My immediate family and I enjoyed the coastal sun and waves for the past two weeks. Leaving a piece of my heart behind in the small town, the sadness of returning to city life sparked the discussion again between my husband and me about whether we should consider moving to a smaller coastal town. Years ago, we had our house on the market, serious about moving, but COVID happened, and those plans were cancelled. ...
Welcome to that week between Christmas and New Year when even the days of the week become a mystery. This time of year, akin to limbo, is truly special. My children’s stationary and school clothes are mostly sorted and ready for the upcoming year—well, they’ll survive with what hasn’t been sorted yet. Christmas has come and gone, and it feels as though the entire world has collectively decided to take a bit of a breather. ...
I have been participating in a reflection workshop since the beginning of December. I also took part in this workshop last December. It is a wonderful way to conclude a year. One of our recent prompts for introspection was: ‘Where did you own your value this year?’ To unpack this prompt, I used the following rationale: To understand where I owned my value this year, I first need to comprehend what it means to own my value. ...
When I stood at the start of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, it felt to me as if everything that I had done since 7 February 2017 - rejoining Weigh-less, starting to run, losing 80kg, going for therapy, writing a book, joining a running club, working with a coach - had all accumulated to one single point in time. And when I crossed the finish line of the 2022 Cape Town Marathon, I realised that every now and then hard work is rewarded.
“Tell me at what point we will start running again.” It was my first time running ten kilometres with Coach Michelle, of which the first three kilometres were basically all uphill. I had just asked for a walking break when she asked the aforementioned question. I must’ve frowned at her in response… “We cannot walk indefinitely. Commit to a point where we will start running again.” I cannot recall which point I picked, and later on, she started picking points for me ‘cause I was obviously too indecisive - or too tired. But afterwards, this concept of committing to start running again was a take-home for me from that first ten kilometres of running with Michelle. ...
An observation from my run with Michelle on Friday was that I don’t push myself nearly hard enough. There were many times during that run I desperately wanted to run slower. And I would’ve… if it wasn’t for Michelle’s persistent pushing. I shared this observation with Michelle. She said: “You need to learn to push yourself. It comes from your intrinsic motivation which you need to get in touch with.” ...
I didn’t come to write, I believe, in the same fashion other authors did. I’ve never attended literature school - although I love languages and have always enjoyed reading. When I started therapy, the first in-depth discussion point between myself and my therapist was the relationship between my sister, who committed suicide, and me. My therapist wanted me to imagine myself going to heaven and fighting out all my issues with her. “Get rid of the anger,” he said. ...
When we watch the ending of a movie or read the final chapter of a book, it is easy to assume that the rest of the story will continue that way: “And they lived happily ever after…” But real life doesn’t work that way - we can arrive but not stay forever. Yet, that seems to be the expectation and, I believe, a lie we tell ourselves. Yes, we get to end projects - and the world can certainly do with more people completing what they’ve started - but what happens after the end is more important - and perhaps the more difficult journey. ...
Edna’s interview with me. We talk about my book, Eighty kilos of Shame, specifically two chapters that resonated with Edna. She didn’t tell me beforehand which two chapters, which made the interview very interesting…
