blog/my-training-went-well-until-it-didnt/index.html","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI always push myself during our running club’s Wednesday afternoon time trial. The time trial from two Wednesdays ago was no different. I pushed and pushed some more; I ran my heart out. Yet my watch recorded a disappointing 38m 17s — more than two minutes slower than the former time I ran it!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack at our clubhouse I reluctantly filled in my time on our leaderboard sheet. Our club chairman spotted me and asked, “How did your run go?”\u003c/p\u003e","title":"My Training Went Well Until It Didn’t"}]