There have been so many signs lately that I am growing older much faster than I want to. And I am already feeling a bit insecure about it because I am trying to grow my grey out… again. It is currently at that horrible stage where it is so tempting to just go colour it.

We were celebrating my 45th birthday this past weekend, seeing as I am going to be in Cape Town for the remainder of this coming week, and I decided to have a glass of wine. Boy, that did not go down well. I have officially reached the age where any alcohol creates havoc with my sleep and HRV.

I also ran Cross Country this past weekend, and my youngest son joined me. Afterwards, he was looking for our times on Peak Timing and could not find my result on the system. Turns out he was looking in the wrong age group. I have obviously moved on to the 45–50 age group now. Can you believe it?

But do you know the sign that hit me the hardest these past two weeks?

My eldest son travelled to Nigeria to compete in the African Continental Track Cycling Championships. I know one of the main goals as a parent is to raise independent children. But do you know how hard it hits when you realise that your child can actually get on an aeroplane and travel internationally without you needing to sign anything? He does not even need his birth certificate anymore to travel.

And he is just the first of my children to be able to do that.

One by one, they are going to fly — some literally — and spread their wings until they have all gone. And while it makes me incredibly proud, it is also very scary.

Growing old is a privilege denied to many. It is the realising and noticing it part that feels scary.

But in the meantime, I also have to continue living for myself and chasing my own hopes and dreams. It is race week! This upcoming Sunday, I will be running my fifth marathon. I am hoping things will go superdly well, please hold thumbs for me.